Even since November
It's been a cold December
And all the things you said
You can not remember

We held each breath
as though it were our last
woven from a loom  
designed with regret;
born from the fabrics
we had been spun
as if we would never run out
and we'd never be done

when you are laughing
are you crying
when you’re under her thong?
or do you think about yourself dying
over the weight of my song?
and I could tell you
I could fake it
I could never be wrong
but you won’t ever find me broken
over the weight of a song

It was when you had your tongue stuck down November’s throat
That meant I’d soon lose the hands that you’d tuck inside of December’s coat

Still, I lost a family to which I thought I belonged
But I couldn’t face your mother’s heart which I knew I had wronged

I could sit up all night pouring myself onto my bed
Only in tear-drenched fabrics would we have ever been ‘wed

And only to me, I wonder if your Father would have given you away
But if he did, I would have owed him for a debt that I could never repay

If I knew your side of the bed would have been cold this long
I’d play you back Track Eleven on Glory Days and hit repeat on the song

you say
that I have been careless with this love
drifting towards beaches  
towards the sand

but though a tear
taps the basic fabric
I continue to see
the sea in your eyes

The theme of this city
Is what darkens the lights
When it's almost dawn
As we play cat and mouse

The tone of the evening
Won't ever be read
Because we will sleep all day
Together in bed

just like the mapped out stars
that put you to sleep at night
i hang
in all my constellations
glowing  
in the darkness

There's a tale of a child
born into the snow
to two months prior
of January's glow
firstly honored by
only his Grandfather's name
tainted by his last
and his Father's game
A hidden tear falls
from a tree in November
but lands so quickly
that he can barely remember

I told myself you may have loved him
but only out of spite
and that I hide behind your eyelids
when he's turning out the lights

Rose petals put to bed
now dead on the kitchen floor
As apologies echo
from behind the front door

so you spilled through my hands
as your moon began to die
but what doesn’t revolve around you  
can no longer cry

there are no silver linings
in clouds that cannot be seen
and perhaps I should forever
remain a dream within a dream

You said it wasn't you
but it was you that I ran from
You said I couldn't love you
but I've got my 'Ray's on

The sun has opened up
I'll split us right down the middle
I won't sign away my life
So I'll write it in riddle

It wasn't like we sat up 'til three
drinking cheap sugar gin
was it always lies
that you had dripping from your chin?

It wasn't like
you screamed for me in the night
perhaps it was me
that gave you the fright?

It wasn't like
my tired body was always yours
I always lay wide awake
whilst you sat behind the doors

put us down
where our dreams go to die
in the dusty old attic
where our throats become dry

in ten or so years
you will strumble across
what could have been
and what you thought you had lost

Pounds are at stake
when we stare in their faces  
Gathered around the fires
in our final graces  

Before we're all turned to ash
and we're put in our places
Little do they know
That we tied all their laces

Sometimes I wonder
If I will always be broken
Like there's so much damage
That I can't be unbroken

Sometimes I wonder
If there's a end to this night
Because I'm still in this tunnel
And I can't see the light

You can follow my heart
to the end of the skies
and we'll dance around the moon
until the sun is in our eyes

I can smell
each fibre of this moment
The stench of the present
and a linger of the past;
so that when I wake up in the morning
a shadow can be cast

I saw me crying in the mirror
whilst I pulled the paint of the walls
and I won’t ever be forgotten
while I’m running down the halls

I’ll keep swinging from the ceiling
in and out of your dreams
to keep saving you from your nightmares
of our heartbroken themes

do you miss me
alone in your head?
or do you only miss me
alone in your bed?

do you feel me
in the dead of the night?
or does it only hurt you
when you turn on the light?

do you wonder
where I have gone?
or haven't you realised yet
where you went wrong

'suppose none of it matters
and who cares if i'm desired?
turns out brain and heart
have always been hard-wired

tired of the evening
even more so of the night
exhausted from the tears
all the wrongs i could not right

Life through a half glass
Leaves a sweeter taste
Because if I'm not sober
The truth becomes estranged

Draped in all our sheets
we are the purest kind of white
When I'm tucked into your chest
just before the pouring light

The kiss upon my forehead
means a break within the truth
That we are formidably broken;
at our fall, we are uncouth

I'm just a river
That run at unease,
Clouded in the winter;
With a formidable breeze

Jagged at edge;
Just to burst at the seams
I'll sweep you right under
My gathering streams

Sat on the wall
outside Number Eight
where I walk through the fire
just to see heaven's gate

Creek goes the door
I will follow the night
and I'll creep in the stairs
but I won't turn on the light

I raged but I sang
to the moons I thought that we shared
but it was through the haze of the clouds
I could not show you I cared  

And if I could sing you a lullaby
that would make everything right
I’d make a lasso with our wrongs
and I’d pull the moon in tight

Grasping the fabrics
Where I lay down my head
I'm pressed up against
The wall of the bed

There's a fog in my ears
But a warmth there inside
Draped deep within me
Is the place where you hide

You say that I should quit
but I just like the smoke,
because it clouds my vision
and it's because of you I choke.

I heave through every breath  
and you'll never say it's you,
because it's not my lungs;
it's that my heart is breaking too.

If I gave you my tears
Would it prove that I cared?
If I made you some rivers
Would all be declared?

Bottle my tears
Bottle them away
To the back of the shelf
Take them far
Far away

bipolar is looking through the lens
of a Kodak
and seeing only black and white
or the most vibrant colour

take me to the further
down a bottomless pit
to find all the truths
that you cannot admit

or hang me high
above all the lies
then bury my body
where the lonely heart dies

I put my heart
into a box with walls oh-so-paper thin
the day was to be our last
the last time that I touched your skin

And the day before that
you had just called me your next of kin
and so I kept fighting for you in battles
for a ring that I could not win

So I hope it burns through your fingers
and fits like a shoe that is too small
because the ring that you wear  
will never answer to your heart’s call

Our love lost it’s meaning
like the clouds had lost their thunder  
and I no longer served a purpose
because I had long lost my wonder

Although I planted a thousand stars  
into the shadows of your head
you’ve never saw the beauty
in any of the words that I’ve said

I am the sad boy
with shadows beneath my brows
and tears on my chin

I am the sad boy
that was hotter when he was thin

I am the sad boy
who could love a thousand times
but never quite enough
to save his own life

I am the sad boy
who wishes he were dead
with those nasty little voices
calling in his head