A place that is rarely closed,
And welcomes all with their woes,
With a light and a beer,
Everyone is equal and entitled here,
The Pouncer Briest and his menagerie,
Opens the door to freaks and geeks to partake in the breath seeing pageantry,
Say nothing at all or all too much,
And leave when you want,
You won't hear a curse or a taunt,
The neon lights are faded ideals that have been all but snuffed oot,
Half the draw and 50% of the appeal,
That brings our lost souls with lanterns to forget what we feel,
Enough food for thought,
withoot ever getting a free meal,
And nothing feels really real,
So put on your masks and keep your names,
Have a smoke and a beer to forget the pains,
Come one, come all,
The Sanctuary has placed the call.

She had the eyes that burnt your core,
And she says with a face you never expected,
"You should never face the devil with clear eyes,
Right?"
Hopelessly romantic and awkward,
Endlessly addicted to chat rooms when bored,
While the stories would become true,
And I taking advantage,
Saying sweet nothings to people that never existed,
(except when real)
Just feeling only when only the greatest feeling,
You take what is your accepted ceiling,
Eventually you only crave the stories and not of the people,
And "fall in love with every girl that shows you the least bit of attention"
He smiles at heartbreak,
And fights finality with lies
But hates staying,
They can't face the devil with clear eyes.

Hey kid,
keep your chin up and head held high,
for this is the year you realize a dream,
of being a normal person and you will know what I mean,
appreciate the somewhere over a rainbow,
and hold onto the truths you thought were long gone,
you are a hard worker with a bad business plan,
but cherish the two people that will always be your biggest fans,
dont discount the wisdom of mom and dad,
but remember you are allowed to mistakes and adventures,
that they (specially mom) might see as bad,
get drunk with Driven and appreciate every set list you play,
remember to appreciate the day,
and that paradise comes too slow and is gone too fast,
appreciate amount of times you tell yourself,
you saw the most beautiful girl, as an hourly toast,
remember your experiences with random poets that cant rhyme for ****,
and singers that told you that your writing is too good to quit,
hold onto the walks on the phone,
getting to remember every graffiti and every drain,
remember the taste of fear and the rain,
tell a transvestite they are cute without realizing what you are saying,
and remember that your last bar tab means you CAN't leave withoot paying,
even though you do(not on purpose),
remember to smile at every hobo,
and never forget the words to "Sweet Caroline",
Keep in mind how much your friends mean to you,
regardless if it is Jernastos or Driven,
but even your Hello Poetry stalker too,
rejoice in the fact you will know what it feels like to be in love again,
even if it something that doesnt work out in the end,
cherish the nights she made you feel like age never existed,
and how you woke up every morning with a craving in your heart,
you had to force reboot and restart,
feel the sand between your fingers,
and the burgers on your tounge,
the taste only a Hawaiian PalMal can bring,
but most of all,
dont forget to sing,
sing loudly,
sing loudly when no one is around,
sing loudly when there is a little light you found,
take pictures with strangers,
and put yourself in very new dangers,
you are doing fine kid,
so keep your head up and smile,
because in a short while,
you will be in and out of a paradise,
writing a poem to "Somewhere over the rainbow"
smiling too big,
because you know
that you were the kid you were writing to,
a year ago.

It's late and I don't know why I am writing,
What demons am I fighting?
The mourning of a past,
Filled with "regrets and gratitude",
And a dance never asked,
Another drink to pass the time,
Another cigarette to fill an empty line,
Drummers that don't have anything to say,
And singers filled with too much nostalgia,
I can't shake it,
What else is there but another cart to gather,
Making sense like a shampoo that doesn't lather,
Try to be the former and less the latter,
No sense.

Mysterious may I see you smile,
I know it's been a while,
and you think it's lost,
to your heart that has been overcome with an exhausting frost,
I have a silly picture I found,
so make a small giggle or some kind of sound,
to know you will be ok.

