Escapism is gracing me with a tasteless type of patience.  Explains to me that faith is weak and fake when its complacent.  Its plain in ink when faceless peeps would state that he is flagrant.  Then they believe when blatantly I play to beat frustration.  No name I need I came to see whos face will meet the pavement.  It drains my peace and trains my beast in waves til he is jaded.  To aim my grief is lame I seek to shame the sheep's false statement.  In vain I weep in blame I sleep the stage I've reached is hatred.

When I like what I see, it is stored instantly.  And I save and replay it whenever I please.  Pictograph memory, when I lack little things, its *** that was way back or in fact wasn't me.
         The drawback of all that is problems all fall back to anger and all wrath until I am mean.  I recall fast and walls crash unable to walk past I'm lead down the wrong path and haulting my dreams.

Let it be known. That this calm is my own. Though I don't yet know home. As my grace takes the thrown. In my caves pace and moan. Like a grave placed my stone.
I will wait for the scent of some pharamones. To wake me a bit and change where I roam. To get out and stay active and gain new distractions remaining adaptive and scrape my bones. I'll go hunting not hurtin, not *** but some flirtin, *** I am still certain I'm safe alone.

In him a demon that’s keepin him hostage. Even when sleepin he’s dreamin of promise. Seein no reason he’s needin a conscience. Screamin and swingin like he was a mash pit.
Season to season its re-runs of lost wits. Strings of his peace must have begun to drop quick. He must have enough of these drugs to stop it. Because the legion has reaped up his profit.
And sobs heard were proverbs but not learned in classes. The bought curse will cost earth as crops burn to ashes. With all sin the fallen will call in the masses. And strong men will stall them til all ends and passes.

With your disappointment a fact.  Your anointed react.  And with habits WE have we just had to attack.  So we claw and we scratch wearing calm as a mask, making laws to belong to a cause that we lack.  It involves all those wrong to be gone; don't come back.  Please absolve all us flawed and then draw us a map.  Making strong all the bonds that we lost on our path.  That's my plea, that's my call, that is all, that is that.

Tension in the prison that I sit in when Im livid.   Its a sentence or some pennance for a sin that I've commited.  When our mission turns to vengance earned forgiveness isant given. Within minutes no ones finished sayin **** they wanted written.  In an instant your indifference makes us cinics faith deminished.  With no witness poor decisions have of course now forced opinions. At my limits I've convinced them to enlist the quickest minions.  I envision life as gifted why give in to mindless business.

Livid seems to limit peace and rigid dreams all bend and crease. But when it reads that sin is glee an instant leaks to minutes brief. but in a week the fridged freeze and irish creeps all tend to scream. Then a truthful lass can speak through glass and Scottish tact is felt at last. and on my lap a window gaps the distance that is on the map. While I am trapped I tear and scratch at all these straps that hold me back Id like to crash just where your at but care was never spared for that.

I give in willingly spilling these feelings free. Millions of drilling teeth pealing my brilliant peace. She can appeal to me, leaving my will too weak. Killing me still I speak, tilling my field of grief. Frilling these shields I keep. Filling me til I leak.
As my concealing ceased. Glad eyes revealing he, Chastise the last lies and baptize the stealing thief.
Sighing his sides sting and lighting his pipe dreams. Crying when finaly devising what life means...

If you were dead when you were born. Could you have said that you were warned? But you instead, decide to stay, and soon your led through a life of pain. If I was shown the skin I claimed, is the kind thats prone to sin unaimed. I still would deem, that shell at home. The thrills, the dreams, the trails I've roamed. The ***** I thought could change her views, the more I fought, the more she *******. And with the seed, we birthed to earth, has made me see, its worth the hurt.

Happy birthday to me.
Though I'm worthless and weak.
With no purpose I deserve this as I wordlessly scream.
Draw the curtains and weep.
While I purge all my peace.
Making certain I don't hurt friends with the burdens I keep.
Though my surface is plain.
Like I'm perfect and sane.
I am learnin its a version of a person not in pain.

