Standing on the edge of the crowd
racing mind, sweaty hands
trying to calm down but
you're scared & you can't
your heart beats faster
the voices get louder
the lights start spinning
you're getting dizzy
and you just...
can't seem to...
breathe

Sitting in the crowded lunchroom
self-conscious & afraid
Are they judging me?
Can they somehow see?
My panicked face?
My heartbeat race?
or the anxiety,
taking hold of me,
until I...
just cannot...
breathe?

Why can't I breathe when I need to most?

Standing at the front of class
icy smiles, staring eyes
watching every move I make
trying to see beneath my disguise
Why do they watch me?
What do they hope to see?
As my chest tightens
my visions darkens
And I...
just cannot...
breathe...

But I want to breathe...

Lately, I've just been so tired
Worn out by the troubles of every day
Damaged by the hurtful things
They don't know I've heard them say
The trials that I go through
the struggles that I fight
The thoughts that haunt me in the day
And keep me up at night
It just seems so pointless
to keep moving even though
It would be so much easier
for me to just let go
Sometimes I even wonder
Why I haven't surrendered
Maybe it's because that's not
How I want to be remembered
Although I will admit
I've considered it before
How much easier It'd be
To not wake up anymore
To hear the darkness beckoning
and listen to its call
to open up my arms
and just let myself fall
But then I remember
What I always seem to forget
The reason why I just
Cannot give up yet
I haven't finished my mission
What I was put here to do
I haven't changed the world
Like I've always wanted to...

What’s wrong with me?
Every time I see your face
My heart starts beating
All over the place

I can’t stop these feelings
These emotions you ignite
Even though you hurt me
I still hate it when we fight

The pain that’s in my heart
The things I’ll never say
I guess it’s true you know
There’s always a price to pay

Well this is my price
A pain that cuts so deep
Making me afraid
That I’ll never be complete

Tears hidden in my eyes
A broken heart that barely works
Sadly that doesn’t even
Dent the list of all of my hurts

I know you want to fix this
And you would if you knew how
But you can’t ask me for answers
That are yours to figure out

Knife in the chest
Twist it in deep
Now sit back boy
& Watch me bleed
See what you’ve done
The damage you’ve made
      I just hope it was worth
The cost that I've paid
Oh why did you do this
How could you hurt me so bad
You knew that I liked you
Still, you went and did THAT
Now you’ve broken my heart
When it still wasn’t whole
But you didn’t stop at that
You just had to crush my hope
So now I’m sitting in the ashes
Of the fire that you built
Hoping you get crushed
By the weight of your guilt
Cuz what you did to me
I just didn’t deserve
You couldn’t even tell me
Cuz  you didn’t have the nerve
So I ended up learning it
From somebody else
Cuz you didn’t have the guts
To tell me yourself
So right now I’m just hoping
That one day this won’t hurt
And that you’re hurting just as badly
As this heart that you’ve burned