Not
Alpaca
Just
Llama

What did I do
to deserve such
pointless love from you?
Don't get me wrong, I love you forever but
what you give me
means nothing. It's not
even love it's friendship.

I have dreams.
Oh, yes I have tons.
They will never come
True, that's why
They're dreams. I
Have dreams of
Being in your arms but
That won't happen because
You're not mine. I have
Dreams of becoming a performer,
Singer, being in the spotlight but
I can't do that because of my
Anxiety and all the scars on my
Arms and legs.
People say never doubt your
Dreams, but I say give up on them
Before they become an obsession.

The irony.
Your name's
Hope and you
Have none.

The sadness consumes me,
Buries me alive.
I can't even tell you
The last time I
Was happy. Every
One tells me we have
Our ups and downs.
So why have I been
Down for so many years?
I hear all the time,
"You choose to be happy or sad."
Is I could choose to be
Happy trust me I'd be
There. Those people are
The ones with the perfect
Lives, no problems.
They don't get flashbacks,
Have anxiety attacks, are
Depressed. They don't know
What it's like. As Hope
Once told me, "Now days
People cut over dumb little
Things like their goldfish dying,
These people could never
Handle a day in our shoes."

We all strive for perfection
Not even knowing what it is.
We all want the next best
Thing, clothes, shoes, people.
That's human nature.
We all want perfection,
But no one can have it.

I've always had an
Deep love for eyes.
They tell me so much.
They aren't just a color.
They show emotion.
I know when you're
Sad, mad, happy, excited,
Just from your eyes.
Now all I see is
Pain and hatred.
Eyes can give me more
Words than you can.
I know how you feel
About me... Just from
Your eyes.