thrcy

thrcy May 2016

Someone asked me what it was like loving you
I said it was like loving a hurricane
You came unexpectedly in my life
I got no warning or signs that you were on your way to me
You were this beautiful spiral disaster
Who was out of control and a complete mess when we met
You were like a carefree child who had no care at all at the world
But you didn't know the damage that you have done
I knew from the start that you were messy and complicated
I guess that's what attracted me to you
I have this thing where I want to fix things and people
But all you did was destroy everything
Everything that I ever put all my effort into
And in the process you destroyed me too
I thought I could be the one to help you
Help you manage your anger and your fears
And bring the sunshine in you
Because I know that you wouldn't be like a hurricane without any reasons or cause behind it
Throughout the time of getting to know you
I've seen your dark side and your past and what had triggered you to be this way
That's when I thought that you needed someone to save you
So I volunteered to be that person
But really I was the one who needed saving
Because you drowned every part of me
Leaving me with emptiness and a broken heart
Then I thought to myself:
Maybe I broke my own heart too
Cause I walked myself right into this situation
When I knew from the beginning this wasn't going to be easy to get through
I should have left it at hello
But it was all my choice to stay and get attached
For I have given you the opportunity too
I just thought you could have proven me wrong
So loving you was like loving a hurricane
It was intense and grimy
You came on too strong in the start
Eventually you were calm
People say hurricanes caused them sadness
I'm pretty sure I felt the same as well

thrcy Apr 2016

six hundred forty seven

647.086 kilometres apart
6ix all the way to you
6 days since you left
6 minutes to think everything through
6 seconds to let it all sink in
6 months all it took for me

All the time spent together
Blissful memories
Late night talks
Hours of phone calls
Venturing in the city
Experiencing new things
Our long walks
Getting lost in places
Acting like foreigners
That I'll all miss

You're telling me you'll be back in a year or two
You never asked me to wait for you
I was slightly disappointed
But you wanted me to live life
And didn't want to hold me back
We may be six hundred forty seven and eighty six kilometres apart
In my heart there's no distance
For you'll always stay there
This is not the end
I'll see you again
We didn't say goodbye
We'll see each other another time

thrcy Apr 2016

explicit.

I crave for your lips on mine
I crave our bodies together as one
I crave our soul intimate with each other
I miss your touch
The way you take control
I want to feel your body burning with my touch
Because you start this fire inside of me
And it's flame only corresponds with yours
I can't help myself with these feelings and desires
I want the world to know about how our love could burn an entire forest
And at the same time grow trees out of it
Because together we grow each day
As your lips start from my mouth then slowly to my body
You tell me to relax
With that said my body hastily responds to it
Then you whisper to my ears
"Good girl"
Oh God, those two words together makes my heart melt
Me only being good to you and me being your girl
Is the best power duo out there
The words "good girl"
Seems to be a paradox don't you think?
Because at the same time what we're doing
Your hands on my thighs
Trust me I'm only bad for you
Once again his mouth on mine
I swear it taste like safety and security
And when he grips
It is painful yet so satisfying
He tells me
"I could bury my face into the nape of your neck and call it home"
Teachers, school presentations, my parents
Warned me about drugs and alcohol
But not a boy who could make me scream until my lungs runs out of air
I never knew what love bites were
Until he imprinted his on me to mark his territory
He said he's never been into exploring
Until he started his exploring my body with his
Together we could make our own country called love
Capital city intimate
And Valentines Day is everyday
A city filled with love bites and hickeys
But only where we can see
I've never truly met a gentleman
Not until he showed me how gentle he can really be
With the way he caress my body
If I could describe his entire existence in one word
It would be home
After a night filled with adventure
We lock eyes
A connection and bond so deep
I know that I'd be spending my next 60 years with him

thrcy Apr 2016

Dear Lovely Stoner,

No poem in the world could ever describe the abundance of love you have showed me. Nor every lyric to a love song could ever compare to how you take care of me, how you caress me into your arms for a hug after a bad day I was having and in that moment I knew everything was going to be alright with you by my side. Lovely Stoner I want you to know, you mended my broken heart and months ago I was on fire just waiting for myself to burn. But when you touched me, you turned that disastrous ugly burning fire, into a magnificent lovely firework and showed me off to the world just to remind me that my existence and my beauty is still admired by other people. Lovely stoner thank you for reminding me that I don't need to search for my other half because I'm not a half, I am full just by myself. That I am full of love and beauty that only a few people could ever see and you felt bad for them because they couldn't see it. Thank you for being good for my mental health, for loving my insecurities and my flaws and for making a heart for each of my flaws, because I should learn to love myself no matter what. For showing me that I don't have to prove my importance to other people because you said if somebody can't see what a masterpiece I am, they didn't know what art looked like and you called them amateurs. I remember you once told me I am like the moon, who goes through phases because of my mood swings and the moon isn't always bright and full, for I have my bad days and I feel this emptiness at times but you said "you don't ever stop loving her." You told me that throughout your dark time I was the moon to guide you through and the moon dusted has clouded your vision and I lit up your life like no one else has. In that moment you said the most honest and heartfelt thing to me and I've never been so close to anyone ever. Thank you for only making me cry out of laughter and my stomach doesn't even hurt from laughing and realizing in the middle of the laughter that you are the one. I wouldn't want to go through the bad times with someone else and through my good times I just want to spend it with you. Thank you for making every day as special as it can be and for having the patience with me. I love when you take me high through my lows. I know you aren't the romantic gesture type, but thank you for always showing you love me in the simple little gesture type of way. Thank you for accepting and loving me just the way I am lovely stoner.

