I really have to do something.
If I don't, I'll burst.

I can feel it swelling up,
Making my knees shake.

I have to ***...

When you put your arm around me,
It seemed a dream.
Almost as if I wasn't really here, and neither were you.

My heart still jumped,
And I felt everything.

Maybe I'm just more confident now.

Maybe this is surreal
Because we are the strange ones.

We're the ones who will last.

So long ago.
I remember, I think
this feeling of mine,
happiness.
So long ago,
I've felt it.
With you, only
with you,
I was happy.

So soon.
You left me,
lied to me,
after almost losing
My mind in your
endless sky.
So soon,
the happiness faded
to nothing, but,
somehow, a phantom
remains.

So long ago, yet, so soon,
My world fell to pieces.

muchlikemyfavoriteflowerthehumanmindalsowilts

Tell me what comes next.
Do you have a vision, a dream,
Of what might happen
In the future, no matter how far?

I don't know why I'm asking...
I guess I like to dream.

Why are you still talking to me?
Leave me alone.
I don't want to talk to you.
I'm better off.
And I love someone else.
In love.
I never really loved you,
So why do you try?

Just forget that anything ever happened.
Better yet, just
*********!

It's always a tree.
I don't know why,
It just
Is.

I draw it sprawled out across the skin on my arm.
Sharpies sting on scratched limbs.

But at least I can trace it and remember how much I've grown.

Exotic, ******, yet so normal.
And so right.

I only crave the feeling of you.
And somehow I know I'll get it.
Someday.
When we're ready.

Until then, I'll just dream.
Every night. Our souls entwined.
Sharing our fantasies.

All because I love the fire
You feed me.

Its true.
They sting, they itch, they burn.
For everyone.
I cry and I cant stop.
I cant figure out
Who or what
These tears are falling for.
Is it stress
Confusion
Anger
Sadness?
I don't know.
All I do know is

I have eyes that burn.

I can't do it.
I can't pretend anymore,
But I can't be myself either.
This...
This...
This MASK is crazy glued to my face!
A never-ending smile,
A never-ending mass of energy.
I'm tired,
I'm upset,
I'm only happy around a few certain people,
I'm helpless.
I can't stop it.
Help me...
Help me...
HELP ME BE ME!!!

Please?

                                       Dear Diary,
                                       I can't handle this anymore...

I have this lipstick.
It's burgundy,
My favorite.
You seem to like it, too.
Today it put it on,
Pretty and Perfect,
But now I have this feeling...

It is smeared.

Like all of my work
This poem
Is genius.

(Written by an awesome dude who is not kestrel and has not been or ever will be in any way, shape, or form.)

Building walls gets tiring, you know?

I've had lots of practice, building
Brick, cement, sheet rock,
All types.
But they all come crashing down.

Someone must have started a
Demolition company...
They RUIN MY WORK!

I quit.
I just cant build anymore...
My hands are calloused,
My head is a jumbled mess,
And I have built the same wall
Too many times to count.

Because you knocked it down.

I had a dream.

You doodled on my skin,
And left your name.
You claimed me,
And, in return,

*I claimed you.

It's not just mine.
There are differences, yes,
But it is still the same.
The words tell stories.
Possibly of caves or black holes,
Vines or the moon,
The meanings hidden from you.
It all connects, somehow.

The human experience continues
To be revealed.
More.
More is happening,
And everyone has their own words.
Some are the same as mine.

Some just need to tell. To get into peoples heads.
Some are healing themselves.
Some, like me, are searching. Wanting to be fully understood.

But, somehow, it all connects.
It is all the same.

Guilt overrides happiness.
Only in some circumstances.

                                 Like being strange... An outcast...
And dragging a lover into the light with you.

                                 He is labeled just as I am, now.

Time ticks today, as it did last Tuesday.
Tick, Tock, Chime.
Flying by and I don't know why.
Tick, Tock, Chime.
Boredom comes out to play.
Tick, Tock, Chime.
Time is forever here to stay.

With everything that has happened,
I need a hero.
Writing blindly doesn't help anymore.
I need a new hero, a new savior.
Explaining myself, My views,
Possibly going too far,
Dealing with my disorder, my disease, my destruction.
I need a safe haven.

This isn't a crush.
It never really was.
Somehow,
Somewhere in my minds eye,
I saw it.
Us

I saw your colors
And I confirmed what I wished.
That you liked me.

Its been almost four months since then,
But, based on how much we've grown,
It could be eternity.

This isn't a schoolgirl crush.
And this isn't anything I've felt before.
This is real.

I think... This might be true love.

I can see it all.
The eyes show me.
The lives, emotions, pains and pleasures
Of others.
They are all painted in landscapes.
Forests: light or dark.
Rivers: murky or clear.
Skies: colorful or colorless.
Every shade
Every swirl
Tells a story.
Every flicker in your eyes tell me,
Show me,
The beauty of your mind.

It is not three millimeters.
Or maybe it is
And its symbolic.
A short distance compared to
The mile that is my life.

No. Its the
Three Month Mark.
The thing I'm scared of.
Every time I've tried something,
And I've been happy,
It ends at three.
Three something.
Hours,
Days,
Weeks,
or Months.