We gather today to mourn a deatrh.
And after we pray we're sadder at best.
In pastures we lay, no laughter is left.
No masters of fate, so faster to stress.


The group of my people that I keep at bay........
All choose to use needles and likely cant change.
The truth sounds so evil with feasible rage.
I see them as equals but leave open space.


~I find myself angry when my help isn't saving.
Im too self indulgent and noticed I'm crazy.
I hold them in closeness but no sense is saving.
I wrote this promote fits of coldness and craving.

Dangerous your face is replacin my hate with patients like a facelift can't stop smilin on days when it's cold and rainin.
  Havoc was my habit  it's useful but leads to sadness, and it's bad it's all I had like a badge to declare my madness.
Then you up and left the state, ran away to clean your plate, then it hit me somethings missing something I could not replace. It's your laugh and it's your taste, it's that you don't know your great.please don't leave before I get to kiss your lips and hold your face.

I beat my fate and cheat my grave, at least to have even reached my age.
The beast  i've made I keep, I cage. Has ceased to even speak my name.
I'd seek to claim complete domain of me and all  beneath my brain.

But seasons can change and I'll need him one day to release him when demons are eating my  Faith.
When the weak and the brave have been beat they're the same, there's a reason for it even my evil to stay

Suddenly caves aren't a place he is safe. Placement that's changed him in ways he cant shake. Chained then to Megan its drainin his faith. Save him I pray lend him patience and grace. Days spent he pays rent on cages he hates. Strainin his brain bent its blatant its rage.  Sway him from fake friends and raise him from graves. Staying his saneness with ancient embrace.

god ****** I keep throwing in previous lines of mine into poems....I have been writing since 16 and I guess a lot of these lines stand out and I didn't notice.....****!!!!! that is some weak ***, disappointing crap.......!   If anyone out there ever reads my stuff enough to see it please let me know I am so upset about this right now.  I doubt anyone does read enough of my work to see it but if ANYONE does please scream it at me...I wanted to be better than that but I guess if u cry about the same type of bs then its bound to happen to a weak wordsmith.  Sorry folks.

I take in my last breath,
hoping that you catch it.
I just hope you hold me before lonelyness is past death.
I used to be the one to please, i used to be the man u need. I used to be beholden now just broken down on folded knees

There's a mom I cant coach and cant bandage.  Who's been wronged by emotional damage.   All alone in the cold on a farm.  I'd console since I know of this harm.  
              Its my own that has shown her this hurt.  Seeds ones sewn cant be grown in sad dirt.  If I'd known one was prone to desert, I'd expose you and told truths at first.
             Fifteen years doesn't buy you some grace?  Skipping tears you just try to escape.  Though its clear there's no side I can take.  Now I fear somethings died in my faith.

My D.O.C.'s seem so weak P.O.V.'s blurry.  This D.O.G. needs no leash we don't need worry.  Breath so deep, bring slow peace, he broke free in a fury.
          P.D.A.'s now D.O.A. so we don't make mention.   T.M.I. to see him cry, so none then pay attention.
         The I.R.S. invites our stress and bites our checks monthly.  And the E.P.A.'s too weak to sway as greed lays waist to the country.  G.D.   F.C.C. arrests my speech, its best to be quiet.  F-ing N.S.A. are friends for pay to the men who stay silent.
              So my S.O.P. is to let foes leave and protect those beat and frightened.  And the W.M.D.'s we inspect but don't see, would let death flow free if we're fightin..

If you and I have such disdain. Then why the **** do you remain? While ties are cut, and I'm in pain. While lies erupt and lives are changed. Intwined with trust, you hide whats plain. Whats dried to dust, whats died in vain. Once shined now rusts once kind now rage. I find your lust, in time has drained. You fight you cuss, I cry I pray. My eyes seemed shut, while wide awake. Your mind corrupt despite your age. Our time is up, our lines have strayed. Once fine now ******, our shrine in flames. Once thrived now stuck, once pride now shame.

