And just as I had thought all my problems were solved

He dropped me

The smile fades from my face

And that glistening happiness leaves my eye

I was wrong

Laying there with my face in the sand I deal with the pain

What else is new?

Bitter thoughts returned, “I told you so” they sneered

I wipe the blood from my hands and the sand from my eyes

And re-organize my thoughts

How could I have been so careless?

He had a hungry heart but an empty mind

But all I saw was someone willing to hold me.

Guess this place really was just a fantasy told,

To those stupid enough to believe it

I walk alone along the water’s edge and throw stones

As tears start to burn my face and cloud my vision

Once again I find myself laying in the sand thinking, looking, wandering

A heavy sigh takes away the burden of my past love

As I tell my story to the ocean

It sways and crashes as usual

I laugh at myself for expecting a response

No one hears me anymore

So I try again this time talking to the moon

As I finish telling my tale

He hides his face away behind the clouds leaving me in the dark

Again I laugh

No one cares

But saying what has happened, hearing myself talk

Helps ease the pain

I hear the sound of quick feet behind me as yet another boy approaches me

In my unstable mood I tell him everything

Finally what I’ve been waiting for,

Pity, sorrow, someone else who can relate and give me security

As he goes to wipe the tears from my eyes I apologize

And start running

Leaving him in the same pain I'm feeling

I'm sorry but it’s too soon to start again

As I deal with the guilt of causing someone else pain

I start a journey

I realize I’m not ready to be on the beach

And I must **** up my pride and return

To the place I left, in my haste to get here

I was wrong

I was blind

I come through the front door expecting hatred and get hugged

I was loved

Why would I throw that away?

I cry at my lack of inexperience

And lock myself away in my ocean of a room

Return to the thoughts

Return to the memories I tried to run from

And embrace them

Look for the universal meaning for their occurrence

Then I sleep

The iridescent moonlight glistens on the wet sand of the shore

Cold, salty water licks at my toes as I walk

My legs resist moving as they cry out in pain from running

But I ignore the discomfort and continue on my way

My legs are used to running

I’ve had to run for as long as I can remember,

Away from all the pain and rejection in my life

Other times I’ve had to returned home

To the same hate and lack of understanding thrown in my face

I’ve always had to stay there because I had nowhere else to go

But this time it’s different

This time I’ve run farther than I ever imagined I would,

To a secret place only a lucky few will ever find

I was told about this sanctuary

But never truly believed it existed

Unrealistic, like a dream, I was certain I would never find it

Yet here I stand on miles of beautiful beach, far away from home, alone with my thoughts

So far away that no emotions can cause me pain here

A cool ocean breeze makes me shiver as I finally regain my breath

Waves crash only a few feet away from me

Salty air sprays in my face

I glance up at the moon and stare for a few moments before continuing on my way

A hand slips into mine and I whip around in shock

The moonlight shows me an angelic form

Soft brown locks blow in the wind as hazel eyes stare into my own

My heart starts beating faster and faster

I am dazed, confused, tripping over my own words

Love, but it can’t be

A mistake surely…

For no one has ever loved me

I try to speak but white crashing water takes away my words

And leaves me with my thoughts

I have been running all my life, and I have found the sanctuary,

But how is this boy leaving me feeling more complete

Than I ever was lost in my subconscious?

My thoughts are broken

His hand leads me by the water’s edge

A cloud of logic returns

“This can’t be real” “You don’t deserve him”

Words of reason begin racing through my mind

And he stops once more

His hand neatens a piece of my hair blown by the breeze

My heart beats again faster, faster, and faster yet

And before I realize it he has left me with a kiss

The words “catch me if you can” linger in the air

A smile creases my face, the first genuine smile I’ve had in a long time

I ignore my thoughts and listen to my heart,

As I chase down the handsome boy that has left me questioning everything

I slow down and loose his tracks as the beach ends

I am left alone with palm trees and sand dunes

My thoughts catch up with me and I panic

And just as I begin to believe this all was fabled up in my mind

An unseen force tackles me to the sand

On my cheek kiss after sweet kiss

Until I can bear it no longer and kiss him in return

I feel my life flash before my eyes

Every memory, every last painful memory is relived

And I bury myself in his arms to hide from the pain

I am left bewildered, wondering why I am so saddened

Then it cuts me like a knife

But pain runs deeper than cuts, pain is in the mind

I realize I have never felt such sincere compassion before

Not from friends, family,

As this new sensation runs through my veins

His strong arms carry me away from the shore

Another revelation occurs inside my racing mind

The sanctuary isn't my beloved shore

It is found within him.