Mysterious may I give you this dance,
and show you that by happenstance,
you have a friend that will listen to your greatest laid plans,
even though you hate the blueprints,
and show you that friendship doesnt come in midnight stints,
of only needing someone to unload an emotional burden upon.

Mysterious may I be your loudly sang music,
when the world tells you that you cant sing for ****,
let me show you that your voice is amazing,
not because of tune, harmony or rhythm,
but because it lets you exhaust your overflowing stress system,
that everyone needs to release.

Mysterious may I be your nostalgic future,
memories that you will hold onto long when you are old,
the midnight cigarette you light to get the feeling of being a kid,
the feeling of the reminder that you are strong and bold,
and even though you feel like you are beyond your years,
let me be the one to tell you a ***** joke,
to show you that you can always be forever young,
and to laugh that you just liked the smell of the smoke,
because of the memories that dance around with it hanging in the air.

Mysterious may I be here,
to watch you grow,
you hate what I know,
and love what I say,
may I show you that I am here to stay,
to show you that you are just in the first act of an unscripted play,
and what ever way and whatever the lines you choose to say ,
you decide to do what will break the already to straight of a face.

Mysterious may I show you that you are something more,
you arent just a face in a text book or eye's blurry and sore,
a person of great might,
because even the smallest meteorite,
has a brilliant flame as it descends from the darkness.

Mysterious most of all may I be your friend,
because in the end,
know one knows whats around the bend,
but at least we will have someone else,
who will enjoy the ride.

Dear the girl over there,
I dont mean to stare,
its hard not to,
I know I really dont know you,
and you havnt made the move,
but you havnt stopped smiling either,
maybe together we can make new believers,
to love in a place that seems to being loosing a lot,
So lets grab hands and go to a spot,
where we can sing loudly and whisper things no one cares aboot,
I'll get my suit,
you get your dress,
and we will destroy the all you can eat buffet and laugh at our mess,
So take my hand and we will go to the moon,
and make the lovers that swoon,
all jealous that we dont try so hard,
so consider me a tuneless bard,
with bad rhymes,
and fly by the seat of your pants
and take a chance,
it will be fun,
I promise.

Under a new night sky,
Wondering if my past is a life that I didn't let die,
Or a reason to remind me how to feel alive,
Is it the gear that lets me drive,
Or is it a parking brake,
A new night sky,
With the same twinkle,
A new cup and different wrinkles,
Still the goofy smile,
And the anticlimactic trial,
That the jury is still oot,
Long days are long days,
And what they say are still what they says,
The night sky hasn't changed,
And the writing still feels a little deranged,
It's still the past stars,
And the flashing lights of karaoke bars,
Just more cowboy hats,
I'm still adjusting to my same night sky,
And the past is a story that is a disastrously beautiful lie,
That I didn't let die,
Because my future depends on it

Dear normalcy and all the freedoms it brings,

It's midnight in paradise,
And I leave tomorrow,
Just time to borrow,
The memories I have earned,
And live the experiences I've learned,
I sit on my balcony with the glimmer of Honolulu,
Shaking and shimmering,
As if to sing,
"We will meet again"
So time to hold on,
And time to let go,
In my heart I already know,
That I am making what will be kept as the good ol' days,
A chapter and not just a brief but brilliant faze,
I make my next turn in the all time greatest maze,
I'll sit here and play the "what's going on in that apartment" game and sleep,
Because it's midnight in paradise,
And I take off tomorrow.

It's snowing,
And the blood is pumping and flowing,
How did I get here?
Was it due to anger, or fear?
I just remember a card game,
And a bad hangover,
There's a man preaching and I can't see,
I guess this is perfect for me,
I asked for a shot,
But they gave me a bottle,
I asked to see the mountains,
And they poured the whiskey down my throat,
And cut eye holes,
I can't complain but still called them goats,
Or *******,
It's gotten blurry,
The snow kicks up in a flurry,
Guess we all got that time,
But no one has got a watch,
Life always ends with a knot,
Of things we did and should have not,
The sun breaks as twilight sets in behind the mountains,
As if God himself is pulling up a chair,
And taking a seat,
The ground opens up beneath my feet.
And it all fades to black,
With the sound of a snap.

