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The New Kestrel Apr 2013
acceptingoneforthemselvesisonlyanewlydifficulttask
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
And all
F
  A
      L
           L
                S
Silent.
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
After it is written,
Set on parchment,
With permanent ink,
It can't be taken back.

Those words will affect you,
Whether you like it or not,
Because you still have it
In your head.

The only way is
To write something else
And think ahead
To the page after
The New Kestrel Mar 2013
There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long.
"I know that this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong."
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend,
Or wise man could decide
Whats right for you- just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.

~Shel Silverstein
The New Kestrel Apr 2013
livelifelovelifelaughatthefacthatyoushouldnt
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
Have you ever Just
Sat and wondered about
Random things that
Runaroundinyourmindatthespeedoflight.

Barely understandable.
But somehow the clearest explanation.
Why things happen.
Why the world is the way it is
And why life is most important.

Why the "Powers That Be"
Seem to take over peoples lives and
Cloud them from reality.

Why people are consumed by lust
And constantly feed their desires.
Hungrily.

Why healing wounds itch and
Get scratched open again.
Bleeding invisibly.

Why government agencies lie to the people
And gets its citizens killed.
Leaving the rest ignorant and begging.


These things just, sometimes, happen.

And sometimes life's a *****.
The New Kestrel Mar 2013
I can't do it.
The pounding in my head
As I try to think
Is unbearable.
wdors jbmule
Making it impossible to continue.
The words i try to put onto my page
Stay on my tongue,
fighting to stay together
As they slip.
I hate Writers Block.
The New Kestrel Dec 2012
They’re back again.
The visions in my head,
The ones of blood.
Of my blood.
Puddles.
On the floor of my room.
Porcelain eyes are watching.
Staring at the mess I've made.
Scarlet threads on my wrists and neck are unraveling,
The color draining from my body.
Painful from your eyes,
Peaceful from mine.
Stress and worry are gone.
Never to be seen from my eyes again,
For my eyes can no longer see.
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
Threat?
More like a challenge.

I know what I said, but...
I don't know if I can make it.
Weird situation caused me to tell my boyfriend I wouldn't kiss him for a month... I was mostly joking, but I guess I'm up for the challenge now.
The New Kestrel Mar 2013
Time ticks today, as it did last Tuesday.
Tick, Tock, Chime.
Flying by and I don't know why.
Tick, Tock, Chime.
Boredom comes out to play.
Tick, Tock, Chime.
Time is forever here to stay.
We had a stupid project to write a poem with onomatopoeia. Its stupid but its kinda cute!
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
Reading words
Written painfully
And accurately.
Histories revealed
And futures
Being dreamed.
And it
All conspires
To destroy
And demolish
Your mind.
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
Many say it is dangerous.
That hearts will be broken and
"Darkness will triumph."

But they are wrong.
While there will be struggles,
The love of an artist is true.
We search for the things that are real,
And we respect the boundaries
Because we know what it's like to have them crossed.
We will be distant, but also be the closest person you have
Because we know what it's like to need someone.
We know how to speak and perform
In just the right ways
To show you the beauty imprinted in us,
And the truth we can reveal.

To love an artist,
A poet,
A painter,
A soul,
Is a gift.
And in my opinion, two artists together is the best combination.
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
This isn't a crush.
It never really was.
Somehow,
Somewhere in my minds eye,
I saw it.
Us

I saw your colors
And I confirmed what I wished.
That you liked me.

Its been almost four months since then,
But, based on how much we've grown,
It could be eternity.

This isn't a schoolgirl crush.
And this isn't anything I've felt before.
This is real.

I think... This might be true love.
The New Kestrel Apr 2013
Some times
I wish I spoke in
In a different tongue.
So no one understands the words.
So I could be as outrageous as I want to be.
So people would think me kind, but I am cursing them
For being the opposite of what they think of me.
So no one would bother me about homework.

So I could be alone.

I don't know why I wish this,
But I do.
Maybe so I can think.
Speak
Be
Only what I want to.
And only when I want to.

I don't mean to wish for isolation,
But I do.
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
When I draw, or write for that matter,
I go into a daze.
Almost like unwilling meditation.
I don't see my own work until it is done
Except for few occasions.

I drew us today.
Or at least the feeling I get
When were together
And you touch me,
Hold me,
Kiss me.

It's almost a portrait.
The girl has wings
And toe shoes.
She dances atop floating ribbons
Which flare to form a heart.

Her head is an eye.
Representing my clarity
And freedom when I see you.
When I see only you.

And She is my masterpiece.
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
I know its bothering you still.
No reason why it wouldn't.
The elephant in the room.
I worry constantly,
And I wonder how you're doing,
But I don't want to pry.

But if it ever comes to mind,
You can talk to me.
Maybe it'll help.
And maybe I can be a shoulder to cry on
For once.

You can trust me
With anything.
Saw a poem and thought I'd post this.
I love you, Sage.
The New Kestrel Jun 2013
I listen,
I watch,
I cry,
As my pen moves
Across the page.
Over,
And over,
And over.

The words I write
show the emotion I cannot
Express outwardly

I finish one.
I turn the page.
I continue.
One after another.
Constantly,
Endlessly,
Turning pages.
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
I never wrote about it.
I don't like to remember.
And few people know.

But I want people to know the story.
---------------------------------------


I was depressed.
My dad and his sexism towards me,
My moms screams over every little thing.
Everything seemed to be turned against me.

