I keep on asking myself “what is wrong with me?” I always feel restless, incomplete, a puzzle almost complete with its picture but missing a piece. I know no one would ever fully understand anyone, but why do I feel like I know myself too much to the extent that I know any moment from now I’ll trip. I’ll mess it all up.
A day after I turned 22, I messed it up with us. It didn’t come out of a blue, we both knew it was coming. I couldn’t stop it, God knows I tried. I tried stopping it, and just tried to be oblivious to the idea that it’s not working out. Sometimes, I believe that, but today I guess I tried but refused somewhere in the line. I was constantly bothered by not being worried about how I’d make you feel. I was constantly hating your every story, impatiently waiting for the day to end so I can tell you I have to sleep ahead of you. From the beginning, I was never scared that you might do something that would hurt me too much. I trusted you, too much that I didn’t have anything left to trust myself. I expected it, I was waiting for me to fail – BIG TIME.
You are my home. You kept me warm after a long day of talking to cold hearts. We go places only you and I could imagine. You tuck me in every single night on that imaginary bunk bed of ours, wrapped with comfy. You take my weights very lightly, and I take yours as I mine.

-not finished-

There is something about your smile
That makes my what ifs embrace the now
I'm sure I could go an extra mile
To reach that line and hear you sigh

That caress and innocent touch
Turns that day to instant wonder
When you're down I will be there
To fill that empty heart with glare

Oh darling I never want to have some buts
And all these doubts should be ignored
But I can never ease the thought
That there will come a day we'll get low

Slow nor fast will never be a bargain
If this goes on I am not certain
Can you give me more than just that touch
Come with me and fight it all

Darling,
I never want that goodbye kiss

You're that geek who talk about games all day,
of new features, and science discoveries.
I'm the kind who cries over missed events,
Envy too much about new lines and  styles

I burst of laughter after that random update
Your support filled as I start something new
Somewhere in between I know we'll always meet
I play no games but I think that's good

They may think I'm not right for you
And that you're out of your **** mind to slay 'em all for me
But you're there anyway
Doing the best you can

For all it's worth I want you to know,
They know nothing my dear
For I may not have the words,
But I wont love second rate in this world

Yesterday was a fine day,
So sunny I felt funny.
So absorbed,
you called,
went inside,
And filled the room with butterflies

Today the weather's the same,
coming here felt different.
But going inside the room,
Your embrace from yesterday welcomed me
Filled not just the room with butterflies,
but me, with good warmth.

You said it's okay
But it hurts me thinking that I made you feel down this very moment
I wanted this, and I know I can
But I wouldn't, and I don't know why
I trust you
But I'm afraid I'll trust you too much I'll lose you again
I trust you, but I don't trust me.

Today, I wake up feeling okay
But this feeling is not as good
As when I wake up from a nightmare
Or from an empty dream
Today, I wake up  feeling alright
But a pillow filled with tears is better than alright
I'd rather cry at night
And be wrapped by your arms
be cuddled by your warm embrace
Today, I am feeling okay
But days with you are better than today