lovely stoner part VI

thrcy Mar 2016

thankful

i am so happy
not long ago i hit rock b
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all the odds weren't in my favour
i was on the verge of giving up on e v e r y t h i n g
that i ever worked hard for
i simply did not feel like existing or living
it was like darkness adopted me as her child
and depression was my evil step sister who owns me like i am her possession
i couldn't breathe and there was always this overwhelming feeling in my chest
and of course i couldn't get out of this so easily
darkness and depression are both in the same blood line connected into one
while i am an outsider, a child they took over because of the failure and sadness i have felt
i thought, i really did, that i belonged with them
there was no turning back now, this was it

then someone tapped my back
asked me, "do you mind accompanying me for a while?"
in that moment everything that i ever thought of harming myself was simply adrift and gone
it was like they had saved me from making a very big mistake
they had reminded me there is more to life
that sadness and failure was just a part of life
they didn't have to say it out of their mouth
but to me, it felt like they spoke with their mind
and thank goodness i got the message

later i looked up the sky that day
it was raining heavily
and with that person beside me i think this was a gift from God
my own angel
who had helped me to show and save my own self
they were like the role model for me to acknowledge my own worth
and to love my own self as well

all i know is that life is just life
it sometimes punches you in the stomach
and every time you try to get back up
it punches you over and over again
but this doesn't mean you should give up
there must be a reason why you were given this experience
and in every lesson i know it will make you be stronger
have the knowledge to over come it the next time
so i am happy even throughout the hardships i faced
that i am alive
i am well
i am loved
i am cared for
i am living
i am existing
in this very moment
the worst has occurred
but the best is yet to come
be glad you're still here
better days are coming
i assure you that

this is for my best friend, thank you for the positive vibes and everything else.

thrcy Mar 2016

reminder.

So what that other people chose someone else over you? Remember you are the whole **** sky, you are your own sun to outshine all the bad rainy days you're having. You are the moon and the stars you guide yourself through the dark times. You are the roots that grow into this big beautiful tree, it may take time for you to reach maturity and self love, but once you master this, your mental growth, I swear you could build an entire forest with so much confidence, love and kindness. Don't ever limit yourself in the ocean, you are out of this world and destined for greatness. The galaxies are within you and you are capable with so much more. You are capable of loving, of laughter. So forget about them. Choose yourself, choose you. Make yourself the first choice, prioritize you. It's the best choice. Don't ever hold yourself down on the ground, someone like you with so much potential can do so many amazing things. You do not need other people's approval to know your own worth. So tell yourself "I love me", and I hope one day you truly believe it.

thrcy Jan 2016

fall deeply.

Fall in love with someone who makes your Monday's feel like Friday's
Somebody who sees galaxies within you, a world filled with hopes and dreams
Not someone who drowns you to your insecurities and flaws
Be with a person who shows you off to their friends and families
And not hide you as a secret, because your existence is worth showing off for
Also remember to be with someone who values your worth and to cherish every moment of your presence
Who makes everyday a day filled with adventures and entertainment
Someone who's embrace feels like home and makes sure you are secure and safe
A boy who treats his mama with respect
and his little sister like a princess
Because he'll know how to treat you like royalty
Someone who's willing to learn about how much you admire the sky and the stars and the galaxies
Even though he's been living in the shore all his life and the ocean is the place where he's ever really been
But if he goes out of his way to get to know your world no matter how much the outer space scares him because of the unknown and unfamiliar things out there and the fact that he is afraid of heights and falling without no one catching him, that is someone who's worth drowning for
If he is willingly sure enough to do that for you, bring him into your galaxy take him to Mars, show him the moon so he'll finally know the phrase "I love you to the moon and back" is really about
Enjoy every sunset and sunrise with him
Because if you treat a person with so much love and care
Trust me they'll make all your wishes come true as if they were a shooting star themselves
So fall in love with someone who's down to earth
Who appreciates art and nature
Because they'll be able to appreciate you as one of God's loveliest masterpiece
Fall for someone who lights you up just like how the skyline of New York lights up every night
Somebody who is like New York a city that never sleeps, they'll stay up with you all night just to make sure you're alright until you could finally go to sleep in peace
Fall for somebody who makes everyday feel like Christmas morning 365 days a year twenty four seven
Someone who looks at you the way you look at puppies because of how much you adore them
But more importantly fall deeply in love with someone who gives you room to grow and to make sure to not forget to love yourself everyday

lovely stoner part V