Random but I love life
I don't ever wanna die
But i didn't always feel this way
I never saw the shine
It was mostly rainy days
and dark thoughts that drowned my mind
A pain sublimely painful, although it didn't seem so at the time
A pain sublimely painful because I learned and grew so much
And if I had the chance to repeat it all I think Id say I might
I'd go through it chopped and *******, pay my dues
*** every minute, every hour made me strong and true
and even though I'm not the "Standard girl"
I accept the tainted one I am today
So don't even bother judging me Ive done it 1,000 times a day

Here I am missing you, you have a new name every other season
but you are the same person every single time
You see a guarded soul but you don't care
so I believe you are here on a mission to break down these walls and that you won't give up
But you never even start. False hopes.
you are suddenly aloof and now i miss and thirst for you even more
You were here only for one night

You are not for me and I am not for you
It's not suppose to be this complicated
Time and space have held us apart
Like an unknown force that holds you down in your sleep when you know you're awake

I want your warm naked body on mine
And I want you to look into my eyes
And for both of us to know, that in another life we were lovers
Possibly forbidden or Pharaohs not arranged in marriage
And when we look into each other's eyes we know,
God aligned you and I

But that is not the case with you, although I swear it was for a split second
You are not for me and I am not for you

I've been here before
So much so that all I can do is grin
Grin at the fact that I've yet to learn my lesson
Or maybe I just have bad luck
After repeated offenses I can't be upset
Nor can I cry or **** God
All I can do is grin, sigh and think
Think about what I attract and how I've come to this
Emotionally unavailable yet willing to risk it all for the one?
Are these men a mirror image of me and I of them?

I want you
The one that has no time
The one that is selfish
The one that acts like he doesn't care or doesn't act just really doesn't
The one that just got out of a situation therefore "needs" time

To be bitter and naive? I don't have the energy
These mirrors don't lie
And until I learn my lesson will these mirrors then die