Flipping another page,
But I already know that the words sound gross,
I hate my position and the cards been dealt,
The feelings that were felt,
And the hand I took,
Made me have to relook,
At what's in store,
We can't see it as a volcano,
On a distant island,
But man its tough to see the helicopter,
Made of sticks,
I promised that my heart never quits,
So ill dig my toes in the sand,
Outside my heartbreak hotel,
And watch as my emotional Malibu,
Goes to hell.

Five words that make my heart smile,
"it's time for Dodger baseball",
He says in the same voice,
That has lasted the many generations by choice,
It's hot and the traffic thick,
Just passing magic mountain so quick,
I'm young and my dad,
Asks if I know what is going on,
It's 510 ktla,
And I know I have the memories messed,
But here we are blessed,
With the one am that plays his voice,
All by choice,
Even if there were other stations that dial my dad wouldn't touch on a dare,
At the time I didn't care,
But I hear ol' Vin saying it's going, going,
Gone.
Some no name,
Game,
That doesn't even matter now,
But forever instead,
The game the game and the voice that,
got us through the end of the hills,
And the beginning of grapevine,
Will always be in my head,
This is 510 KTLA(orwhatitactuallywas)
What another great game
This my friends is Dodger baseball,
As it fades to static.

My hands are shaking,
The smile is no longer faking,
Sweaty after a realization of my dark lungs,
No longer caving to drown the the butterfly chained to a ball and chain in my gut,
I put down the bottle and pick up my sneaks,
Perspiration leaks,
As I wheeze,
The butterfly is set free,
And I feel like for the first time i can taste the breeze,
Shakey knees,
And a new song to sing,
Grabbing the new beat,
So I take off my shoes,
Step inside the fresh door,
Starting again with a smirking core,
With my hands that won't stop shaking,
And a smile I'm no longer faking.

Their ghost smiles,
And always existing files,
Haunt my dreams,
I see him play,
I hear her say,
"I love you dad"
Empty swings in a park,
That mock me by still dances in the dark,
I call out but I know they aren't real,
A darkness that feels,
I can feel their warmth and fright in my dream,
But when I try to hold tighter,
They evaporate into steam,
I guess fate likes to mock me,
When all I see are whatmighthavebeens,
We will see each other soon.

Another night,
Messages on Skype,
Laughing at robotic replies,
A robot that needs to deny,
And then sends a link to a webcam site,
He likes to laugh at his own responses
Every night,
He tells the ai you are violating the three laws,
But all he hears is his own laughing applause,
Same 4 responses he reads everytime,
But nevertheless he comes up with a more and more witty line,
He gets fired and drinks more,
The messages are coming in but still the same 4 responses from the night before,
Then drunk and sad wanting to throw his phone,
He gets a message saying, "come see my **** cams baybay"
He types in all caps, "*******!
LEAVE ME ALONE YOU PROGRAM, SPECIALLY TODAY"
The robot responds,
"Are you ok?"

I am the pillow you scream into,
the wall you are punching through,
the highway you are speeding,
a hand on your shoulder,
the reminder that you exist,
I am the words, "******* world!"
with undertones of it being alright,
I am the rock you skip,
the ground that forces you to sit,
because your legs quit,
the perfect song playing at the worst times,
and the perfect poem with the worst rhymes,
I am the sigh of relief,
and the sun shining when the clouds are out,
I am the smile when you need to pout,
the distance,
and late night phone calls from friends you forgot,
but never stopped loving,
I am the photographs you hold,
and what the drug dealers sold,
I am the start it all over new,
I am the pillow you scream into.

