They call me The Alpha...
My community calls me the Alpha Female
A-don't care...
A not senstitive soul.
A Hurt-resistant human.

Dating a couple people at the same time they say is my policy
They have a picture of  me in their minds, So they don't mind.
They don't care...
afterall am resistant to pain right?

Here is THE TRUE story.
I Love...I Feel...I hurt
Yes I Do.
Maybe I have to put a brave front so I don't look desperate but No, I Love.
I Do.

eg. There is this particular soul, #sigh
Her beauty caught my eye since that picnic...
Its been a year now...and I still Love her.
I hate admitting it.
It makes me weak.
So weak because we have never gone exclusive.
I Stand firm...stern...composed.
Untill I hear a song by one "JOSHUA RADING" and Like a drunk
I lose my composture
I ran...
I hide...
I cry.
Then I wipe my eyes and come out of the room, all re-created.

Nothing solid has taken place between US, but deep I feel she is the ONE.
Back then, I was ready, she wasn't...now, am not ready, but she is.

I wish I could let her see herself through my eyes...
just to see what she means to me.
But it all goes to the same point, she told her friends "She is way out of my league, I can't afford her"

I Hate the label humans have put on my forehead
That makes it hard to be Loved.
Am just human.
Principled and independent YES, BUT WITH A HEART TOO.

It Hurts...it's pains.

But I will OUTLIVE this mentality.
And someday, SHE WILL BE MINE, AND I, HER'S.

©The Unspoken

Here she stands, she can see my reflection in this river
Black continent, black society, black Love
I hold my breath...
I let go
...then she falls inside. Alone.

©The Unspoken

After you have your perfect job,
Drive the Best car,
Get the world's most amazing spouse
Live the Perfect Life...
What Next then?....

Does The Story END?

©The Unspoken

I never knew the ugliness of pain,
I never felt the pinch of a hole in my heart
I never knew the emptiness of life...Till you left my life.
If I would, a break up would be easy, because I would know that somehow, you moved on the phase of earth,
Somehow, I would find an excuse to drop you a "wrong text"
Somehow, I would find myself at your door, and convince you "I was in the neighbor hood" so decided to come say hello.

But the miles between me and you now is infinite...
The hollow and gap in my soul is deep than the pits of hell.

I'd have sworn four years with you would multiply to 8, then 16 then 24...
Time stole you away too soon.
As I watch my shadow upon your grave, in this sunset, my tears flow..
Just as fresh as when I received that call from your doctor that you wanted to see me.
Then slowly I walked by your bedside, but you NEVER said a word, just a smile on your face with your black eyes shut.
Then the words that pierced my soul as never before "Shee, has left Us"...
sigh...

I hate it when people leave!!..
It scares me when someone leaves.
You knew that, but you still left.
With that note by your side, that I am your forever.
That You had honored your promise and stayed with me to death.

As I write this, I cry...I sob like a little girl...just like the first time.
But since you gone, just remember, we only not in the physical...
but my heart, shall never forget you...
My first...My true.
I MISS YOU.
I DO.

Your Forever
©The Unspoken