I wanted to end it all.

Death by asphyxiation.

Tying a bandanna tightly around my neck
And going to sleep.

I was sure it would work.
I tied it pretty tightly and all I had to do
Was finish tying the knot.
Three times.
So I couldn't back out.
I almost got to the second loop,
And I heard the beep.

I never read the text.
I just responded with
What I thought was accurate.

And, without my permission,
The knots untied.

And your name was the only thing I saw.

I liked you before then,
But after that, I knew I would grow to love you.
Something told you to text me right then.
Whether it be a selfish reason, or an instinct,
You saved my life.

And now you're a big part of it.
And I hope to the God I don't believe in
That it will, stay that way.
The New Kestrel Jul 2013
whatthehelldididoandhowdoifixit
The New Kestrel Jul 2013
Speak under your breath
As though talking to yourself,
But rest your head on my shoulder.

That way, I can hear you.
And you have me.
Just rest your head upon my shoulder.

I will always be here.
I will always listen
To the words spoken ever so quietly.
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
I want to be able
To say something small.
Ten words or less.
That means the world to you.
That pulls on your heartstrings
Like a harp and plays a melody.
That forces you to go through
Every drawer and dusty file cabinet
In your mind to say something back.

But when the day comes that I do say something,
You don't have to say anything.
Just hold my hand,
And squeeze three times.
The New Kestrel Apr 2013
dontletpettyliesenteryourbloodstream
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
I wish I had a voice
That could enchant
Every pair of ears
That ever heard me.

I would sing forever.
Listening to some music that I wish I could actually sing to... I'm envious of Tori Amos...
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
stabmesoidontdoitmyself
evenifimdreaming
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
A speech in a play once described
A Queen of Dreams.
Mab.
The faerie's midwife.

I fear that she may be real.
Plaguing me with dreams that haunt my reality.

Déjà Vu Being nearly
The only feeling I live with.
Romeo and Juliet reference.
Mercutio: Ah, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.
She is the faerie's midwife and comes in shape no bigger
Than an agate stone on the fore finger of an alderman.
Drawn with a team of little atomies
Athwart men's noses as they lie asleep;
Her wagon spokes make of long spinners' legs,
The cover, of the wings of grasshoppers;
Her traces, of the smallest spider web;
Her collars, of the moonshine's wat'ry beams;
Her whip, of cricket's bone; the lash, of film;
Her wagoner, a small grey-coated gnat,
Not half so big as a round little worm
Pricked from the lazy finger of a maid;
Her chariot is an empty hazelnut,
Made by the joiner squirrel or old grub,
Time out o' mind the fairies' coachmakers.
And in this state she gallops night by night
Through lovers' brains, and then they dream of love;
O'er courtiers' knees, that dream on curtsies straight;
O'er lawyers' fingers, who straight dream on fees;
O'er ladies' lips, who straight on kisses dream,
Which oft the angry Mab with blisters plagues,
Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are.
Sometimes she gallops o'er a courtier's nose,
And then dreams he of smelling out a suit;
And sometimes comes she with a tithe-pig's tail
Tickling a parson's nose as 'a lies asleep,
Then dreams he of another benefice.
Sometimes she driveth o'er a soldier's neck,
And then dreams he of cutting foreign throats,
Of breaches, ambuscadoes, Spanish blades,
Of healths five fathom deep; and then anon
Drums in his ear, at which he starts and wakes,
And being thus frighted, swears a prayer or two
And sleeps again. This is that very Mab
That plats the manes of horses in the night
And bakes the elflocks in foul sluttish hairs,
Which once untangled much misfortune bodes.
This is the hag, when maids lie on their backs,
That presses them and learns them first to bear,
Making them women of good carriage.
This is she!
The New Kestrel Apr 2013
What if
I was insane?
I would hear whispers,
Yell back at them,

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

But they'd stay.
Crying.
Telling me I'm heartless,
And that they're lonely.

'Then don't be.
That's what got me here,
In this room,
Alone
Again'

What if it was different?
What if
I was sane?
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
When you put your arm around me,
It seemed a dream.
Almost as if I wasn't really here, and neither were you.

My heart still jumped,
And I felt everything.

Maybe I'm just more confident now.

Maybe this is surreal
Because we are the strange ones.

We're the ones who will last.
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
These little moments mean everything.
Every tight face, trying not to frown,
Or possibly explode,
Shouts at me to do something.

But all I can do is stand here with my arms
And wait.
Even then, your not the type
To come running.

Though, sometimes you just need to give in.
The New Kestrel Jun 2013
As I move along,
Alone, wondering, and wandering,
I think about the path I'm on.

Or is it a road?

I can never tell...
The New Kestrel Jun 2013
I continue to wonder
If it was too much.
The emotions were intense,
Driven by instinct,
Pleasure, Fire.

*Was it a mistake?
The New Kestrel Jun 2013
My mouth has a mind.
The words I say influence things.
**Uncontrollable
The New Kestrel Jun 2013
Just a piece of metal,
Just a little slice.
One of these simple things
Will cause eternal night.
Why do I wish for this,
Or at least think  I do,
When all this time
I've had you?

"Bang!!!" Its gone.
This forever hell.
Bless the world
For making me well.
Although it took longer,
I am still in debt
To the one who decided
To give me this test.
The New Kestrel Jul 2013
nootherpoetrycanmakemefeelasyoursdoes

— The End —