A car flips over and crashes through my wall,
a person in red,
with eyes of a thousand pasts,
and a smile of relatability,
they ask if I wanted to take their place,
in a game space,
I ask what I need to do,
a scavenger hunt,
without the first clue,
so I took the car and drove wherever there was sky that was blue,
I met them and saw you,
everyone was 5 steps ahead and working,
towards some kind of end,
so letters and conversations I send,
asking where to begin,
no one can tell me because no body knows,
they just know they are beyond a step,
a step of feeling blue,
because they at least have the first clue,
and I am just going through the hole in my wall,
and going back to bed.

I saw him at the bar,
ordering the drinks that I order,
he's spilling drinks with my friends,
but I keep drinking alone at the bar,
he danced and said things that made 'em laugh,
I say that they aren't laughing with him,
but I keep drinking at the bar,
he smiles and waves and I think I'm gonna puke,
I fill up the sink and my head tossed in,
look to the left and see him again,
head in the water too,
I think why does he look like a clown,
take my head oot of the water and see,
a reflection of a clown staring at me,
I take another drink at the bar alone

Woke up early,
Put on the work outfit
brushed my whites pearly,
Left my backpack at the stop,
Booked it back,
Found my pack,
Reached in my pocket to grab my pen,
Found it had exploded,
What then!?
Boss doesn't respond,
And I just need to be at a pond,
Not thinking about where I am going,
Not thinking about what I will sow,
A easy day would be nice,
To much to think, but does entice,
Just need to be at that lake,
Need to be at that parking garage,
But I am in traffic watching the clock,
What else can this day bring?
A ring on my phone and I'm not answerin,
Boss leaves a voicemail blarin,
Ignored it till I got there,
Walked in with a blank stare,
Wonderin' when life will be fair,
Changin' somethin,
Thinking aboot nothin',
Getting that carpal tunnel,
Then go to sleep,
Trying to shut my mind off to answers I know I can't seek,
Guess it's just another day in the week,
So I try to focus on the music and the beat,
****,
I don't know what else to say,
Cept that it's only ******* Monday.

It was the moment,
In between when the mushrooms kicked in,
And my heart blowing oot,
As heaven was destroying and rebuilding,
All the holes,
The music took hold,
And my smile made me bold,
The car ride seemed so far,
But closing my eyes I realized I am already there,
Scenes playing like a movie I had seen,
Just all of the sets aren't the same,
And all the actors have different names,
The smile is still there

I walked into the dark cafe,
or was it bar?
thick with smoke, blood and confidence,
you could only see so far,
but I could see angst looking at their glass,
and nostalgia was dazed,
stuck thinking aboot yesterdays,
forever searching through a maze,
with no exit,
sadness is sitting with anxiety,
in between silences they talk aboot society,
while happiness tells me to smile,
with a certain style,
I tell them I need a beer,
or was it a coffee?
I do smile.
Anger comes up and tries to start a fight,
but redemption feeling the need to do right,
breaks it up,
To much noise and a black eye,
I say with a smiling sigh,
Time to write.

I miss,
everyone I have ever met,
all at the same time,
nostalgic faces I don't know,
forever and
tonight.

I stare at camera and say my final signoff,
"it's been wonderful America, and we'll chat tomorrow night"
30 years and a lot of fight,
I got to this point,
but I question why did I really want to read the news,
to show people different views?
but I'm not the one writing the script,
I guess I was always a pretty face,
and a deep voice,
why didn't I make the choice?
where I could show what really matters,
it's my final sign off,
and my integrity and local stardom may fade,
but it is ok,
with all the money I have made.

When it rains here,
there is no lightning, nor thunder to fear,
like a tear,
without the shakey voice,
you have the choice,
hide under a tree,
or let everyone one see,
you embrace the sadness,
you embrace the storm,
feeling the cold but accepting the warm,
shout at the clouds,
I'm not leaving!
as the sun shines,
and the tears are just lines,
you will smile knowing,
that when you feel the wind blowing,
and the rain makes you feel like a wet pup,
you can accept it.

I always fall,
into someone's soul,
everytime I am here.

