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Alyssa Baugh Aug 2018
I taste sunlight today.
I enjoy every drip
for i know its fleeting
just like our breathing.

You smile at me
suddenly the Void
is
gone.
Alyssa Baugh Aug 2018
Reality is heavy weighted down with my stupid thoughts
The ones i continually allow back to erase my progress
Failure is easy to accept if you lack pride
My ego is small and so is my confidence
Shadows and light dance across my vision
There's no decision to me made
i've already chosen
mutilation is meditation
I  
exhale.
Alyssa Baugh Aug 2018
I exhale my dreams
in a cloud of toxins
I've no appetite for food
or life.
Today my world was drenched in grey
            my soul in dark blue.
Spreading my self too thin
I've got nothing left within.
living a life of dissociation
to be as far away from my self
  is the destination.
Nothing inside hallowed out shell of something i once was
Alyssa Baugh Aug 2018
Melancholy rains in my mind..
Melancholy rains in my mind..
I think about it all the time
pointless is this existence
I'm full of void
desolate and barren
unable to feel anything
Aside from neutrality
gravity of the
                   soul.
Alyssa Baugh Aug 2018
Anxiety is what i'm
entirely composed of
Always failing
always behind
never enough
to counteract these things is simple
any leverage i get i take
no matter the consequence
the only leverage i seem to possess
is the super power of dissociation
Ill smoke a water fall of cigarettes to keep my hands busy
other wise ill clench them
Ill talk so much you'll have to leave the room
to escape my ambush of thoughts
I thought you'd like to hear em
but you told me other wise
The excitement drained from my eyes
Ironically that's the trait of myself i despise
I like myself a little less
                                  now.
Alyssa Baugh Aug 2018
My eyes are so
                      heavy.
Mind foggy
  Every direction leads me
to a dead end
Knowing I shouldn't invest too much thought into whats ifs or
                                                                                            maybes.
Always finding myself thinking of your face.
Blonde hair
             Green eyes
Alyssa Baugh Aug 2018
I cant preform at my best
when my hearts trying to escape my chest
I want to write and recite beautiful poetry
I long to manifest my anguish in paintings and sculptures
Being sociable and friendly is a fantasy of mine
But lately
I don't want to talk to any one  
about anything
I want nothing from no one.
except maybe your company
Maybe I wont feel so alone
keep losing tack of self.
transforming into this
                                       Thing.
I do not recognize
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