I'm starting to question every thought I ever had
every reason for feeling sad
every dream dissolved
every story I ever told
as reality does not live in the mind
but with everything that passes our eyes
so stay focused
don't pay attention to the lies
for in my head I've lived a thousand lives
but in reality I've never touched the sky
not walked on the moon
never had a bride
never been the groom.

We had fun you and I
at least within my mind
been dreaming since I was a kid
of things that I never quite did
never once kissed your lips
nor smelt your sweet perfume
though those memories still exist
the truth is you left to soon
you only live in my imagination
a perfect mix of my creation
loving, kind and gentle
whispers sentimental.

So the question I ask;
do I keep you close in dreams?
- where our love will forever last
**or face the whaling screams
of a broken heart.

Love is everything you can think of and more
Love should never be boring or a chore
Love is about putting someone else first
Love is about accepting them at their worst
Love is no longer sleeping alone in the dark
Love is having somewhere for your ***** to park
Love is finishing each others sentences
Love is knowing another's tendencies
Love is about not forcing issues and lying
Love is holding the tissues whilst she's crying
Love is always trusting and never jealous
Love is regular *** baby!, woohoo!, hell yes!!
Love is having to watch ******* movies
Love is about reassurances like you'll never loose me
Love is knowing when to talk and when to remain silent
Love is closing the toilet seat, that extra kindness
Love is defending her every flaw
Love is spending time with the in-laws
Love is about sharing everything
Love is buying that eternal ring
Love is accepting she's always right
"I love you" is a quick way to end a fight
Love is about that special kiss
Love is saying "no your *** does not look big in this"
Love is daring to eat her meals
Love is about caring how she feel
Which brings me to the age old question
"Is this really love or just indigestion?"

Just turned sixteen
a rage of hormones
erogenous zones
no more sexting
or wet dreams
your sixteen
you have our permission
to give in to your impulses
full submission
your pulse races
no more wishing
release your inhibitions
but before you do hold up and listen.

You can't drink and drive
yet you can think of life
for now any thought you conceive
can legally achieve
a new life you can breed
Should anyone so young have this much power?
to class it as fun and be deflowered
just because you can attain an *******
stand to attention
gives you the right to create perfection?
- when love isn't even mentioned.

Should we raise the age limit?
Would teenage pregnancies plummet?
but you say
they will still do it anyway
regardless
they couldn't care less
do you blame parents?
- or carers?
Maybe we need
a better educational system
to teach them.

It’s the media that feeds
into the body image
a consistent mirage
a constant barrage
of so called celebrities
having *** on TV
With the skinny waist
fake *****
and high heels
what a waste,
you choose
how you feel.

Take time to pause
and hold onto what’s yours
for once lost
you will pay its cost
your virginity
is its own currency
people will value you more
or label you a *****
a ****, a slapper
a used ****** wrapper
go ahead tap her
she doesn't care
what you wear
or if you marry
take her cherry.

Just because it has a secondary function
doesn't mean you have to use your junk son.
the next time you get an *******
steer your mind in another direction
or at least use protection
so you don't spread STD's by infection
having *** so young can be tragic
take the time to think
or you may later regret it.

Don't give into peer pressure
Don’t use others as your measure
have *** at your leisure
when its your pleasure
when you're ready
not just because you've been going steady
protect your innocence
remain a princess
pretty in pink
abhor red
so think first
before bed.

I have reached an impasse
on life's path
an immovable mass
I'm standing still whilst people are running past
if this was a race I would already be last
I cannot force myself to go on any more
and yet cannot return the way I came
as my feet are rooted to the floor
so I just remain the same.

Feels like I'm on a stage
re-enacting the same scene
when I just want to turn the page
it should be over
has been
and gone
like a worn out song
that goes on and on
stuck on repeat
the same old beat
same moves
same shuffle of feet.

Caught between a rock and a hard place
stalled in life's race
travelling at a snails pace
at twenty nine
it's hard to define
why I still have this childish mentality
at some point I must face reality
yet I cannot go forward
because of a mental block
so things remain awkward
and now I have stopped.

I tried to let you go so many times
but your very existence is woven into mine
you are written between every line
will I ever find all the words to explain
this sensation called love by any other name
I love video games and chocolate
and other miscellaneous objects
but what I really love is none of these things
when I compare them to you
for everything else pales in comparison
like seeing the world all a new
you have become the light to my eye
the sun that shines through darkened sky
the very life that will never die
you are the breath in my lungs
what's left of my song.

In reality this poem is just a mirage
an illusion  of what really is
for what is can never be imagined
it can't be captured by a thought
or ever held in just a feeling.
What really is
what you are
is love.

So I can never let you go
as I never had you to begin with
you were my illusion
because you are love
you left me as confusion
because you are love
you are a paradox
we are a pair of socks
but one is missing
I am the odd sock
this is the unsolvable riddle
the one that will always get lost
a maze that starts and ends in the middle.
*This is love.
God is love.
You are love.
I am love.
We are love.

I am a soldier of fortune
but my fortune is not ruin
or even gold
it's life that I hold
in my hands
as a soldier of God
I stand before you
to reveal man's duplicity
of our so called democracy's
the elected officials
yet the only thing official
is there are so many issues
with man-made governments
so many wars
and so much poverty
another lost cause
for all to see.

I have no allegiance to parliaments
and presidents
or the flags they fly
***** rags soaked in the blood of those who've died
and the tears of families left behind who cry
my only loyalty is to God and his theocracy
to expose mankind's hypocrisy
how nation rise up against nation
and man against man
for God is our only salvation
how do you not understand?
I do not need a sword and a shield
as Gods word is more powerful then anything you could wield
It has the ability to change minds
and to save lives
the ability to expose true intentions
and dispose of Satan's inventions.

Satan's sinister ploy
to cause havoc and destroy
the lives of many
that follow his worldly governments
enticed by riches of plenty
for his entertainment
like puppets on a string
they do no thinking
just further sinking
into depravity
lets pray its over soon
that God ends their blasphemy
and brings them to ruin
so I no longer have to be
a Soldier of Fortune.

I've seen it you know
the real you
I've witnessed the glow
that shines through
like sunlight
past cracked curtains
so bright
but not so certain
like a wounded bird
held tightly by God's word
I've seen your heart beat
so fast beneath the sheets
the emotions that you hide
tears like oceans, blue inside.

I told you before
that it's what you don't say
when I learn more
how you really are
not another distant star
in the nights sky
but someone real
that makes me cry
I don't mind still climbing
or waiting
for my destination
your affection
because I've seen the light
at the end of the tunnel
and its pure white perfection
As long as I see that light within
things will be all-right and I can grin
for I no longer have to give in.

Even though you try to keep it hidden
you can't stop the light
to which I am smitten
as its in plain sight
and I have been stricken.
A moment in your company
is worth a million elsewhere
if only you were next to me
then I wouldn't have a care.
In some ways you already are
that even though you're so far away
your forever here to stay
in my heart.

You thought you reached the final stage
but I know there's at least another page
which is yet unwritten
call it a dream or vision
but I know
because I've seen the real you
the one that glows.