Another bus ride,
Seeing the cities as a tide,
Taking it in for a brief moment,
Witnessing humanity's atonement,
A collective of its wonder,
As the streets and the construction ring across the ocean like thunder,
But as I sit I also pay attention to it's greatest blunder,
Old lady,
Standing while a young person stares down at a phone,
Do they see her?
But a kid in the back,
Grabs her bag and helps her into the seat,
In one simple feat,
The balance of human's plays in synch,
I stand with headphones in,
My eyes absorbing life that exists,
On this small city bus,
The enchantment flirting with love and lust
My music is playing my soundtrack,
To their lives

I'm outside of nowhere,
Knocking on door,
You're going to ask what's in store?
But I couldn't tell you,
It's white, but glows black and blue,
with nothing holding it,
But still standing like it is a good fit,
I knock again,
Like a writer with a pen,
I feel like I will be happy once I go in,
But nervous because of how it might end,
Feeling a deep breath escape,
It opens.

I saw,
a man in a wheelchair,
carrying,
a stepladder.

The devil is in the diner,
Asking if I want more coffee,
Telling me it's free,
I answer that I think I have had enough,
an angel sitting courtside says,
havnt we all?
the ball is gone and a car crash begins,
because in the end who really wins,
she pours me another,
and she hands me another beer,
what am I to make?
with an everyday that everything is at stake?
the music is playing on the jukebox,
the music is playing on the loudspeaker,
but the demon in the car,
and my Savior sitting close,
do I do what I purpose?
she smiles while I place down my tip,
and cheers when the team has won,
I guess in the end,
I can always take more.

I really do have my moments of guilt,
But also too afraid to lose what we have built,
Are you playing a game, and I don't know the position?
Or is this a transition to something great,
And night I'm alone and it's myself I hate,
But when I wake up to a clenched phone,
still smiling about the dream of me and you,
And a bench,
It, like the day, has been renewed,
So should I stay selfish and unflinching,
Even though the protests and picket signs,
Are crossing over to my mind,
Or realize,
That I never want to have a day,
Where I can't say,
Good morning, and I won't leave,
No matter what come,
And I am here to stay.
Maybe we both need to hear that for once in our lives,
Someone isn't leaving.

I desire to see what holds tomorrow,
but I dread it will end in sorrow,
it just might,
I desire to love you once again,
but I dread it's inevitable end,
who's to say it will?
I desire to stay here tonight,
and dread the dreams that end in sweat and fright,
maybe we are just playing a game,
I desire to hear your voice even when it's dead,
but I dread when we are just wait for what needs to be said
it has a chance to work,
I desire to wait,
but I dread it's fate,
I look down,
are there no more?
is this just the fates trying to show their power?
I will pick up another flower.

Dear my small world,
It's early and teenagers are walking to school,
the sun is warm and cool,
my eyes are closing as I pass them by going the other way,
my old friend creeps on me and reminds me of a spring mountain day,
being those kids walking slow,
not knowing the episode,
but enjoying the show,
their mountains are just a brighter green,
my old friend gets in my stomach and the top he tends to lean,
the smells of anxiety and the fear of uncompleted homework,
make me smile,
I pass by swings and see my world become night,
and two kids in Florida are in my sight,
talking aboot nonsense but still returning to smile and laugh,
it becomes funny and two drunk kids in Reno take their place,
I can tell who they were but I couldn't see a face,
my old friend creeps to my mouth and my past I can taste,
I suddenly am on the swings holding my hand in front,
staring at a star,
reaching out with one eye closed I feel like I can grab it,
my eyes open and I almost take oot some teenager,
something's die hard I say,
and they look the other way,
and say, "ok crazy",
the past maybe getting hazy,
but the feelings never die.

I waited,
at times I debated,
feeling like a teenager aboot to go on their first date,
I had work the next day but didn't care if I had to stay up late,
it was going to be the first time I saw you,
and nothing was going to stop me,
it was an electricity that I couldn't put down ,
and my breath was gone as if there any need for air,
I saw you
and I couldn't help but stare,
the night was slow but gone to fast,
like trying to remember a face from your past,
I need you is all I could muster to say,
and I won't call tomorrow a day,
how could I when I won't be able to see your smile
brighter than the sun,
so I will keep tonight inside my heart but never oot of sight,
I'll say that I still have walls, but that is a lie,
Like headlines written in the night sky,
of my life,
you have become permanent.

