It’s a place filled with joy and peace

Where it’s safe to just be, and no reason to fear

Where skies are usually blue, but can get gray and stormy sometimes

But no matter what, the smile never wanes

Faith keeps it going – it survives on mere belief

A place that most usually long for, and spend ages searching desperately for

Where the mind can forever stay calm

For me, that place I find in you

And whenever I think of you, I can’t help but feel

That here is where the heart is

- http://ashez1607.wordpress.com

Our eyes slowly merging
I can feel the gravity pulling
Until they connect
Like two puzzle pieces, they click

I have always been a ball of energy
Making it my business to touch the sky
And spread the sunshine
But when the light transcends
Through the mosaic pieces of our irises
The energies travel through straight tunnels
That merge into one
As the puzzle of our eyes interlock
And now I know
We are both made of the same
Sunlit soul

Like the rise of the sun in the morning sky
You have lifted me up and I feel so high
My heart pulses like the flapping wings of a bird
As I soar through the sunrise
Composed of pastel green, pink, purple, and blue
The tranquil feeling of these colors
Overwhelms me when I’m with you

Three seconds have passed while our eyes have been locked
But time is relative
And with you only the extraordinary exists
Our energies combined create an intensity
That while I can’t resist
Feels quite perilous

The sheet touches our skin
Like the light fluffy cloud we’re in
Now in second four
A smile spreads across your face
As your eyes say even more

The smoothness of your skin excites me
As you glide upon me
Like a slippery fish in the sea
To octopus’ garden we go
To a place only you and I know.

I am from my mama's toes,
as my dad
walked out the back screen door day after day,
its rusted hinge screeching.
A reminder of the torrential rain of argument
falling on my little head

I am from pine trees
of sap and sticky sweet
and the seed ticks. Climbing to the top
checking your neighbor for where they’re hiding later
I am from a southerly wind blowing
the smells of an unkempt garden as flowers grow tall
and strong, while families fall apart like the suffocating weeds next to the roses

I am from the strong arms of 5 different oaks
holding me up like my father was supposed to
the branches of those who tried to fill
the pothole covered road
in my heart, but never could.

I am from my brother’s teachings,
and long walks in a warm rain
always ending too fast.
The sword fights with a long haired bohemian
who stole my heart in a flash of lighting
that I took back with a parrying blow

Smoked filled rooms
as I pretend to be someone else,
and learned of life in a binary universe
trippin on my spear as I fight through life

Forbidden to get dull
Less I lose the fight
My brother’s disappointment; ringing in my ears

I’m from the struggle of believing
in not believing.
My life, proving to be the site of one’s parents,
setting out Christmas
as they realize Santa isn’t real

I’m from a humble beginning
and an arrogant pride
that has given me freedom
to go where those haven’t dreamed

I am from the life I have chosen
to make for myself
I am from Punnet squares
in the back of class
sitting next to a friend

Wanting to know what my kids look like
ff they’ll be as good as I hope
like my mama dreams

I’m from rain on a leaky tin roof
putting me to sleep
making false peace

I am from the water
that rushes through my veins
as I break through the walls
and join in another world, of fish and muddy water

I am from escapes to Neverland
in the moments were I remember
I’m a kid and you’re a kid
and I laugh because I don’t always have to grow up

From my mom’s lemon pie
I hail
like the sugary sweet stickiness
and the ****
pucker you lips boys
lemon.
and the fried chicken

From a stove that hasn’t seen
the fanciest meats
but left us with a five star feast
at my parents hands

I miss when I came from
a smoke filled house
detectors going off
fat back and grilled cheese
burning in the pan.

I like to think
I am from a world
and all I learn
all that made me grow

I am from distinct beginnings
as my life separated
but I have but one
means to an end

I am from a fire place
and screaming wood beetles
as we pressed their backs
but that’s a happier time
that I know I’m from
but can’t remember
I was too young

Now I am from a firepit
Tall
as our conversations
our father singing drunken tales
too beautiful to believe
to fantastical to forget
sparks flying at each crakle
like fairies of fire
cascading in the air

But also from his wrath
the anger
nights spent in a room crying
wishing I could leave
clinging on only because I had yet to learn
I didn’t need him.

So I came from silence
between me and him
longer than forever
louder than the Nazgual
screeching out at us through the TV
a movie my father and I shared, so we could pretend a little longer.

I am from sneaking out a window
not to leave
but return
to when me and you got along
the asphalt
raking out hands
while we climbed to the top
that frightfully tall roof.

the stars leaning in to catching our fall.
the forbidden bottle passed between us.
the world looking like a nicer place
until we crawled back in the doors of reality

From the tear, resting on the edge of these words,
as I recalled your laugh
the real one
the music of it.
cried because I have not yet heard it
someone stole it from your soul.

Maybe freedom can bring it back,
or only further burry it
were the mad men buried it.

I was taught to live
as though not else mattered
the autonomy offering freedom
but still cling to what we had, for however long
our childhood
not as great.
grown up too fast.