She's content, with the little bit.
Of me that I have to give. Although I remind her she should find herself a better fit.
Just *** I don't lie, and I am kind they think I'm worth a ****.  But if they don't mind to waist their time then I will bite my lip.
While I realize that I'd be fine without a face to kiss.  Selfish knowing time will make them mine but only as a wish.
Recently I've seen a few of these had all stayed sweet and true.
Only to achieve a trust that's weak protecting me from you.
I'm convinced that SHE would suffer grief and never free the shrew.
All attempts to breach the armor leaves it harder we have proved.
           Five years down the road start feeling old then start to drop the shield.  Reaping what I sew long left alone, their  waiting lost appeal.  Or maybe I'll have stopped allowing lots to pay the cost to steal.  Only tender thoughts and that is NOT enough to make it real.
      Plus all that depending on if I'm living or if I've lost the will.  I don't mind it ending while I'm winning at least I topped the hill.

Before you trust the Lore and lust  ask more than what ask what the ****.   In public they are polished on paper accomplished till later comes knowledge of all they demolished. Where **** is not legal and smoking is evil I feel and upheavals the only good deal. Where middle  Americans Perantin's wearing thin it's not the heroine let's keep it real.    Was really alarmin  they're fix is at pharmacies what's really harming teens is all the pills. An  occupation will rock this nation from cops to statesman so stop debatin.   I wait for the day when the paper is not payment and kindness is laid with our patience like pavement ..

Livid seems to limit peace and rigid dreams begin to crease and when it leads to instant grief I dig in deep my skin it leaks. Avenge the piece of him deceased, the him that’s weak the **** the freak. The friend to lead to sin and leave. I bend and breach the fence and leash. The pen they grow us in to keep. To end and cease. To win and seek. To send relief , to my kin and peeps

This is a poem about writing poems, when lonely and broken these notes seem to hold him. When happy and open he’s lacking the notion. When laughing when hope comes, when past deeds don’t show up, his craft leaves its so dumb like lapsing devotion.
Without any anger without any grudge. He puts pen to paper but the pen just wont budge.
But instantly pens will leap stricken with rage. It sickens me how quick he’s writin a page.
As a student of light and a master of dark. Its prudent to write from both poles of the heart. Til his brain has a talent for more than just grief, he will train for a balance endorcing his peace.

All these scenes so extreme with no peace in between will soon bring me to means of escape. Like me sleeping for weeks or just leaving completely believe me its things I would hate......
And still recently reaching for dreams that are shrinking so easily seems like a waste. So increasingly pieces bleed feeding indecency keeping me thinking its fate. Til whats weak in me leaking free streaks down my cheeks in streams screaming I plead to be saved......
Then appeasing my demons with deep cuts and lesions I'm seeing no reasons to stay....

How did you begin to drift and distance all your friends you miss?  While once again you ball your fists.  To punch a wall or saw your wrists.  In darkness when you part your skin regardless of it harming kin.  Or harness all your hearts contempt your scarred skin isn’t art its sick.
I get a buzz from a lesion or blood and achieve more than peace when I see what I’ve done.  As the gaze of the average name it rage from a savage I’m labeled insane with no way to get past it.

I’m coffin in a yard of graves. Like often but now dark and strange. The cost of when I start to change, is lost wits and a heart of rage.
With practice came a new routine. A habit made for you to leave. In fact it saved the few you need, from havin to stray and loosin me.
So every night I rose to dred. And wake alive in rows of dead. Then weak and weathered I’d find my way home. To piece together the night now unknown.