Dear my hopeful tomorrow,
I walk the streets during the day and during the night,
for you to take away my sorrow,
its hidden but still there,
and I feel you kiss me with rain in the air,
time and people move slow here,
like they know the date but forgot the year,
so I keep the headphones pressed in my ear,
wondering yet smiling, how did I get here,
tomorrow will be beautiful I say,
as the clouds and rain tell me you're going to stay,
I can dance with a memory,
but feeling down and low,
I smile as I hold my hand oot,
and ask like a geek for you to dance,
my hopeful tomorrow

Dear nostalgic memories,
I think of you as the wind smiles into a breeze,
almost like this sleeping city is making it ease,
lights are coming to life as my cigarette is dying,
the sleepy warmth and moonlight glow,
is something I am starting to love, to know,
watching from my own little spot,
a sense of ease and a feeling of dread,
come sweeping in waves inside my head,
to feel longing for what has been said and done,
and a hope for what is to come,
I am like the dancing dead,
I should be asleep and in bed,
but the lack of comic mischief,
and cosmic drama,
are keeping me away,
making my little stairwell,
one of my many pieces of heaven,
in a life that can feel like hell,
so I will sit here and pay the price,
of not sleeping tonight and not waking tomorrow,
because I can feel the ocean breeze, and for once in a long time in my life,
I can say,
I just feel nice.

We walked in to darkness,
putting off what we both know what it will bring,
as sadness began to flare, and anxiety started to sing,
we both looked up to stars,
knowing it's one thing that has always healed our scars,
I began to cry a bit,
knowing it was going to be a while till we got to sit,
and talk aboot how many views we got that day,
I said I love where the middle star in Orion sits,
because the darkest spot in the night sky,
is a lie,
its a gateway to every thing that has ever come to pass,
and as our cigarettes came to an, I was praying the final drags would last,
we smiled at each other with a knowing,
that in the morning I would be going,
with a sigh I put the night to and end,
talking aboot the pictures each of us need to send,
we said good night, with a belly full of lead,
the conversation never ends, but the cigarette is dead,
and we say,
sleep well and see you in the morning,
looking at you with eyes full of sad, we say I'll talk to you later,
but in my heart I am saying,
I love you Dad.

You asked me why we couldnt have met ten years sooner,
and asking if maybe you should go,
but I say no matter what I know,
I'll love someone I cant possibly be with,
you virtually hold me tight and tell me,
"it's alright"
I wont let go and I want you to know,
even if I am naive,
I dont want you to leave,
I want another text saying, "Its ok"
it will be ok even if we dont want it to be,
I danced with fire and I kissed the ice,
I'll say it thrice,
I love you,
I love you,
I love you,
but it wont change the miles,
and it wont change the mean whiles,
just dont let go and everything will be ok I swear,
because as a sweater I'll wear,
your messages and your love,
and be comfortable as the sunrise begins to show its face,
on doomsday

My biggest hope,
collides with my greatest love,
what is there to cope,
when the realest thing you know,
is your greatest foe,
your greatest dream,
clashing with your greatest desire,
setting your soul on fire,
I just am split,
needing to think and sit,
voice getting low,
and them trying to make you feel like your the world,
but my world was building up to it,
bit by bit,
I have craved them,
but there is no going back,
because my heart doesnt know truth from fact,
I want to have it the most,
to beable to boast,
saying, "this is mine world and it will be greater than I could ever dream",
stuck inside which side to fight for and which side to lean,
I need to contemplate,
which one is right,
which one will be with me in the end of the night,
they have experienced the awesome bliss,
of someone that they always miss,
and I am just standing still,
what happens when you have to decide your thrill,
to decide your future on one or more,
there is no rhyme to help, no score,
so I just end up feeling sore,
and sad,
because I have to decide between a love I dont want to let go,
or a son or daughter I may never know.

