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It's all gone out of me, the hammer falls and I'm not ready to answer
Trembling, weakness supporting a tub of jelly
The pollen-filled air flies past like the
Pelicans at the edge of the harbor
Taking us gliding for an unpleasant ride
Down the corridors of plastic colors
Through the one word answers that bubble forth from
10,000 years away in hyperspace
Where the mechanisms of language become so convoluted
That they disappear completely out at the vanishing point
Coming up behind you again to drag you into that smoky allure
You remember hating and pinching your nose from
And hiding in the car, but the new fear is of becoming addicted to it
Just like your addiction to ego games and
Intellect, just like your addiction to pleasure and constant validation

The validation's there in the eternal self, they say
But I'm an intellectual
Too impatient for meditation
And lost along the way to enlightenment
That I truly want,
But then I'll never have it if I continue to live this way

It's wilderness calling from a tame fool
Sticking up for you the overgrown horoscope signifies
The shapes of skydives,
He comes in and out of our dull lives
And there's an electric current that solidifies between
Him, Us, and his music
Iron rods jutting up from scorched earth
A broken paradise
Crumbling in a whisky tumbler
Blackened by fiber filters, creations
Unlocked by flowing ontological
Caricatures, open wounds gnashing
At attention-seeking osteopaths
Fortune seekers clamber down
Soccer field bleachers,
Somebody lost his sneakers in the woods
Once there was a set of barbells along the trail
We fell in line and started
Counting each other
One by one it seemed like the green apples would never fall
It was up to us to wait for the shower
It would feed our kin
We'd begin to rise up together
But it could never keep up with our pen
We wanted the ghosts to follow us and overtake our mortal foes
But we couldn't command the armies of the dead
We derive all our pleasures from films and campfire stories
We contrive our adventures but we wait for them to happen to us
We take a passive role in finding love
And it blinks lights at us across suburban streets through windows in the dark
The mind begins to writhe with new memories it composed of old
An idealized time of a child with the perverse mind
Of a hogtied adolescent
Guessing that the course of existence
Isn't determined by the speed of your calculations
Testing the warm water on a naked toe
We could dive in and forget to breathe
And the water could carry us forever
Alleviating gravity
All the obstacles we perceived in past lives
Remain with us like
Chimney swifts on the bottomless April days of a
Klu Klux **** telephone operator
Who believed in the spirit and the holy ghost
And burned a quiet altar to Satan's minions every Sunday night
Drinking nail polish and
Obscure references to the films of the
Ancient Greek philosophers, who
Saw the medium as a means to a message
And patronized the elitest filmmakers to study the ancient Runes
And reveal their findings to a power-hungry public
That would not outright reject it
But that would have to follow it down the rabbit hole
Through the wide mouth of the trumpet around brass fixtures
And into the tight hot moist mouth of the trumpeter
And the elemental warriors would strike oil beneath the whole affair
Ending the time we spent hoping for any entertainment to create itself before our barren psyches
Busying ourselves with incomprehensible tasks and letting our indolence take the reins until we found our heads again out there amid the vapors of
New car chem trails and old railroad bunkers where spruce and cedar grow through cement earth, they force apart the ground with just their roots

We weren't ready to keep watch the following weekend but we
Had no choice when the government bond expired
And we had only technological solutions left to hope for
And wrongly we abandoned our research posts to fight the enemies
With giant weapons and uncreative slogans
Our drummers played so fast we marched along and killed all that remained in record doubletime
Rendering the events of that victorious day immortal in the ingenious accounts of
Philosopher/poet/historian Michael Jackson
Who gave one final performance
To save himself from what must not be
 Apr 2013 Sasha Scarr
st64
1.
This century
His end may not make the news
Nor for this year
Nor this month.



2.
But for this day
His end would make serious dent
As he holds her hand
To weather this storm.



3.
Yes, on their knees, they sob
For 'tis not only his end
Which would mark heavy plight
Three felt it in this sad twist.



4.
Beautiful burden....
Gone for good.
Tears bring back nought:
They both lost out....this day.



S T, 12 April 2013
Title is deliberately awkward.

Two people in suffering, yet grow ever closer......having gone through a (late) spontaneous abortion.
 Apr 2013 Sasha Scarr
Anai Munoz
For once
Lets just pretend
This puppy love
Is real
 Apr 2013 Sasha Scarr
Evynne
I am holding the universe
Grasping it
Digging my fingers into its very core
I feel the passion building up within me
Stronger and stronger
Until finally I feel it alive and growing inside of me
Running across my bones
Pumping through my veins
Fluttering around in my stomach
I feel all of the secrets that lie within the earth
And my emptiness has seemingly been filled up
And I feel new and whole and blissful

The waiting and the aching have subsided
And I feel bright inside
Illuminated and full of a soaring luster
Like the moonlight is splashing around inside of me
The dark desire and the sadness that once existed and thrived outside of my dreams is now absent
And I realize that I hold a myriad of universes within me
That I always have
But I am universes coexisting within a Great Universe
I am nature, I am energy, I am light
I am the sun and the moon
The stars
I am compiled of stardust and the cosmos
I am a secret soothing sea of soft reflections
And golden comfort
Tingling magnitude
I feel the wind quietly caress my young and forgotten face
As I lay in the green of the grass and the trees with their fluttering leaves
In the comfort of the sun beating down
Warm and strong
On my flesh
I am a blessing to the Great Universe
As it is a blessing to me

My heart doesn't ache that certain ache
I have learned to accept the darkness within me as something beautiful
As a symbol of my strength and all that I have endured
My deepest, darkest secret is quiet and rests easier within me
It no longer pokes and prods at me
A pressure has been lifted from my chest and I am tingling from the inside out
The idea of being forgotten no longer hurts
And my heart beats harder, with more fervor
It feels strong and smooth
Like the ocean's waves
So strong and powerful but so warm and inviting
Soothing
I can breathe again
Almost effortlessly
And it is easy to smile
The calmly spoken conversations of the universe with the earth and its sun and moon echo lovingly within me
I imagine they are touching me gently
Constantly aware of my presence
Running their fingers through my hair
Instilling hope and emitting deserving rays of insight and beauty and knowledge
I feel small but I feel safe
And there is now an ease with tolerating reality
For instead, I live in the stars, my lifetime companions
And the branches of the trees
The whisper of the wind
The warmth of the sun
The wisdom of the moon
The nourishment of the soil

I can feel within my stomach the beaming phrases
Igniting my mind gracefully as I embrace every single sound
I breathe in deeply as the universe kisses me gently
Possessing warm company
Emitting newborn intervals of flare, vigor, and understanding
I have found rapture and euphoria
And all the while it was residing within me
I was just searching for it in all the wrong places

I have been presented with a new perspective
And I now exist within a dimension
I have only ever been able to dream about
See that star...

that's me

keeping watch
over you

constantly.
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