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 Mar 2013 Theodore C Sherman
Mia
I feel really stupid
For loving you without reservations.
I feel duped somehow.
For believing you were the one.
Every girl dreams of meeting him,
I thought i was lucky.
I never expected to end up broken
Beating myself up over the years wasted.
Greys and pastels by your side
Making you happy.
There must be something messed up with me
Why couldn't i be content with bits and pieces?
Instead i wanted all of it
Unending forever together.
Joke's on me,
It really is over.
 Mar 2013 Theodore C Sherman
Mia
Dear Emmeline
I am writing to you from a hole,
from a place carved into cave
Sinking into an irredeemable apathy
into a very sickly depression.
I am asking for a hand, for this:
Reach for me,from this deep pit.

Edgar dear,
I am searching all the crevices i know.
Could this be the depression
That snatches unsuspecting souls?
And keeps for itself so it doesn't have to be alone?
I will not rest until i retrieve your troubled mind,
From it's depths and darkness.
Wrote this as a two handed poem with my friend Edgar
 Mar 2013 Theodore C Sherman
Mia
I tried to love you
With every bit of my soul.
But it wasn't enough, i wasn't.
I gave you glimpses of me
The me i kept locked away from everyone else
Vulnerable, broken, needy.
You simply turned and walked away
And like a broken clock am stuck on you.
Your face and smile
Your warm embrace.
You cut me to pieces with your indifference
And still i yearn for you.
Sometimes I think
I must be done with singing,
singing you this rich song,
this song of what
the poets call love unbound
(unhinged more like
as it brings me apart
at the seams) and there,
in an undressed state, it
blows through me and I know
I am neither myself nor
what I might recognize
as myself : instead this solitary man
waiting on her next word,
her favoured look, a light
touch to the shoulder,
which says there is this
flowing between us, a passion
for that detail, those small things
able to make big things possible,
obtainable.

And so this singing can never be done
because it can only be like this now,
never done with, always more waiting
as for a future wind, no matter how well
it might be forecast, we’ll rediscover it
afresh and laugh and smile bigger
smiles than we did at its first breath.

This is what love does to friendship
and the knowledge of the other,
always more to learn,
always more to see and know,
a cascade, yes a cascading
from one to the other
as sand in the hand
to a lower hand
and then reversed.
And so what we see
as morning greets us
severally, but so often apart
and from different windows,
is a coming together
in a joined thought – our morning
is this, or this, or this even.
and so we hold morningness
out to each other like the gift it is,
until later when, reassured that
we are really, really
in each other’s arms,
we feel the truth of it
deep in ourselves.
you told me to stop chasing,
but you didn't say to give up.
since then i have stopped
clawing my way through the galaxies
to get to you--

instead, i hooked myself to the last star
you painted your name on
(and i will never stop waiting there
for you to return).
sometimes i like to pretend
that if you had bound books
in some life before this,
i was the story
you (again and again)
continued to stitch.

and when i was finished,
you would brush my spine softly
then unravel me,
just to piece me
back together again.
i'm not good at emotions
she says she loves him to
p  i  e  c  e  s
but she won't admit
she's too scared to
put him back
together
again
.
i don't even know.  i don't believe in love right now.
I have too many dreams
So many aspirations that even thinking about them makes me tired
Weighed down by the possibility of success

And I wait
And hope someday I’ll feel strong enough to begin
But I think this rest period
Has only made me more tired

I want to fall into love
I want to make my own family
Little smiles for me
I want to be a writer
I want to finish school
Be successful
I want to paint.
I want to see the world.
And so many other moments I can see inside my head

But I wait for the moment I get whisked over the rainbow
When in all reality
I could fly away if I was brave enough
I have not edited this poem yet. These are just rough thoughts that might form a real poem someday.
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