That was it,
my greatest fear,
bringing my greatest tear,
a old man unable to keep his hands still,
there is no cure, no pill,
to make it stop,
he stood there unable to stop the shaking,
unable to to be the one faking,
its getting worse and I can feel it,
I can see not being able to write a little bit,
and I am terrified.
My future standing in front of me,
like seeing an island when out to sea,
I know I will get there,
so I keep my hopes up and down I stare,
at the man who can't stop or grip a pen,
there is a now and always a then,
and my fate of being unable to do,
wishing to stop and feel new,
but I have to accept,
I'll be that old man too

He says good morning and sits alone,
She sits surrounded by people but feels alone,
He checks his phone,
And smiles,
She is thinking aboot the miles,
But they forget,
He has nothing set,
She has everything but still feels upset,
And they havnt even met,
He has regrets he can't forget,
She takes a drag of a cigarette
Another day is passing,
He feels everything massing,
She feels done,
But looks at her kids to feel the sun,
He's going down a dead end street,
She is cleaning to a beat,
And they are both going a hundred miles,
To the end of meanwhiles,
That should be real,
He looks with lonesome eyes at every meal,
She's trying to remember what it means to feel,
They will not meet,
But still they smile all the same,
This show will end lame,
But it started with an alright scene

Some day,
you will,
see me on the history channel

I am Scott Pilgrim withoot,
getting the awkward happy ending.

Little light around,
and this highways empty sound,
is playing with the tune in a way,
that makes it start to seem real,
I really don't know what to feel,
but the mountains are off in the distance reasoning with my new day,
but Bob Dylan is singing to me, "a simple twist of fate"
I can't help but smile.

Bathed in darkness and blue light from the monitor,
I realized I loved you,
danced with the black and integrated in ink,
I realized I loved you,
it wasnt until tonight when I say on my bed,
I realized I loved you,
when I held my breath during every pause,
I realized I loved you,
you are far away, but I watch the moon as you do and at that moment,
I realized I loved you,
I wanted to say it to you but the words slink and slide like my tongue has turned to sand,
I realized I loved you,
holding hands with my own fate and accepting the fact it happened,
I realized I loved you,
and I am alright with that.

Drunk on nostalgia,
and longing for the past,
looking at who is still my friend,
and the ones gone too fast,
I miss them all,
but I dont want any of them here,
but then again my courage out weighs my fear,
and I see it all so beautifully clear,
what I would do to hear that smile,
or see that laugh,
feel that giggle,
and dance during math,
to have stories of yet to comes,
and what dreams we have with the future suns,
friends of guys and girls,
sending my world into swirls,
and dancing with the flame,
the band maybe different, but the music is still the same,
we all just have a new name,
that is a representation of the yesterdays,
and I miss the the future and past figuring's of today's faze,
nostalgia is weighing the other half of my couch down,
as it is my friend, my smile and my frown,
I'd push them all away,
if I didnt know they were here to stay,
so I might as well enjoy the ride,
because life is just a rock skipping on a pond,
thrown by a bad hand,
I'll keep saying it along with you,
the next skip is new,
but its the skip behind that I'll think aboot in the next few

Smiling while the Earth breaks around me,
its covered in shadow,
with little light trying to show,
I say to myself, "this should be a new low"
as fire erupts around me, beautiful chaos, like a mind after a line of blow,
but the darkness tries to take,
it tears and my mind it tries to ****,
but a little light tugging at my side,
forcing the darkness to run and hide,
the wind is rich and full of electricity,
my soul along its edges have burned,
I love the fact that I love you, even if it's not returned.

Smiling through the chaos.

