monsters exist
but only in my head
smetimes they appear in my dreams
but the scenes last only a split second

i've been drinking too much caffeine
and driving myself a little insane;
i've been listening to sad records and wishing in vain,

and i've been trying, trying, trying
but all i've done is cry
and i've been doing my best fixing up holes in my soul
but still my passions leak - out they go and disappear

it's been a strange year

Rilke said you go through important changes while you're sad
i hope so, i hope he's right
because i've been sad for a long time
and i'm starting to think this isn't worth it

if someone loves me, won't they tell me?
won't you tell me before i shut off completely?

You cut the barrier down
You came crashed through my walls again
Screaming secrets through the code of men

This time you went straight for the scars
Every word digs deeper
Forcing me weaker
Your my grim reaper

When I look to the sky
These angels pity flow through the stars
They stay locked behind cold bars

I hold my tongue behind my teeth
How much more could your anger seep?
My heart cracks and tears before I sleep
Falling deaf as my soul weeps

Yet you walk away unharmed
Keeping me torn and fully alarmed
Spitting out dust to make me choke
Taking more from me? I'm broke

I've been crushed

Again failing to hold the truth
That you kept from me in youth

Now that you've had your fun
Leave me alone
What's done is done
It's a nightmare to be your son

naked were we,
naked in the water, in the moonlight, in our minds.
stuck together, so far apart.
drifting, we are drifting, we are sailing,
human bodies, sails,
floating, reaching, preaching, screeching.
morning souls,
flailing, wailing, ailing.

i wish we were magnets, so id never be lost outside of you

I don’t write to which conveys into a story;
I write to what captures an emotion,
a feeling.

I'm not exactly a poet or writer,
yet somewhere in between the two.

I feel unique and fiery,
under the cool, blue moon,
and salted and peppered under the dry, hot sun.

Fueled with anger, all my writing needs.
A new exploration through the journey unknown,
using awkward wording, unlike graceful butterflies.

I'm okay with myself when shielded from the rest.

Your heels quiver and arms shake,
akimbo moving slowly between motion and motion.
He sits in your arms shivering, sighing and
for this one moment swears you are his.

It's decided, you're both in love, soul
mates:  meant for each other. But listen,
When passion fades and thoughts remain, bear this in mind, dear:
At least one of you are lying.

I want to see this maybe live or die
But I fear I haven't the time
Why don't you look upon me like you once did ?
I know the winter winds will ******* away
Away from the stressed and dressed up wood that is your house
And even the finest cup of tea can't relax me
Lavender and hibiscus or not
Pardon me and ill attempt to erase your thought
In My mind, ill save it for another time,
When the sun and stars properly align an the moon shows your nocturnal feathers, and the skin you keep, let your hibiscus hair and your rose hips steep
Only for a minute or else youll burn
Like white tea in a summer sun light
So hold your body still, so I can take a photograph inside my mind, of how tall and wonderful you are,
Can you glide now like you know how
Do this for me please, and then I suppose I can leave you be, as you once were,
Wrapped in regret,
But ill never forget,
Your lips upon your perfect face

Amidst the dense,
Mouthing names,
When you grieve,
When you celebrate,
Names whispered to oneself,
You miss them,
Everyone does.
Immortal within.
Unspoken.

"Lets make a deal",
I said to you,

"That I'll miss you,
When you're not around",
I hoped you'll miss me too,

"It would be nice
To have you around,
Time and again",
Truthfully I wished forever,

"Everyday, even if
It is right at the end,
I want to hear all about yours,
So I don't miss a thing",
And may be you'll want to hear about mine,

"I know I can't protect you,
The world is too big,
But I can be there
To unburden your thoughts,
To ease the pain",
When you smile everything is right,

"You don't want the world
At your feet, I can live
With giving you my best,
In this incompleteness
You are my missing truth,
There, I said the obvious",
Does it scare you?

"In return of your side
Of the deal, I promise
For as long as I live,
I will love you,
All things in the world,
Cannot compare to when I can say,
I'm yours",
Yours to keep