You saw me.
And your dazzling eyes met my plain ones.

My heart throbbed, skipped, jumped, and burst
And I couldn't help but smile.

When we are together, even for a split second,
Everyone else should Run.

Because you are the only one safe from my explosive heart.

I could feel it.
When you told me,
I could feel it.
And I felt like I could really smile.

Your name rolls off of my tongue now.
It seems
Normal
For you to be a part of my life.
To be a part of me.

This will last.
I know it will.
Because I believe in our ability
To fight for it.

To let my name roll off of your tongue, too.
Because its natural.
*Right.

I wont do it again.
I promised myself.
And others.

But its so tempting!

Dreams of death.
And constant O.B.E's
Show me how good it feels.
Free of everything.

Nothing to do or look forward to.
Nothing to regret.

But I wont repeat history.

I wont try to **** myself again.
Just for you, love.
And for me as well.

I can say the things that cannot be said.
It sounds contradictory,
But it is possible.
I will use my body, my soul.
I will hold you while you cry,
And catch your tears in a stained glass jar,
So I can break it over someones head.
I will be your confidant,
Silently mourning your sadness,
But keeping it hidden by your request.
I will be the person you wont be afraid to open up to,
You would come to me,
And let go.

I can say the thing that cannot me said:
I am here,
And so are you.

ijustwanttoscreamandcrywithoutbeingheard

Now I know.
I am as safe as a secret.

Some will spread me like jam and eat me alive,

Some will savor the sweetness, taste here and there, and love me.

But who is who?

Lately, more deep connections are made though poetry.
Right here.
It shouldn't be this way.

Just spit it out!

If you have a problem, Tell me.
Scream at me.
Whine to me.

If you have issues with me, Shout them in my face
And force me to listen to the echo.
So that I may fix it.
And apologize.

Forgive me for worrying,
But you have left me no choice.

You've been through a lot, and haven't told me much.
When in most others' circumstances,
The Girlfriend would be the first to know.


It seems that you always find a way to make me cry,
And spill everything that bothers me at the time.
I can't do that for you.
Its obvious that something is bugging you, but you wont tell me.

Just forget it...
I'm just about done trying...
Just about done fighting
Because it seems like you won't let me.

Whats the difference?
Besides an extreme pleasure coming from below...
There's squeaky springs, And some like it.
Two or more people are involved (The more, the merrier)!
At least mostof the time. I guess you could be alone...

There is a lot of sweat and going up and down...
Up... and down...
Up... and down
Forcefully...
Heh, you're imagining now aren't you!?
If you are, then this worked, but I'm not done...

The screams and tricks you can do.
So many fun tricks!
Ones that make you feel like you're flying
Or maybe make you bump your head and begin to moan.

And then your stomach drops and you feel the rush.
The high point.
A certain ******. if you will.

So really, what is the difference between *** and trampolines?
Other than an ****** of course...

I am treated
Like a useless little girl.
I'm sure a lot of women are.
For example,
When I was little,
I wanted to learn how to carve wood.
I asked my father for a pocket knife.
He told me,
"No. You are too little and fragile.
You might hurt yourself."
I agreed. I was small.
But my brother,
Three years younger,
Asked the same a few months later.
And he got what he wanted.

And then,
Years later,
My brother did the same.
He was told by our mother
To chop ice in the winter.
I knew he wasn't strong enough.
He isn't athletic or strong
As I am.

I asked to do it while he did my assigned chore.
Dishes.
A "woman's chore."
My brother,
My younger,
Smaller,
Weaker brother
Said to me
"Its a big job.
I think I should do it.
You are a girl, after all."
He went and came back.
whining that it was too difficult.

I went and got it done.
Without breaking a sweat.
And then he blamed me for being sexist
And rubbing it in that i was stronger,
When I never said a word.
I just sat,
Clicking my T.V. remote.

I thought about all of the other times,
Countless times in my life when I was treated like this
My most all men in my family.

Really?
I'm the sexist one?

iamsoscaredforthefuturebecauseicantseeit

tiredofhowimportantthesmallthingsare

somanywordsiwishicouldsay.frozen

I wish I could not speak.
Maybe then,
The things I wish to say would be more meaningful
And I would say so much more.

I wouldn't say
"I love you".
I would show it.

And I wouldn't recite poetry,
I would act it.

And I wouldn't tell jokes.

*I would be them.

writingwhatavoicecannotsaywillsoondrivemecrazy

As the sun shines through the leaves,
The colors brighten.

But if it attempts to shine through us,
We are left blackened and hollow.
The light is behind
And we are walking away.

Or maybe leaving the darkness behind.
Emerging from our silhouette to show
Our true colors.

I don't care how easy it is to learn,
I care about the sound.

Like the drums,
It's a beat keeper,
Yet has it's own melody.

Deep Pulse
Pulse
Pulse
Resonating
From these simple strings.