Queen Mab holds my origins too
as does Fantasia
and Disney.

Eargon and Sapheria
swords of blue flame
holding my attention
locked away in my mind
as I watched their adventures
and others go by.

A House of Leaves
containing confuzzeld wonderment.
my brother making me challenge
what literary told me was possible
enjoying the complexity
and escape

I am from the Moulin Rouge
the green fairy of absinthe
with same
long haired bohemian
sitting next me, holding my hand

I came from a Secret History
bunny, laying flat in the snow
Dionysus holding the blame
the Greek world with bigger secrets
6 people of a strained friendship

I am from a radio
and an Ipod
the CD player and TV
music being my soul

Ambient, Pop, Grunge
House, Rock, Jazz, Classical
Blue Grass, Country, Electronica
A multitude of noise, dying to a lullaby

Headphones
soft n’ squishy
pressed tight to the drum
drown out the world I beg
they comply
my fingers moving along the click wheel
for a new assault
cilia fibers dying off
you know the world I am from
we shared it often times
and yet you are shut out
the world of 2 sisters
roads walked together.
but I am not from you side of the street.

I am from a dirt road
made long ago
that you will sometimes wonder on to.
but run back
to the smooth and familiar
Pavement.

To me she is a name and an image,
the moral to my good intentions,
A face to a feeling of my own invention.
She's a lingering lie in the back of my mind.

Fingers and lips stand highlighted
as ghost-like etchings in my abbreviated memory.
Romanticised moments of your hip-bones tremoring
on Winter nights, alone and together in the dark.

Our long lasting days in-doors
played out like "the way things ought to be",
with the most perfect view of the movie
through faded strands of hair

These days, your girls make you up unfamiliar,
Indian ink applied over the original sketch,
the shivering girl brought down to match,
a floating feather dipped in black and
made part of a Hot Topic handbag.

And even now I wonder if the dripping wet girl
with the stiff shutter smile
ever even existed, at least,
the drunken emo kid staggering on the cobbles whispers rumours
she was mown down by telltale scripted kisses and silent exchanges.

So she remains a name and an image,
a memorial for better or worse,
an epitaph that eases the hurt,
the difficult first album of my heart

you

always you
my mind always finds it way back to you
you who was my first taste
my first touch, my first all consuming fire
we had our passion in the darkness
and our romance in the light
you were a magnet, I was steel
and try as I might, I could not fight

you

it was a tug, then a pull, then a force to be reckoned with
and once we collided that was it
we were twisted and tangled together
we were a knot that couldn’t come undone
we pushed and pushed and pushed together
till I didn’t know where my heart ended and your hand began

you

the months passed and still we held
we intertwined our bodies and souls
it was sweet and it was right
it was the bond that sealed our fate
for we created a spark inside me
I felt a new life for the first time
and cried “oh God what is this?!”

you

we thought we were mountains
and our eyes could see what loomed on the horizon
we could see what was in front of us
but we should have looked below
our mountain was on quicksand
and you were slipping down

you

I watched as you slipped, unable to move
unable to breathe, unable to feel
when all I had was your fingertips to hold on to
I cried “NO! you will not take this from me!”
“you will not rip my heart out with you!”
but you did anyway
you still have pieces of it under your fingernails

you

you who were once my confidant
my passion, my lover
you who once inspired words of love
you now inspire words of pain and rage
what I once knew as love was now betrayal
and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

you

you who left me for her
left our blossoming flower to shrivel up and die in the winter
left the heart you once praised as your equal
for a cheap, side show imitation
left me alone on that mountain with that spark in my womb
never to return until you felt like it

you

I see you every time I look in our son’s eyes
the eyes I used to look into and see a world only I could see
the eyes that I can look into now and feel love again
he is the only way I have learned to love you again
but while he is a part of you, he is not you
he is you version 2.0, the new and improved

you

now you will always be a part of me
our bond we sealed will carry on even if you’re not around
because even though I mended my heart
you still took those pieces with you
the difference now is that my heart can beat without

you

It should have rained today,
But it was bright and windy,
With white clouds climbing
Over the mountains,
Like flocks of sheep.
I made believe I was the shepherd,
Chasing after my cloud-sheep,
Sitting on mountain tops,
Playing my flute,
A song that would make you
Smile.
But you weren’t there,
And the wind
Blew the sheep away,
And it really should have
Rained today.

Oh something suggestive of sadness
Oh a whimsical statement of fact
Now a pretentious realization
finally something obscurely abstract.

A rough attempt at continuity
A subject change, failing that
Then a talk about someone's feelings
And something else rhyming with that

Now To think of an ending
Now something pensive is said
The standard rhetorical question
Something off the top of your head.

Things are winding down now,
I can see it clearly
I never meant to be like this
It's not who I am, not really.
You told me so many things
That I now see as lies,
But when I try to tell you
You just desensitize.
I'm somehow really good at
Messing everything up,
But I always try to be a good person
Even though I should just shut up.