I don't remember
all of the night
but I remember our bodies
by a window of starlight

and if by morning
you can remember my name
I'll forget all of the reasons
why we actually came

When your body tries to find me
in the dead of the night
It's like something pulls you closer
and that something keeps us alight

You took all the things
that I made out of nothing
threw them in a fire
but did not remember to set it

Take me back to the lights
To a city that is old
Where I can endlessly wander
Streets laden with gold

I belong to nobody
No one but the night
That's where I fly
Fly high, like a kite

I don't need to feel
To feel I'm alive
I feel the life burning;
Burning inside

I stand against the bar
Where I'm collecting all our dust
Our goodbye's long forgotten
But remain here I must

Strumming at the chords
Of my over-aged heart
You'll find me beneath the orange palm tree's
Where you said I looked smart

do we spend time
        in other peoples beds
        to distract ourselves
        from all the tears
        that we so silently
        shed?

when all's gone to ruin
and all's turned to rust
when there's nothing left
and we're collecting the dust

I've got a war in my head
and there's a war in my heart
torn amongst the sheets
where I'm lost in the dark
so it is the end?
is this the end?

The veins of this town
and the streets of this life
dissolve when I fall
when I finally take flight

I'm tired from the nights
and I'm dead by the day
buried and ready
to float me away

I will rebuild my life
around the stars and the sun
to never be scared
and never to run

you won't ever find me
there in the light
because I'm always hiding
alone in the night

The thing that scares me
is not where I'll be
but what I'll never become
if I don't save me

I was a star in your sky
that refused to get old
then I was the blue on your bread
when you scraped away the mould

After Lewis
Anger raged within me like the seas had just kissed the moon
You sailed on hypothyroid emotions
within the eye of my bipolar brain’s monsoon

After Lewis
We didn’t bother to change a thing
wound each other up like a yo-yo
and we watched each other spin

After Lewis
I was still tired from the mirror
because only now it gave me daily beatings
telling me I needed to be thinner

And it was only after Lewis
that I realised it was too late
I had done too much damage
and caused you too much heartache

the longing is here
it passed through my veins
it bruised all my insides
and it longs for a change

dishes fly across the kitchen
food climbs the walls that I want to escape
a beer scented storm screams into my baby face
as my mouth is closed from fear and not tape

my body is frozen in statue
just an inanimate object with a beating heart
lost property of my father
as I am torn gently apart

hands on my skin
my eyes glued to the hands of the clock

i wish they’d made me a body

a body

with a lock