And there's so many hearts to play.

stopitstopitstopiticanthandlethissituationanymore

In every drawing, every sketch, every line made with a pencil.
There are pictures hidden.
An emotion left behind.
An imprint.

Every **** at my screen forms a letter, making up the words you are reading now.
And every tap of my fingernail is some sort of song I have in my head.

Everything has a meaning. Even if you don't know it.
A math equation: 17t =.5+14(t+.25)
17 means something to someone. An anniversary.
.25: A quarter. Maybe dinner for a homeless man.

Everything has meaning.

I drew a tree on my page. And that symbolizes the ways I've grown.
Ways I've changed, matured.
And also the beauty and grace of just simply
Standing tall.

Every seam on my dress was designed by someone.
I am wearing an idea.
And that idea could've been someone's pride and joy.
The career they dreamed of and finally achieved.

You never know.

Every stroke of chalk, oil, paint, is an emotion.
I would stab a canvas with a pencil lead thin brush
And it would make a star.
So simple, so beautiful, but what if my head, my heart, my body, was trembling with anger.
Or fear.
Or sadness.
A white rose is beautiful, you'd give it to your lover.
But did you know it symbolizes death?
It's peaceful nature and delicate scent, it's bright light, it's bright color.

It makes me cry every time.
Because somehow, when whoever created that symbol or came up with the idea,
They wanted to die. And they most likely did.
So then, why do people wear black at funerals?

The color is the opposite of death. If you count the white rose.
It symbolizes rebirth.

Living in the hearts of those who actually showed up to mourn you.
While others might have skipped because its just too sad or,
Maybe, they're happy. And they wore yellow that day instead.

Read between the lines. Between the creases.
Between the fingers of someone I used to know,
There were scars.

Who looked at the side of someone's finger?
No one. They were hidden.

She was hurt, but she wore pink.
And her scars were pink as well.
New, like a baby's skin. And what if it was? If it was a baby's skin,
Her way of rebirthing herself into the world and find her new soul,
Her new knowledge?

Read between the lines.
Because she had them in her toes, too.

I need... no.
I want to stay awake.
I want to talk to him,
Imagine him.
But I'm slipping.

Is it possible to be sleep-intolerant?
Not insomnia, just intolerant.
I want to be.
I'd accomplish so much!
I'd write,
Read,
And imagine my love holding me.

Of course, I'd miss my dreams,
But, in this reality, I'm also
*Living one.

I nearly fell asleep in class again.
The boredom lulling me and making me
Numb.

And then a spell is cast. You enter
My mind without permission. You are always there,
But...
This time you completely took over.

ishouldhavekissedkim

So long ago.
I remember, I think
this feeling of mine,
happiness.
So long ago,
I've felt it.
With you, only
with you,
I was happy.

So soon.
You left me,
lied to me,
after almost losing
My mind in your
endless sky.
So soon,
the happiness faded
to nothing, but,
somehow, a phantom
remains.

So long ago, yet, so soon,
My world fell to pieces.

I don't know what, but
Something doesn't feel quite right...
I must be going crazy.

weareallguiltyofsomethingcalledprejudice

Although life is one pitiful concert,
Not everyone needs to play or perform.
The music plays, happily or hurt,
But never loses the mind it flows in from.

The ear of an adolescent girl
Listens intently to quizzical noises.
The voice of a teen male yet to unfurl,
Cracks under pressure before other voices.

Nerves take the best of him, dragging away
The voice of one blossoming new artist.
The listener and artist go to stay
Under the lonely heavens in the mist.

If the two bodies officially met,
What would become of old decisions?
Just as if the mist would rise and wet
Their instruments, would it mute musicians?

"Every girl marries her father"

My mother always told me this.



You need to stop apologizing.
I've already forgiven you.
Yet you wont stop.

You are just like him...

I am nothing special.
Just a girl,
Just a girlfriend,
Just an advice giver.

But underneath it all,
I have a story.
Like everyone else.
I have a complex life, like everyone else.
And I also have a difficult love,
One for everything I hold dear.
And you may too.
And you may also share my story.

A small, thin, preppy girl
Who loves the color pink.

Excels in school.
And gives good advice.

But has always been compared to
Her younger
And weaker
And less intelligent
Brother.

A sexist father that
Never spoke to me.

And a mother who blamed me for everything
And still does.

And both of the people who raised me
Had problems with alcohol
And cigarettes.

And it didn't help at all that
I had mental and intuitive
Capabilities that were lost to me.
And a disease plaguing
My mind that generations past
Have passed to me.

Friends that have betrayed me,
Past loves that have ruined me,
A new love that has made me
feel more than I ever have
And a vision that darkens my skies.

It has ruined me.
Broken me.
Scarred me.

But I am who I am,
Just like you are who you are.

And we are nothing special.

Sorry to disappoint you.

