no retreat
no advance
merely
standing my ground.

tell me what it is there is to say
and with my sense I shall
find the truth to your love.

do you forget me with difficulty?
a room full of people
with the feeling
of one christmas light missing
amongst other starry hearts?
embrace that darkened part
and that light might still
go unshined,
a risk unmeasured.

i am tired of the shenanigans
i don't like any of you,
but my love can be
so easily abused
from the part of my heart
i left to you.

you'd rather hate me than miss me
banging large percussive drums
enraged; so passionate.
I'd only listen in on its fruitful
blasts of flame invigorating your soul
nodding a head alongside.

let the anger out
and by god it might
be productive.
i will persistantly
attempt to advocate, to
evoke the life inside you.
the true living.
advocating for openness
until the clawing hands
of nature, in time,
drag us all down to be but
a garden of daisies.

aspire good;
and affective
immedietly,
your power
gifts happiness.
aspire good;
even if this is untrue.
aspire good;
for we will always triumph.

i dug under the scars;
too hard, too reckless, i reclused.
i tried to find what was tearing your- heart;
from the past you probably wished-you
could forget.
because what I ripped through,
i was trying to kiss too,
to make you-
remember so you'll never
regret.

I truely believe I make mom proud
that's what I hold on to,
that's what I hold on to.

you hate me so dearly.
anger from something so cherished.
its cheery smile would enrage your flame.
its darker soul is not to blame
and pity speaks volumes of one's own shame.

i don't recall the past dark parts of memory
i just know they build me. i capture them in the moment
to ensure no future rue.
here future has presented me a smile
anew.

I appreciate everyone that sees my submissions. I am rather free form on these, and that can lead to weird tangential things that possibly could only speak to me, so I greatly love the community to even spend a second to look at something I write. To have a space in order to write what I want to for myself feels truely emansipating and liberating. I hope if any of the poetic part of my mind affects you here it is in a positive light even if written in darkest shade.
Love is truely the ultimate answer !

NO ROOM FOR FIGURING HARD FEELINGS IN YOUR HEAVEN

I'VE FOUND THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE IS A ***** DOWNWARD.
A SLIDE; A JOYRIDE.

who affected this effect
what was the larger cause
that killed our bond

hearing your names
feels like a burning lighter
on a gooey sore

thinking your face
yields me the same
indifferential
thought of you

but the burning skin,
you'd seem never smell,
left me quivering for years.
i trusted you
to always
try to understand.

im the ***** laundry
of such
a clean closet
where you
hang your skeletons.

when he had no one to cut his hair
samson could have carried mountains
upon his back

time heals all wound

and when the scars settle,

the imperfections

make beauty

if you are unsure about your identity,
seek it.
in every gracious way.
your story
relies on your
intuition;
of starry nights,
of love everlasting
securely protected
by the will of some
higher shimmer.
pray that the ocean reflect that
nightly heart you call yours,
sailing into the undying determination
of both the oceans and sky's
vast ubiquitous nature as they
only seek to boast your journey.
for when the storms may come,
that you
only add to the sea
with your tears.
therefore to the still
nothingness that permeates
a dark sky.
so that each drop will
constellate piercing light
in the veil of space.
and there to,
will be
your memory of conquering
a nightmare to a dream.

the fight ended
with my blood pumping
under the skin
coloring me
the color
of my heart

to whomever this may concern-
I love you.

all the concious good
limited, entirely,
by subconcious bad.
/                                     /
all the concious bad
enlightens, with a good heart,
one's subconcious good.
/                                     /
holding burning leaf
in horrowful vast stillness
minding peaceful breeze

In night near dark trees,
anxious traveler peers viscious eyes.
Growling of tiger;
a death prowl.
Closing edge:
The fearing relentless.
Hoping through sleepless endurance.

it feels like hate
when i view myself
through your eyes.

sometimes, i'll dream
what can be.
like when i was young
picking flower pedals,
she will;
she won't;
she will;
she won't..
it was easy letting the flower fall with the last petal.

even easier to try again.
she loves me;
she loves me not;...

nice days will
remind me
of the ones
past.

in a way,
a nice day
is but a growth
from
your first!

for some odd reason,
we are all blessed
if we believe
we are chanced
to be.

