i know

all
of the pain
i caused

the choices
i stole
from you

i
feel it
now
with you

your cries
of pain,
heartbreak
are almost
too much
to bear

and now i know
how
i wronged you
and
now

it’s too late

i’m sorry
but it’s too late

you know
the limitations
you see
in your life
are created
by
you

i hope
you're alive
and happy
and better
without
me

i felt you
last night

your touch
calmed
me

there's no void
or self pity
no yearns
or regrets

the most
authentic
path
answers to
no one
other than
the one

i felt
full (filled)
until it
drained
out of me
slowly
peacefully
yet grimly

it's
colder
now

oh, you.

you.

i'll never be mad
at you.

i know
you see me

love me

trying to
figure out

why you
fear
me

i know
you
were here

i can't prove it
but
i felt you
near

today
i am full
of love

i can feel
it
overflowing

let me
share
with you

imagining
something new
something wonderful
something with you

and
one day

maybe

it’ll be true

it hurts
seeing you
become better
for
someone else

it was
never
me

it was
never
meant
to be

how can i have
made this vow
that
(supposedly)
lasts a lifetime

yet

i had no idea
what i was
agreeing to

begging
for a release

when

all i have to do
is
take the first step

closed eyes
my paradise

visions
come true

of

me
and
you

tonight
only you
will
do

my three loves

you all indulge

my past
my present
and
my future

you each
fill
a different
piece of my heart

yet
you each
consume
all of
me

not the me
who
is no longer
me

i love you
all
equally

did you ever
fall in love
when
you weren’t
supposed to?

conditioned fear
keeps us
in the cage

where
did you find
the strength
and
can you share it
with me?

my heart is
a full moon

can you feel me
shining
on you?

stayed in bed
longer
this morning
to savor
my daydreams
of you

reaching
for you

in focus
and out

your closeness
fleeting

hearts
bleeding

my
vanishing man

without your voice
i hear you

without your presence
i feel you

in dreams
i see you

and
one day
i will
have
you

poisoned
by my own mind

i never even tried
to make you mine

did i
come to my senses
too late?

i've now
realized the fear
of every newlywed

because

now i know
i married
the wrong person

how can
one person
break one heart
this many times

your insult
today
stoked my core

evoking
anger
guilt
indignation

sadness

separation

the ringing
of my anger

can't be dampened
other than
with time

like
sound waves
spreading
dissolving

one day
i'll be
ok

i hate you
for how you make me feel
and for
how you
don’t see me
at all

everyone
i thought i had
are now gone

hopes
drooping
lonely
veil

freedom
feels empty
when i hold it
in my hands

and i know
tomorrow
my anger
will recede
leaving only regret

and
it's really
the worst

feels like
my head
keeps slipping down
beneath the water

swallowed
by the void

with every whispered word
every glance

you transform me

i am watching myself
bloom

i am
your flower

we are wavering
daily
between love and hate

how can these things
transform
into one another
with such ease?

not sure
how much more
my heart can take

the anger
turned heavy

this morning
waves
of sadness

are drowning me

i know i lied

but
so
did
you

(now i know)

and you tried
to make me
the villain

so
****
you

i'm cheating
on you
you're cheating
on me

what
a
coincidence

did we just
agree?

i want
your actions
to fulfill
my dreams

a love too big
to understand

a life too short
to embrace

my patience too thin
to wait

over time
your touch
became
my enemy

over time
my love
became
despair

i like flipping tables
and
i know you do, too

but
do me a favor
and don't flip ours

oh, how quickly
hope wanes
replaced immediately
by
bitter
doubt

memories
and
daydreams

both like smoke
elusive
and fading

my heart
always grasping
for more

will our story
be told
in a dream
or a future memory?

is one
more real
than the other?

i'm searching
aimlessly
even though
i know where
to find
you

i did everything
for you
so now
i don’t know me

my feelings
of despair
muted
pint after pint