The rain is gone
And I really can see clearly!
Please never stop being yourself
We hold each other up so dearly.
It’s quick, but fast paced is my calm.
I could talk to you from dusk till dawn.
Listening to yourself opens many doors.
Every one is open to me,
Forever more.

The words that filled this diary
One
Two
Maybe three years of
Not you
Cannot be you
Has to be the battle of
Those wolves you always heard about.
Only
Ten days shy
Of one month
That I realized,
Every pack has a leader.
I never wanted to
Be lead,
Yet there I was
Completely unaware of the leash.
“You’re doing so well”,
They say
Without knowing
I am dealing with
Heartbreaking
Clarity.

how do you leave someone who loves you?
how do you leave someone who won’t understand the cause of your leaving was
due to the fact they need to be alone to work on themselves?
good energy was put in, but I am fading in my own life.
requests I cannot fulfill, ones he refuses to try. How do you tell someone you want to stop trying.

tequila strikes like
the thought of leaving
while the lime wraps
the burn
like you wrapping
your way back
around
salt stabilizes
familiar and safe
until I am ready
to walk alone
and take the strikes
of leaving
and not needing a chaser

five years later
repeated requests
same old fights.  
when we were apart
I wanted to swim,
but didn’t feel you under
me.
felt like I was drowning.
you on top, i
feel like I am drowning.
ironically irritating,
how time trickles in.
do I end this relationship
to potentially hurt someone
who loves me more
then I him?
ironic how I have no regrets
and act spontaneously
on the spot,
yet I fake it thru so no
time goes
wasted.
I am living a lie
I’m too afraid to bloom out of.
I am wilting
yet I stay due to the fact
he has something to wilt.