Swirling, dancing emotion drenched
Hues
Licking the pure unscarred ground
Behind them a trail of unmistakable
Blue
Falling raining
Splashing sound
The only noise to be found
In the colorless room
A dash here
A line there
Her story told through
A swift movement of the hand
An expression of the mind
Silence of the tongue

Coming to an end
But hey all good things must
Short and memorable like a song.
Even after it's over the words
Echo in your mind.
Leaving you wishing you could hear
It once more.
to fall asleep with your
Headophones on, that one song on repeat but
No matter what you do
Deep in your heart you know
No other song can satisfy the cravings
You cry
Alas it was a song on the radio
Streaming through the hazy summer day
A name you never caught
Looking back with longing
You hope to find that song once more

Gray and faded
Cold crisp edges
The crunchy of fallen leaves under our feet
The only warmth found here is a
Chic charcoal coast fastened with bulky brown buttons
My milky vanilla bean coffee
And your hand holding my own
A shy smile given to me as you glance over
And brush the hair out of my face
That had been misplaced by the cold winds
In that moment
The clouded skies and birds heading south
The foreboding winds and icy water filled with fallen gray hues,
Even the scent of my favored drink
Escaped me as time froze
In the dark world around me the only color i found,
Was deep within those espresso bean eyes.
Captivated in that moment, I couldn't move
As his soft lips embraced my own
Oh sweet satisfaction.
Just as i went to kiss his back
I shuddered awake.

I asked if it was night
and he replied ney
he untied my blindfold
and showed me the day.
The dead leaves around me
contrasted the sky
but amongst them appeared and adorable guy
He asked for my hand
a date would you please
I froze and said yes
may love set us free

I lay there,

Hand entangled with his

And we watch

As the specks of light go in and out of visibility,

Too this day I question if,

They really are just masses of fire in the night sky

Or passed on souls smiling

On young lovers such as him and I

White dust seems to come in with the breeze

Slowly as first then we watched

As the moonlight danced in the wind above our heads

Time began to freeze

He gazed down at my head resting on his chest

Soft hands moved golden hair out of my face then

A gentle kiss is shared

Though the night was cold

I could feel the spark in my heart

Warm every inch of my being

Although it could’ve just as easily

Been his arms wrapped around me

I open my eyes

Regretting my very actions

Alarm clock blaring

I try to forget the dream I awoke from

And just as I went to kiss him back,

He led me to the grass and we watched as the stars

Dance above our heads.

My eyes grew weary and I lay my head on his chest

And listened to his hearts beating

The more I listened to his

The more I wish I hadn’t

Trusted my own

He was broken, like I had been not so long ago

We stood up and he left me,

Just as I had left the boy who chased me down on the beach

At this point I don’t know what to feel anymore.

The moon is gone, but the twinkling stars gaze down on me

Making my tears glisten in the grass beside my head,

At least he won’t know I'm hurt, he doesn’t need the guilt.

I lay there drained, saddened

My heart has no power left to pick me up

So I lay under the stars

And fall asleep to the universe whispering in my ear

I wake up dazed and confused wishing the hazel eyed boy

Was back at my house

Holding me

Making me feel secure

He does come back

But not in the way my heart longs for him to

His broad smile unravels the desire for a friendship

I can’t say no to his simple request

And numbly talk to him

Though it burns me so

We talk as good friends do

And he returns home

The numbness doesn’t pass

As I talk to a newly acquired “bud”

We discuss the wavy haired boy in great detail

My new friend tells me stories that make my head spin

I feel like I didn’t know the boy at all

Guess people change when you see them in the light

But my heartstrings tug at me once more

I remember his gentle side

And I find myself fighting against these stories

Trying to convince my mushroom friend that the other side

Of the boy exists

But the icy truth grips my emotions

As I realize I can never call him mine again.

My mind freezes up once again and I feel the numbness return.

I try to carry on talking to the smiling boy as if the stories I heard

Had changed nothing about him

But cannot

I look at him from this new point of view

But love him still

Because now I know he really is just human

Not perfect

But strong enough to live life with his imperfections

I am greatly comforted at knowing these things about him

But am continually attacked by the

Fact that I can’t call him mine ever again

Though I’ve told myself this repeatedly  

I blindly follow my heart,

Trying to win him over once more

The universe tells me I'm just going to end up getting hurt

Pursuing a lost cause

But I reply simply that getting hurt is part of the adventure

And the universe smiles

Allowing me to chase my desires

The sun peeks through my window to a new day

It’s not the end, it’s a new beginning

At first the light burns, from being held in the dark for so long

A voluntary imprisonment

Because that’s what I thought love was

The white light starts to warm up my soul

I smile upward knowing,

This moment was a sign of approval from the universe

I’m finally doing something right.

I go for a run and feel the country breeze run through my hair

I miss the ocean, the place I left to find myself

But now I have found myself

I can smile without the pain

Of missing the one I loved hiding behind my teeth

I confuse myself and continue on running

I don’t want to start over again

I don’t want to repeat the same pain I endured, only

A few short months ago

Why risk getting hurt?

I tell myself never return to the sanctuary again until I’m sure I'm ready

Little did I know the universe was listening to my thoughts,

And disagreeing with me

“Running away, making it to the beach, it was all an adventure

Where’s that sense of adventure that used to spark your heart?”

It died I told him, along with my heart itself

And the breeze brings in a storm as he laughs

“Part of the adventure is not being prepared.”

I return home again and once more sleep, safe and secure in the place I can call home

And the storm passes over

I won’t allow myself to return to the ocean

But a dip in the pool is close enough

All the friendly faces

This is my second home

With that thought I smile

A boy lets me go ahead of him

And lets me jump in the water on his word

Deep under the water I think back and let out too much air

Because I surprise myself,

I felt that tug of adventure seeping back into my heart

I get scared and sprint away from the feelings

Bury them on the surface, contemplate them in my mind

“No, no, NO!” I don’t want this happening again

But he’s so cute!

My mind plays tug-a-war with itself as I play it cool in front of my friends

Hiding my insecurity around him and get lost in a workout routine

The more I try to hide it the more I realize that I can’t lie to myself

So I try to see him

And the universe sends another storm

I was angry at first because I was trying again like he wanted me too

But then I realized I also had to wait

And so I did

Mulling over my thoughts I feel like an idiot as revelations occur in my mind

The sanctuary is not a place,

The sanctuary is not a boy

The sanctuary is my ability to create passion in another’s eye

It is part of me

This thought scares me and I'm glad the universe made me wait

I’m glad the universe made my heart break

All those endless nights I spent

Creating rivers with my eyes

I’m glad for the fear of starting over

And I'm glad he made me return home

Because without all this happening I would’ve never found myself

And I would’ve never returned to the sanctuary

Or found it in the first place

While bearing this in mind

I smile up at the white moon

Then get kissed by the boy who’s making me start over again.