i would awaken next to you.
looking upon you
would sustain my dream to the day.


the touch of you those days,
would light me inside
my skin fit to fill with
the essense of shiver.
that same touch now
could leave me
crying,
broken and enraged;
like an abandoned puppy.

a knowledge to one's shadow
does not strip them of light.
the wicked rights
one could deem
for the wicked wrongs
happened to have
threatened me to
a submission
of power's abuse.
a prison was never my
purpose,
but maybe my solitude.
hell was never my home,
but the enemy I had to respect.
hard to stomach
our own consequence;
with only bile
to tinge the heart,
and that god seems to serve
only justly.

ive never heard a more scary statement,
"i'll be there after they're gone.".
its the threat of death in when one gets detrimentally complacent.
but sometimes
it could be sunshine past a dreary tragedy,
like i have found it always to have been.

you opened my heart,
you held the key.

if you strive in some way to fight
for what's right,
then in some odd way,
you are.
some things are done in ignorance,
not malice.
love is understanding in its own plight for good, knowing everyone's pure heart will shine through in time and in time of grace.

there is no us.
it is me to you-
and vice virsa.
more of a gift
ive given
when it not for i too;
yet scorn
met me at
the door,
and then i realized
what you're buying into.

If my mind is cursed,
tell me why I still feel blessed by your precenses'.
Voices unheard but still there all the same - phantoms of feeling that leave my intuition partitioned.
I am not I, I am the culmination of bodies and minds guiding me through wastelands of unknown; yet still marching with the hat of a leader.

some days i awaken from
past memories'
embrace.
hating today but
longing to love tomorrow.

in a break alone
we will be sold
our own fantasys
by some deceptive brackish brokers
done with the world.

slowly the clock strikes
slooowllllly
time a meer mirage-
an illusion that imprisons
us to what one is told to do.
slooowlllly
night becomes day.
foreseen infinite concieves me, as I concieve it.
prayers of eons in but hours.
the love of relation: you being there to become with me, as I, you.
all while in a timeless space.
sanctuary, in any darker room
slooowlllly.☆

you're a bid for control
behind a bluff that you hide
that ill no longer buy-in to.

touch my finger to the poetry of your dance enriched
in my flowery sentence of hips.
in motion with the sound we can both sing;
slowly, a dancer is loved- and a dancer I'd hope we all will be.

a cloud of an unspoken lie
shrouds and hides
the tether of my soul

what is so wrong with the name ana?
I dont understand it all
and I can get quite emotional;
but,
Ana.

Sometimes your wisdom supercedes me.
It's hard understanding you to my wilds, but there are truthes that
glimmer gold flecks as much as your.
I'm up in debate nowaday whether it even be good or right to ever stake you a piece my mind; only if you've the same I suppose. I just wish someone came along to save me for once- to invade my sense and lay me home. I hope my worth would speak through myself; that my very nature be loved and nurtured by a warm touch.

some building of something new
was still of me and you.

i will have moments in time
i'll recall being in a place of one of some
pre cognitive dream.
wondering, why and how i have been here before.
and for where and when i'll see another of that type flag in my journey

the fire of the fighter.
the paintbrush of his strikes will prove what
his words could not.
only in honor.
his eyes dead,
ready for pain,
all out
'til down
to get back up.
triumph the loss,
triumph in victory.

my soul is steady
my mind is racing
as my heart rages for you.

disgusted of defamators.
their word's: misinformation-
a disgusting wax to the ears.

I didn't know how to do right by you.
As you dug the answer beneath every one of my sins, virtues, and charms.

I am now standing amidst dusty dirt,
at this quarry of knowledge, as the vessel I had been made that which had then been unmade to self-standing me.

Unlike any other so close, even after a massacre of my being, I will teach you there's love in everything you know to hate,
and to forgive all you've learned to regret.
Slowly building testiment of integrity
in deadlands that could have once housed a castle.

welcome to your parody!
people-pleasing in fakeness,
forced laugh track atmosphere,
a projection party of bodys and minds,
some ingenuine fellowship against
false villians.

fly higher and soar deeper and love in a collective nest.
hopefully you'll figure out the rest.

a vocaloid heart
echoing at me
reflection of your trouble.

scratchy CDs
s-s-stammering and repeating
selective sounds
that only kisses their own itch.