We've passed a few of those,
But "months" is coming.
Fast.
I hope it's wrong.

Lets see how skilled you are as a poet. Comment ONE word that means something to you along with an explanation. That one word will then be the title of a new poem and the explanation being the subject. Does anyone want to try? I will.

Intuition. Following logic in most circumstances is not really my thing. I seem to follow my instinct and do what the energy around me guides me to do.
__

It's addicting.
Your love, I mean.
Your touch.
And the way your body
Reacts to mine.

Our shudders and deep sighs.
Laughs and smiling kisses.
My lips on your skin.

And that face you make,
You know the one.

It all comes to mind and soon
To my body when you
Touch my bare skin.

What if
I was insane?
I would hear whispers,
Yell back at them,

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

But they'd stay.
Crying.
Telling me I'm heartless,
And that they're lonely.

'Then don't be.
That's what got me here,
In this room,
Alone
Again'

What if it was different?
What if
I was sane?

threetypes:mentalpainfulbeautiful

"Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me."
All parents and teachers say so,
But they are wrong.
And they know it.
I've heard it all.
Fake,
Emo,
Suicidal freak.
It's true.
I am, but
I don't want people to know.
That's why I wear my mask.
Everyone says it's beautiful,
But if they saw the horror underneath...

My mind is broken,
And if my mask is broken, too,
I'll prove it to you.

I'm having the nightmares yet again.
And I've changed the word because dream implies
A good thing.
It used to be, but...
Now I have you to look forward to.

Texts every morning
And every night.
Poems that show me you.
And you constantly telling me I'm cute,
And tickling me to embarrass me
Because my laugh sounds like a goat.

You saved me.

I told you I've tried.
The second time...
Only a few days before this began.
And, after that,
I never wanted to try again,
Even if my disease told me otherwise.

whatthehelldididoandhowdoifixit

somanywordsiwishicouldsay.frozen

Randomly pin my arms above my head
And kiss me senseless.
Hug me from behind when I'm at my locker.
Whisper that you love me in a stage whisper
so everyone can hear.
Grab my hands and twirl me in circles.
Wrestle me down and tickle me until i can't breathe.
Write my name across your hand
And sign your name on my neck.
Forget everything people say and go for it,
Because no one would do a better job than you.

The way you kissed me,
Deep isn't the woods...

It made me feel dizzy.

I was flying,
Crying,
Dying.
Because you stopped.


*I never wanted it to end.

Sticks, Stones, Broken Bones.
Words aren't supposed to hurt us.
We are so naive.

If I was a snake,
I'd wrap myself around you
And caresssss your sssskin with my forked tongue.
And love the way you react to
My cold, hard scales.

Now I know.
I am as safe as a secret.

Some will spread me like jam and eat me alive,

Some will savor the sweetness, taste here and there, and love me.

But who is who?

I want to die.
Tell me,
Is it possible?
Can I do it myself?
Or will I be judged.
Ignorant little pests
Who belong to a certain religion
Tell me I'd go to hell.

But I'm already there.
And I can not escape.

My one
And only
Real Hell,

Has been in my head
The whole time.

So much meaning behind so few words.
A story, mostly hidden, yet to be told.

I'll share it with you, if you wish.

Hidden in poetry is
A past,
A present,
A wished-for future,
And pain.
So much pain.
And love.
So much love.

It contradicts itself, mostly.
A beautiful song, sung by the pen and paper,
That shows horrific, or beautiful, things.

I'll show them both to you, if it is so desired.
I have both, now at least.
Don't you see?
The beauty, love, and surrender hidden in these words
Are for you.
You are my inspiration,
Poetry is... *My escape.

I like you.
That's all there is to it.
I like you.
But we can't.
I'm still young.
But so are you.
My mother doesn't approve.
Yours?
Its because of experience.
Your experience.
But is that it?
Or is it because...
You are a girl, too?

no one KNOWs
THE person i am
the REASON i am who i am
WHY i love who i love
why i care to know how YOU feel
only i know the reason why i **LIVE

The pressure behind my eyes
Will not give.
But I know the dam is breaking.
I just need a push.
Someone to say something,
Or do something that makes me
Cry.

Normally, coffee
gifts you with an energy
buzz. I am immune.

I woke up this morning
And my first thought was you.
An image of your face is imprinted
In my mind
And I saw you.

Its happened every morning since
You first kissed me,
And I told you I loved you.

Unaware of your effect,
I welcomed it.
The kiss that seemed to solve
Anything.
Now that I know,
I'm addicted.
Your taste,
Your touch,
Your voice,
Everything.
And more of these
Are yet to be discovered.

My skin is hot.
I can feel it.

But my bones are cold.

Shivers are sent down my spine
And I know I am shaking.

The only thing I can think of is
You.
Your scent
Your energy
Your touch
Your voice
Lingers around me and dances with my senses.
I am burning for you,
But I feel cold.

I could feel it.
When you told me,
I could feel it.
And I felt like I could really smile.

Your name rolls off of my tongue now.
It seems
Normal
For you to be a part of my life.
To be a part of me.

This will last.
I know it will.
Because I believe in our ability
To fight for it.

To let my name roll off of your tongue, too.
Because its natural.
*Right.