The innocence of a sunrise,
a dance in the middle of the street,
putting on pjs and getting some early morning fries,
a simple love, a love thats new,
watching the sunrise, and staring at the sky while swinging and tasting the blue,
hands getting sweaty,
and nights are too long,
there is no such thing as a sad song,
and if there is, its to remind you what you have left behind,
clouded mind,
full of future times
that always seem so golden
while the past seems to fade away,
a butterfly in the tummy,
its forcing its way through,
a simple love, a love that's new.

It's long past,
and the love wasnt the last,
it was cute and fun,
that made me like everything a little bit better and brighter, including the sun,
it was easy and made sense,
but now we just look over the fence,
at other loves that have made things work,
we may grab hands and say were certain,
but as we around us begins to fall the curtain,
separating our yards,
throwing into the air all 52 cards,
grabbing and screaming at the air,
I do not dare, try and break the steel curtain,
and through the holes I can see her smile,
who knew it would be here and gone so fast,
looking back on the past,
it was a love that couldnt last.

Now every time I see,
lovers saying "I'll never leave",
I get a butterfly forced in my tummy,
it pulls oot its money,
and buys a beer,
flapping around drunk and insecure,
making me stumble and run,
and listen as the song is sung,
making the new songs sound blue,
I miss that simple love,
a love that's new.

I havnt seen you in years,
through the happiness and the tears,
I confer a dream,
it wasnt happy nor mean,
just me asking if you opened your present,
and you looked at me with eyes that made me feel like a wealthy peasant,
we were laying in a field,
you were my guard and I was your shield,
the world around us began to burn,
and I felt like there was something to learn,
so I asked if you had anything left to give,
your hand on my cheek,
you told me to just live,
the answer wasnt the reverse question that I seek,
I held you close and it felt so real,
even though we have always been too far from each other to feel,
you told me you had to go because friends dont do this,
but how could I turn down the loveliness,
I couldnt, and I begged her to stay,
she said this was just a dream and go I had her to let,
I woke up then drenched in sweat,
and my pillow shmooshed against my face,
closing my eyes tight I beg God to let me go back to that place,
to let me back in the field to hold her once more,
but after a while,
my eyes just began to feel sore.

Dear last meaningful kiss,

It's hard to start this,
because long ago I was in such a bliss,
I dont know what to write,
but this cigarette in my sight,
is counting down the end of our night
The guitar is playing its final thoughts
and I reflect on the what to do and not's,
as I start to write the script again.
People stare at me as I write this aloud,
for I want everyone to know, I am not proud,
that this even exists,
but it does.

Your face is what haunts me the most.
When I stare at the coast,
fantasies of memories arise,
but vanish as I feel the falseness of lies,
creep upon me,
like a villain in a play,
but these thoughts I must put away.
They won't get me anywhere.

Except a lonely stare,
into peoples hearts that I seem to try and confide,
but in this rule book I'm writing I must abide,
and leave your side.

I dont think you get what this hurts like,
to ride a bike,
into nothingness of blank words,
that I reflect upon in past writing.
But back to the script I keep fighting,
there is no shading or lighting,
just another poem that I follow.



Dear the love that was never true,

I wonder if your writing too,
or if you even know you,
cause you like to dance around this heartbreak,
like an old soul tries to avoid youth, just for the sake,
sake of wondering what to do next.

As I write this script on my invisible paper,
I have to remember too add the hooded caper,
that's nestled in the shadows, that I frankly never see,
and add reluctantly.
I will look back and think that part wasnt necessary,
but my heart and eyes are wary,
of knowing when to put down my pen.

This will be a sad thing to write,
because night,
is sadly ending,
with the stars starting to fade,
I must abide,
with the fears that reside,
that I must tap onto this screen,
and make sure in this last hurrah, you dont seem mean.




Dear the one who use to be the spark in my nod,

I hear many applaud,
but I wont let myself smile, for this love story shouldn't have ended,
or maybe it hasnt just yet, and just has bended.
Mind is amended,
the wrong doings of past fames,
I can remember the actors I write, but not their names.
As I put my script into print,
and watch the masses on their screen,

"I must say I hate the ending myself,
but it started with an alright scene."


From the heartbroken kid,
with love.