I love you with my heart and soul,
But frankly, I'd like to punch you
In the face sometimes.
Just thought you should know.

The voices of my peers echo
As either a comedy or a drama is spoken.
Tears of the audience
Either come from laughter or sadness,
Emotions felt be the stories told
By my peers on stage.

Tales of soldiers or ******,
Talking animals or mad hatters,
Different tones being used
For each character's profile.
The difficulty of keeping a straight face
When acting as though you suffer
From Multiple Personality Disorder.

As the tale concludes,
Clapping and whistles erupt
From the audience.
The judges take their notes,
Scribbling their views on the show.

The suspense of waiting
For the scoreboard to claim
The first place Speaker.
Poetic,
Dramatic,
Comedic
Representations of stories,
Are difficult to judge.
But, of course,
The best will rise
And claim the satisfaction
Of applause by the viewers.

The only thing left
To do now, is
Wait for the next competition,
Next Saturday.

Iwishicouldcurlupandfreezeforever

Some girls decide
Done with One, Onto Another.
They stomp on hearts with their
Expensive stilettos.

The difference between
Them and Me:
I don't have the time or money
To walk in their shoes.
And, frankly,
*I don't *want to.

I haven't been able to concentrate on any of my work.
I got everything wrong.
It is easy!!!
And it was all wrong!!!

What the hell is happening to me?
Everything in my life is suffering.
My work,
My mind.
I can hardly meditate anymore because I am too crowded
With this **** in my mind that I wanted to forget.

I am reliving it.

I wanted to avoid this, but I needed people to know. I needed to
Get it out!
That's why I wrote that stupid ******* poem.
But then she found it and now
My life is a living hell.

Just stop it. Please.

We can make it.

Through thick and thin,
We've improved, learned, and leaned
On each other.
I can't stand my life outside of this.
There is so much drama, and it
Is affecting my work at school.
I can't think.
But you allow me to escape.
I don't care about school,
I don't care about the drama.
I hope I can do that for you.
I hope I am doing that for you.

And I want it to continue this way.
I know you do too, because you've told me.
(And I hope you're not lying to me)

Please.
Remember your promise.

The usual plain ignorance has been replaced
With this stupid reality.
We wonder why so much is not achievable,
But they cause their own soul's paralysis.
I've heard so many complaints
Of feeling frozen,
Stuck.
If we could only see...

I need to relax.
I've been stressed,
Upset,
Over thinking things.
And I need to relax.

A Lavender and Peppermint bath,
Heaven.
A good novel,
Dreamland.
Dubstep to accompany me,
Pleasure beyond imagination.

And finally,
No thinking at all.

Drip, Drip, Drop!
The tears come running,
Splashing to the floor.
The blank page dotted,
The ink running away
From the letters I try to deliver.
I need to say why
I choose to leave.
Because of this,
The tears come running.

Chocolate is the best medicine.
And its amazing when it makes you warm and fuzzy inside.
Hot chocolate.

On a burning summer day, you cant seem to handle the delicacy,
But it is still possible to get the same feeling.

All you need is someone to be there.

I'm having the nightmares yet again.
And I've changed the word because dream implies
A good thing.
It used to be, but...
Now I have you to look forward to.

Texts every morning
And every night.
Poems that show me you.
And you constantly telling me I'm cute,
And tickling me to embarrass me
Because my laugh sounds like a goat.

You saved me.

I told you I've tried.
The second time...
Only a few days before this began.
And, after that,
I never wanted to try again,
Even if my disease told me otherwise.

They're back.
As they try to escape,
I silently scream,
Paralyzing them.
I think they're scared of me.
They know what is in my head.
The thought of seeing myself dead.
I'm scared of me, too.
They try to run down,
Rain down,
But they're all I have.
If they escape and my eyes go dry,
I'll be empty.

I am nothing without my tears.

They're back again.
I've used that line before,
But I can't help it.
They keep coming,
Keep trying to escape.
In my head, I scream,
Paralyzing them.
I think they're scared of me.
They know what is in my head.
The thought,
The wish,
To see myself dead.
I'm scared of me, too.
They try to run,
As I have done many times before,
But couldn't.
I can't let them escape,
Can't let them accomplish what
It is impossible for me to do.
They're all of the protection
I have against myself.
If they run, rain, fall,
And they don't come back,
I'll be empty.
Numb.

Now,
My only wish is to prove to you
How much emotion my heart can hold.
Show you that I think you
Are beautiful
In every sense of the word.

And I love looking into your eyes,
My darling.

The sound that
Cools the fire,
Also heightens my awareness.

In this moment, It causes me
To worry.

Will he still love me?
Will he judge me?

I need to know.

The most beautiful words spoken
Are the ones you touch on my lips.
So silent, but it says so much.
Represents so much.

Promise me this:
If you ever sop loving me,
Never kiss me again.

*It's the same as lying.