The Masked Sleepyz

Jan 2019

Sjr1000

Memories

Car wheels on a dirt road
She turns off the bedroom light
Turns to face herself on a frozen night
It hasn't gone well
Two marriages two fiancees
One Too Many ****** addicts
Along the way

Please forgive me she tells her kids
Her mother goes to sleep never wakes up
Now their moving her to Tennessee
To be close to a father she never did see
A hard luck story from beginning to end
Molested by a neighbor way back when
Eleven years old, they said he was a friend
My father was a **** beat me with a stick
Children are to be seen not heard
So he said
Respect him
I wanted to wait until he was sleeping,
The cast iron and his head
Bye bye

But I didn't

Prison bound eventually
Trusted a woman undercover
Not too bad
Safer than I've ever been
Worked my job
Did my shift
Otherwise never had to get out of bed

A twist of fate
A neighbor decided I was the one
Took me to a Colorado ranch
Five hours from Santa Fe

Staring into the wood stove
I've never really told him about my past
He never seemed all that interested
One more beer and he'll be fine

Car wheels on a dirt road
The night is slow in winter
She turns off the bedroom light.

The Masked Sleepyz Dec 2018

Misguided Metaphors and Who Knows What the Hell I'm Talking Aboot Anyway

This'll be the last one I write you,
As twilight turns blue,
And black again,
The sun rises eventually,
And the sunset was too beautiful
To miss,
A song on repeat,
That sounds like me,
And feels like you.
I smile at what we had,
You smile at what we became,
Regardless, at least we are smiling.
Deserved love, but undeserved lovers,
But a love nonetheless.
We doubled booked venues,
There isn't a show to steal anymore,
But you're solo act will knock them dead.
I'm proud of what you are,
I'm disappointed that I don't get to act out,
The rest of the scene,
At least it was beautiful while we were on stage.
So, put down the lines,
And turn the page,
This will be the last one that I write for you,
But I look forward to the one,
You write, for you.

Yes, it's pretty *****, but so was the relationship

Nov 2018

Sjr1000

Surrender (Internal Dialogue)

I don't want another Vietnam,
Iraq or Afghanistan

I don't want another wild fire
Flash flood
Or hurricane

I don't want another mass shooting
Famine
Drought
Or
Circumstances which are dire

I don't want to hear
All these cries
I don't want to hear
All these lies
I don't want to know
All these scams
No, I don't want to come over
And hold your hand
I don't want no stinking badge

I don't want a see a magic
Number
I don't want to wake,
come
Out of this slumber

I don't want to know
What I'm supposed to do
Supposed to see
Supposed to be

No, I don't want to
be your friend
I don't want to have to extend
No, I don't want to have this conversation

I just want silence
And the end.

Really
What then?

Blessings they come everyday
In everyway
There is beauty in the lullaby in the winds
The starlings, a river flowing
From this tree to another
The woods green in the fall sun

Which way is it going to be today?

It's going to be
What it's going to be

I don't know

I don't want to know
But it's all a blessing
So they say
Which is it going to be
Today?

Surely one more breath and to our present,
We'll keep on fighting
while we
Surrender.

Nov 2018

Sjr1000

Veterans Day in the USA (Anniversary Repost)

"Soldiers Heart"
Two brothers on their way
one wore blue
and
one wore gray
one came home
one stayed behind
one mother mourns
on a November's day.
212,938
bled and died
on
American soil.

"Irritable Heart"
14 years in the Philippines
far too many days
4200 died
so many miles away.

"Shell Shock"
Johnny got his gun
alive in the tomb
of his mind
no eyes
no ears
no arms
no legs
a beating heart
an active mind
alive
with memories and sensations
Paths of Glory
leads
the way
and 53,402 stay
while one came home.

"Battle Fatigue"
291,557
perished.
Nagasaki got its bomb
six million died
before our fathers and grandfathers
liberated them.

To the 38th Parallel
we did go
where old soldiers
never die
they just fade away
with
time.
33,746 died.

"Stress Response Syndrome"
Apocalypse Now
Jacob had his ladder
in
the jungles of Vietnam
Full Metal Jacket
Born in the USA
homeless veterans
now aged still pay today
while 47,424
lay in their graves.

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder"
My daughter
my son-in-law
bring it all
back home to me
Navy Medics
seven years
they traveled with the Marines
picking up the pieces
as they went their way
many too many trips
for all those young
troops
now we are
seeing
their heroism
proceeding
despite being afraid
a price
dearly
we all pay.
5,282 and still counting.

For all those who have walked in the horrors of war
and the grief too countless to tell.
Let us all pray in our way,
work in our days
for the end of war.

"Soldiers Heart" etc, the evolving terms for what is now known as PTSD.
Two Brothers on their way is a beautiful, beautiful Civil War song. "Two sisters stood by the railroad tracks, one wore blue and one wore black. "

Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo the ultimate anti-war novel, he was later black listed during the McCarthy Hearings.
Paths of Glory, Stanley Kubrick, about WWI.

Apocalypse Now, Francis Ford Coppola (on my top five movie list.)
Jacobs Ladder, Tim Robbins, haunting Vietnam war movie.
Full Metal Jacket, Kubrick again.
Born in the USA, the Boss, Bruce Springsteen.

My daughter, Katie, defines courage proceeding
despite being scared.
Doug's sense of humor and loving heart
he proceeds despite what he has seen.

Originally posted 11/11/14, and the beat goes on.

The Masked Sleepyz Nov 2018

Just needed to write it out

I put off writing this,
For then it becomes,
Real,
Like a scared kid with a,
Shadow in the room,
I chose to hide from it,
But pictures of pieces,
Still loom,
The surround sound sad songs,
Have all started rhyming the same,
And the soliloquies have all gone
Silent,
I'm just trying to be happy for you,
But even when thoughts drift away,
The feelings linger,
Crooked parkway signs,
And certain looks,
In young lovers eyes,
Sounds,
Bring it all back,
It is real,
And I'm just trying to be happy for you,
Memorial officials to weddings,
In dances of words,
No one,
But you,
Will understand,
Promises of undone cigarettes,
With entwined mountain town dreams,
And names like June,
Prayers in a house that reads,
"Isnt death always at a funeral"
We will move on from fantasy and foreplay,
Because It is real,
And,
I will be happy for you tomorrow,
Today,
I just need to be sad.

Oct 2018

Sjr1000

My Walking Rose

She's my walking rose
Walking down the road
Discussing right and wrong
Trying to figure out how to stay strong

She wants to grow,
She wants to know
How it's supposed to go,
She turns her color on
Turns a shade of pink yellow white black or red
Only the rose knows,
walking as she goes,
her time is brief
she thinks maybe that's a relief

Her road is long
When she's in the middle of it,
She knows though
It's all a dream as it passes on by.

My rose
She wilts in the dawn
Rises in the night,
I tell her I have one more road to go
My walking rose
She whispers, "I know."

The Masked Sleepyz Sep 2018

Community Bridges- Visions of an Almost Pasts

It's raining,
Ambulance sirens drown the,
Silent slumber,
No one is on the road,
A mobile maddance,
Mad chanced,
Or mild happenstance,
No change,
But the toll keeper keeps,
Jingling coins,
What have you got to pay?
The windowless hospital waits,
With a unacknowledged anxiety,
No one is on the road,
Will this be the last time or,
Are you trying to make,
Every one stare longer,
The rain wont stop,
Shot, shot, shot,
Drip, drip, drip,
It'll be a few days,
Till the rain,
Decides to quit,
The toll keeper has better things to do.
And the ambulance rolls on.