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Murphy Oct 2018
We gather today to mourn a deatrh.
And after we pray we're sadder at best.
In pastures we lay, no laughter is left.
No masters of fate, so faster to stress.


The group of my people that I keep at bay........
All choose to use needles and likely cant change.
The truth sounds so evil with feasible rage.
I see them as equals but leave open space.


~I find myself angry when my help isn't saving.
Im too self indulgent and noticed I'm crazy.
I hold them in closeness but no sense is saving.
I wrote this promote fits of coldness and craving.
Murphy Oct 2018
Dangerous your face is replacin my hate with patients like a facelift can't stop smilin on days when it's cold and rainin.
  Havoc was my habit  it's useful but leads to sadness, and it's bad it's all I had like a badge to declare my madness.
Then you up and left the state, ran away to clean your plate, then it hit me somethings missing something I could not replace. It's your laugh and it's your taste, it's that you don't know your great.please don't leave before I get to kiss your lips and hold your face.
Murphy Oct 2018
Before you trust the Lore and lust  ask more than what ask what the ****.   In public they are polished on paper accomplished till later comes knowledge of all they demolished. Where **** is not legal and smoking is evil I feel and upheavals the only good deal. Where middle  Americans Perantin's wearing thin it's not the heroine let's keep it real.    Was really alarmin  they're fix is at pharmacies what's really harming teens is all the pills. An  occupation will rock this nation from cops to statesman so stop debatin.   I wait for the day when the paper is not payment and kindness is laid with our patience like pavement ..
Murphy Sep 2018
I beat my fate and cheat my grave, at least to have even reached my age.
The beast  i've made I keep, I cage. Has ceased to even speak my name.
I'd seek to claim complete domain of me and all  beneath my brain.

But seasons can change and I'll need him one day to release him when demons are eating my  Faith.
When the weak and the brave have been beat they're the same, there's a reason for it even my evil to stay
I never actually got rid of my bad side..... I just trapped him in there.  Because in the past he has proved too useful in certain ways.  So I don't want to not have him at a time where **** gets so bad I run out of other options
Murphy Sep 2018
Let it be known. That this calm is my own. Though I don't yet know home. As my grace takes the thrown. In my caves pace and moan. Like a grave placed my stone.
I will wait for the scent of some pharamones. To wake me a bit and change where I roam. To get out and stay active and gain new distractions remaining adaptive and scrape my bones. I'll go hunting not hurtin, not *** but some flirtin, *** I am still certain I'm safe alone.
this past week is the saddest I have ever been.  as an empath(if u believe in such a thing)  I create, magnify and spread joy like its my job because it is.  But being sad like this is debilitating and self renewing......So to not share it with those around me I gota stay away from people because I cant fake it and even if I could fake joy I never would....But solitude only makes it worse...……….I hope that these words can make any others out there who don't wana be dead but would like to die stay put mentally... u cant make it better quick but any of us has the power to keep it from getting worse in our hearts and just wait it out....U are alone out there.   But I am with u in tear.
Murphy Sep 2018
She's content, with the little bit.
Of me that I have to give. Although I remind her she should find herself a better fit.
Just *** I don't lie, and I am kind they think I'm worth a ****.  But if they don't mind to waist their time then I will bite my lip.
While I realize that I'd be fine without a face to kiss.  Selfish knowing time will make them mine but only as a wish.
Recently I've seen a few of these had all stayed sweet and true.
Only to achieve a trust that's weak protecting me from you.
I'm convinced that SHE would suffer grief and never free the shrew.
All attempts to breach the armor leaves it harder we have proved.
           Five years down the road start feeling old then start to drop the shield.  Reaping what I sew long left alone, their  waiting lost appeal.  Or maybe I'll have stopped allowing lots to pay the cost to steal.  Only tender thoughts and that is NOT enough to make it real.
      Plus all that depending on if I'm living or if I've lost the will.  I don't mind it ending while I'm winning at least I topped the hill.
This piece is more than the truth simply put into words that rhyme......I fear quite often that the girls that I pushed away or let get away were the few that would have been actually good to me.  And the ones I settled for have always left me scarred and cynical.  I have proof that this is true and I am regretful to have a broken "Picker".
Murphy Sep 2018
If you and I have such disdain. Then why the **** do you remain? While ties are cut, and I'm in pain. While lies erupt and lives are changed. Intwined with trust, you hide whats plain. Whats dried to dust, whats died in vain. Once shined now rusts once kind now rage. I find your lust, in time has drained. You fight you cuss, I cry I pray. My eyes seemed shut, while wide awake. Your mind corrupt despite your age. Our time is up, our lines have strayed. Once fine now ******, our shrine in flames. Once thrived now stuck, once pride now shame.
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