and one day
she will realize

her magic

and then
her power
will be

limitless

freedom
like
smoke

a connection
erased

layers
on top

rules
you
made up

just
throw
it
away

the bottom
dropped out

but
in
the best way
possible

like
when
the dam
breaks

the goodness
is flowing
into
my
open
arms

of course
i did

and

of course
i always
will

destined
for
wheel spinning
and
second guessing
what i said
and
awkwardly
ghosting
everyone

once they came
the flowing tears
covered all of me

they would not stop

mourning

burying you

my
little
world

is a deep
chasm

dive
to the bottom
with me

i don't
care
if
we crash

timing is
never wrong

just have to
figure out
why
it's right

unexplained
magnetism

the joy
in possibility

freedom
of the future

more
moments with you

soon

your face
against mine
heart races
faster than my mind

beautiful you

an easy kiss
a hard goodbye

i guess
i'll keep looking
for you-shaped things
to fill this you-shaped hole

but

heart
knows
the truth

that

i'll never find
another
you

this
immense love
burns only for you

is also
the reason why
i have to
say
goodbye

if
you're not
going to jump
into the fire
with me

if
you don't feel
this burning

if
it doesn't eat you up

if
i'm not enough


then
please
go
away

should i feel special
because of your attention?

should i feel special
because you said you care?

should i feel special
because of your words?

because they are

words

and
nothing more

sad truths
waiting
in plain sight

finally
sink in

words
are
just
words

you aren't
here.

so

i don't
care.

i don't think i can do this.

deep breaths.

he's making it hard not to hate him
he doesn't even see me
he is a stranger now
his eyes are dead

deep breaths.

he makes me
scream
cry
hate

he is turning me
against myself

deep breaths.

i can get through
i can resist
i can keep aiming high

i can achieve
my happiness

deep breaths.

how many times
are you
going to leave

without
saying
goodbye?

my heart,
now full
of hate,
needs somewhere
to release

because
even though
you
****
i don’t want
to hate you

and
i can’t
keep it
inside

like
i used to

getting here
took
forever

but now
things are moving
too
fast

the path
to freedom
is
on fire

i know

all
of the pain
i caused

the choices
i stole
from you

i
feel it
now
with you

your cries
of pain,
heartbreak
are almost
too much
to bear

and now i know
how
i wronged you
and
now

it’s too late

i’m sorry
but it’s too late

you know
the limitations
you see
in your life
are created
by
you

i hope
you're alive
and happy
and better
without
me

i felt you
last night

your touch
calmed
me

there's no void
or self pity
no yearns
or regrets

the most
authentic
path
answers to
no one
other than
the one

i felt
full (filled)
until it
drained
out of me
slowly
peacefully
yet grimly

it's
colder
now

oh, you.

you.

i'll never be mad
at you.

i know
you see me

love me

trying to
figure out

why you
fear
me

i know
you
were here

i can't prove it
but
i felt you
near

today
i am full
of love

i can feel
it
overflowing

let me
share
with you

imagining
something new
something wonderful
something with you

and
one day

maybe

it’ll be true

it hurts
seeing you
become better
for
someone else

it was
never
me

it was
never
meant
to be

how can i have
made this vow
that
(supposedly)
lasts a lifetime

yet

i had no idea
what i was
agreeing to

begging
for a release

when

all i have to do
is
take the first step

closed eyes
my paradise

visions
come true

of

me
and
you

tonight
only you
will
do

my three loves

you all indulge

my past
my present
and
my future

you each
fill
a different
piece of my heart

yet
you each
consume
all of
me

not the me
who
is no longer
me

i love you
all
equally

did you ever
fall in love
when
you weren’t
supposed to?

conditioned fear
keeps us
in the cage

where
did you find
the strength
and
can you share it
with me?

my heart is
a full moon

can you feel me
shining
on you?

stayed in bed
longer
this morning
to savor
my daydreams
of you

reaching
for you

in focus
and out

your closeness
fleeting

hearts
bleeding

my
vanishing man

without your voice
i hear you

without your presence
i feel you

in dreams
i see you

and
one day
i will
have
you

poisoned
by my own mind

i never even tried
to make you mine

did i
come to my senses
too late?

i've now
realized the fear
of every newlywed

because

now i know
i married
the wrong person

how can
one person
break one heart
this many times