You hate it when I stare at you
I know.
But you don't understand that
When I look at you
The world
It just...
It just stops.
It stops and nothing else exists except for you
And my eyes looking at you.

There is nothing else.
The people in the room
Melt away.
The worries I have?
All *******.
There's no yesterday
No tomorrow
No differences that can tear us apart
Or tear my eyes off you.
You make everything else
Distant
And insignificant
Compared to the magnitude of my
Love
For you.
And the beauty and depth and wonders
Of the soul that I see
In your eyes.

I see your pain
And your joy;
I notice your laughter and your struggles and all the things that intrigue you
And all of it fascinates me.

I want to know all of it.
I want to know what turns you on,
I want to know what makes you click,
I want to know what you think about
When you have long car rides to yourself.
I want to know what infuriates you
I want to know what on earth could turn your beautiful eyes into fires of hatred and loathing,
Or melt them into pools of the softest adoration.
I want to know your future,
And what you see in it.
And I want to know if you prefer blue Jell-O or red.
And do you ever wish you were short
Just so you could always win at hide-and-go-seek?
Or maybe as tall as a redwood so that you would never have to wonder how a bird sees the world.
If you could go to the moon, would you?
Or would you stay here, in mock safety, to welcome home those who went in your place?
If you could have one super power
Would you care to hear everyone's thoughts
Or would you want to be able to run
Fast as a speeding bullet
Away from here.
I want to know your wildest fantasies
And can we make them a reality together.
I want to know your past
I want to know what makes you who you are
And what brought you here
To me.
I want to know everything
Hold back nothing
But not until you're ready.

When I look at you
I just want to talk.
Forever.
About everything and nothing
And when I look at you I want to sit in silence
Because that's comfortable too.
When I look at you
I want to spill my soul
Because I know you'd catch it.
I can see it
In your eyes.

When I look at you
I draw from your strength
I refresh from your smiles
And I remember who I am.

When I look at you
You are the only thing that exists.
You
And my eyes looking at you.
And it is truly beautiful.
You are truly beautiful.
And that
Is why I stare.

Pretty
Pretty.
What does it mean to her?
Since the beginning time, she was always told she was pretty,
But at one point that little girl began to question
If what she was told was a lie.
Everybody seemed pretty,
But her.
She was no longer the “You should sign her up for modeling” girl.
She became “Oh, she’s ….. tall”
Or “Wow, you’re big! Oh I mean big for your age.”
When the “pretty” faded, so did her spirit.
The omnipresent smile was gone,
As well as her joy.
She became her mother’s nightmare
Moody,
Sensitive,
Irritable,
Argumentative.
She covered up her self-destructive insecurities with faux confidence and
“No really, I’m fine”
Just as if one covers up their unsightliness
With aggrandize grand eyes, cheeks and lips
No one ever knew that underneath all the bravado
There was still a little girl,
Who seemed grown physically and sometimes mentally,
Longing for someone to tell her she’s pretty.


Incorrect.


This little girl was waiting to tell herself she was pretty
And believe it.

Please
Stop
Repeating
How much a disappointment I am sometimes.
When I don't get good enough marks,
When I don't get into the board you want me to,
When I fumble in piano recitals.

Because I am,
Equally sad,
Broken,
Confused,
If not more than how anyone feels.

But I know,
It's for my good,
You hope to achieve what you couldn't yourself.

I just wish I could tell you somehow,
I'm working hard,
Very very hard,
To be the best daughter I can.

But please be patient,
I'm getting there.

we all start out as empty canvases
until one draws a line
the line is covered up
for no one to see

roll up her sleeves
remove her bracelets
see she's no longer
an empty canvas

the lines painted red
and cut to the core
she's different than the rest
she's different than you

as you try to comprehend
she pulls down her sleeves
and gets down on her knees
the lines no longer blend

pretend you care
leave her bare
then run away
and leave her to decay

The first time I stepped into school,
Admiring that beautiful wall of fame.
Carved in gold were so many names,
Dated back from decades ago.

Each year has a different name,
Each name part of history.
Shining bright under the light,
Too prestigious and too rare.

I told myself what if I could
See my name etched on the wall,
Nothing else can sweep it away,
Nothing else can wash it away.

But this dream of mine is dashed,
Thrown into the deepest sea,
Crushed almost for eternity,
Something I can never be.

I can't measure how much I've done,
Working so hard to get a step closer.
Each time I think I'm almost there,
I'm actually disillusioned,
I'm going nowhere.

From here I have two paths to go,
One to chase and persist on my goal,
Or I could simply accept my fate,
Give it a try,
Open my mind.
Perhaps that's where I'm meant to be.

My minds says one thing,
But my heart says another,
I hate these moments,
They're my greatest bother.

Is my life a book written my God?
Do all things happen for a reason,
Because that's how my fate was destined?
I wish I could know all the answers,
But I guess some things are secrets for our lifetime.

I wonder if I should go chase my dreams,
Be brave,
Be bold,
Be ridiculed at.

What if I grow to love my fate,
Loving,
Sharing,
Caring for others.

Is this the place that's meant for me?
I don't know the answer,
And I'll never know.

But how about the names in gold
And everything that seemed perfect to me?
To go forth and chase my dreams,
Or to just accept
My fate?

Have you ever
Stretched a rubber band?
It’s easy.
Just grab both ends
And pull
And pull.

The tension builds
Tighter
And
Tighter

The rubber gets
Thinner
And
Thinner

Soon
The tension gets
Too much
And

The rubber
Band
Snaps

Remember
The pain that comes
With it?
The sharp
Sting

That brings tears
To your eyes
But just within
A short moment

It’s over.