Always thinking
what am I thinking?
lets start writing
should be sleeping
why am I thinking?
I need to sleep now
bored of sheep, lets try cows
maybe I should count the spots
or connect the dots
of my thoughts....

Dalmatians are the cow canine
ten, eleven, twelve
deeper I delve
sleeper I'm not
wide awake, no
half baked dough
money makes the world go round
funny how it doesn't make a sound
yet people are so loud
it's not needed
nod your head when greeted
nod your head when agreeing
or leaving, deceiving, grieving
maybe thats bowing
bow your head when grieving
Robin Hood had merry men
and they were thieving
still need to be sleeping
dreaming........

If only I could dream of you
as we sail the ocean blue
you would get sea sick
and I would drown quick
this is how my dreams end
much like our relationship
conscious thoughts
maligned with nonsense fraughts
I fraught of you today
tonight, this night
every night
you my light
my darkness
my rainbow
tied around your neck
so delicate
a pretty little thing
no tongue ring yet
butterflies
toast lands sunny side
glass half empty
I'm half fool
a joker in the pack
Batman that's a fact
I only come out at night
your caped crusader
I tried to save her
but the current dragged her under
she now resides in the depths of my mind
a shipwreck
my Mary Rose
how I loved your eyes and nose
and everything attached
did I remember to put the door on the latch?
turn off the oven
come give me loving
and affection
Marvin Gaye, Joan Armatrading
sing to me so I can sleep
sheep, cow, dalmatian, sheep..........

Back and forth it goes around the room
been here all day and now its noon
just me and my homies laid back, relaxing
each one of us lyrically waxing
as we take turns to do a line
heads down to the grind
eyes are looking a little puffy
**** this work makes you hungry
got me some major munchies
as I grab another pretzel
writing poetry with a blunt pencil.

We are all following footsteps in the dirt
all hiding from the hurt
just running scared
they told us to be prepared
but prepared for what?

How can you prepare for the unknown?
for who knows what grows from the seeds we sow
the future is uncertainty
when dealing with reality
all plans are futility
as we free-fall to gravity
through the clouds
its all just sights and sounds.

Beyond every horror and darkened room
just round the corner death does loom
but death is nothing, what ceases to exist
how can you be scared of nothing, why do you resist?
One day those footsteps will suddenly end
and there will be no reason left to pretend
in that moment it will all be clear
that the footsteps you were following was actually fear.

I am a born writer
a worn out fighter
constantly battling my demons
frequently finding the reasons
to creep on going
to keep on flowing
29th round
and the sleeps now showing.

A persistent tiredness
an insistent wired finesse
Standing here battered and bruised
feeling shattered and used
a product of my stress.

A demons play thing
seasoned in the ring
resting on the ropes
jesting at my hopes
now running on reserve
dulling every nerve.
So I no longer can feel
the pain of my ordeal.

As my body aches
with signs of cramp
another blow he takes
its not over champ!
More blows sorely landing
it shows I'm barely standing
shaken and stunned.
Ding! Ding!
another round done.

As vultures start to circle like flies
she stares into a dying mans eyes
his vision blurred, eyes swollen and glazed
any memories left have already hazed
he opens his mouth as if to speak
she leans in close and touches his cheek.

"Now i'm at my journeys end
no lover left for me to tend
a broken heart that will not mend"
--"no next of kin all alone
just worn out skin and dried up bone
all thats left has turned to stone"

She grasps his hand to her chest
knowing its his final rest
she squeezes it oh so tight
with all her strength and all her might
--just before the old man dies
"i am your lover" she replies

"I've been by your side for 60 years
i've shared your laughter and eased your fears
i gave you water and ceased your tears"
--"and listened to every word you said
washed your clothes, bathed and fed
now i sit beside your bed"

As he slowly turns his head
tears are falling eyes are red
one final look of recognition
as she adjusts his position
that single thought sums up their lives
as they say a final goodbye.

I see ghosts everywhere
but only when my eyes are closed
too long at them I do stare
for it's them I fear the most.

A lingering foreboding
a heightened sixth sense
my confidence eroding
these feelings so intense.

It's time to bury my ghosts
for them to haunt elsewhere
no longer will I be the host
no longer will they scare.

I will exorcise my demons
I will exorcise my fears
now I can start dreaming
no more nightmares.

Real beauty only lasts a while
like a fading sunset
or your smile
like a flower at full bloom
or changing seasons
it's gone too soon.
Such beauty cannot be captured by words
no sound can be uttered not a syllable heard
so I sit in deathly silence
and admire the view
something so timeless
as I look at you.

Like that flower
you stand alone in a field
supported by God's power
to which you yield
I dare not pick you
as you will only wither
so I must wait and watch
whilst you dither.

I'm glad I witnessed
something so beautiful
my life has been blessed
you do not need a mirror
for the only thing that reflects
your beauty is the heavens
something so perfect
I have been in its presence.
Gods own creation
such unknown perfection.

Like the changing season
you pass without reason
no explanation
just fade like our relation.
Please bring back your summer sun
so I can bask in your glow
from heavenwards above
just tell me why you had to go
and leave without my love.
If you are the sun then I am the moon
never to meet and gone too soon.

Although I don't want to see you go
deep down I already know
so I just admire you from afar
like another shooting star
so beautiful in the nights sky
you have my attention
you've caught my eye
I look in your direction
but you fade and die.