She’d be blunt and be sharp, and can see in the dark.  She’d be strong on the surface but soft in her heart.  Its a shame that a dame with a face made for fame, should remain in this state of disgrace and of blame.
But you wont see her cry.  All her scars she will hide.  Like the type from a knife at the top of her thighs.  They’ll most likely be right behind both of her eyes. And despite wrong or right shes polite all the time.  Many might see just slightly and lightly pay mind.
Shes probably bothered by thoughts of no father and constantly ****** herself like a martyr.  Shes me only smarter and needs me like water and keeps me at peace a relief when my heart hurts.

Theres a rarity in the fairer breed.  I sometimes barely read if they care for me.  I would tear through things just to wear you like jeans.  If you share my needs we're a pair of fiends.  I don't dare proceed unprepared for stings.  But I scare from strings and wont bear a ring.  So I'll stare and dream just to spare true queens.

The peace I want is sleep for months. When leaves wont come from trees now numb. When the giver of life is a sliver of light. When the rivers are ice as grows dimmer the sky. When the rays of our star start to fade and get far. Now a scrape leaves a scar. And long days freeze to shards. I would stay in a cave where I'd lay in the dark. Never wake, never stray, never ache, better heart. In the weeks of the snow when things green fail to grow. I would cease to be known, never leave, never show. Til my head truly mends, and wont spread to my friends. Til I shed abused skin, still as lead through my limbs.

Blatantly raking leaves without waiting til they leave trees.  And ice skating in crazy creeks with no way we can make them freeze.  I spend days that give way to weeks bringing rage when I pray for peace.

Instantly sentencing me to a fence and leash. Did he proceed to beast or scream offensive things? Send me some quick relief, give me a minutes peace. Fist swings to hit my cheek. Missed me by an inch I think. Simply slide then I leap, grit teeth my limb flies free. Spinning I extend my reach. Please tempt me leave limping dreams and belief empty.

The cave I sit in weak and livid staying timid locked and chained.
In ways a prison shaded hidden days and minutes shocked and shamed.
Today has given way to visions safe and risen from the grave.
The face of tension changed to grinnin made my livin somethin great.
The strain of penance gained and lifted phased and shifted into grace.
I prayed forgiveness came and witnessed pain that ended up as faith

Im among an elite.  We dont run or retreat.   If my lungs hold enough wont give up while I breathe.  All the blood I cao pump til it clumps at their feet. Til Im done or Im hung til we've won or defeat.

Villain am I not I am killin all my stocks of the spillin of the millions into villages and crops.  Just to pillage and to plot then just buildin parkin lots. While our children *** up ill with hallow feelins empty thoughts...its appealin its been taught its been sealed in its been bought  hope the drillin through your realness soon reveals it simply not ....

Labled then enabled sin.  When faithful friends claim blame for him.  
     It hurts even worse when those permenant perch and observe the obsurdness and encure what he's earned.    
             I have burned them since birth and i have turned them or worse.  I then burden or i curse them so i purge them to be sure.

Does this ******* site not make people at least VIEW if not review a piece of our minds before posting one of theirs?

I died twice this year..... Literally. Not from bad decisions either.  I have been rendered to the woods. And havent lied to a soul, not even the cops and HERE that saying alot.  I have made two "elite as they can be"  women fall in love with me this year.

*******

I miss u.  All of u.  Fawn. Noni. Jawar Gupta!! (Yes even ur peaceful budist but!) i cant seem to write without turmoil. But i def cant write and care if it means anything without u guys.  This i swear.

Someone write me not blindly walk by me.  Someone strike me not swipe weak then fly free.  Someones dieing his cries sit traped in my cheeks. Someones shining through blind lids while my eyes leak.  Someones screaming his pleas keep no meaning.  Someones seeing that his decence is leaving.

My inbox bare.   I know your there. Just barely glance me you don't have to stare.  I'm all but broken.  Armored but still open. I am filled but hopeless.  In a field still closed up.   All my shields I hold up show my will I'm so tuff. But the real is no such, I miss people so much.

If any of you feather thin, used to be my brethren, step onto my ledge again,
One of us WILL fall......
Severed from what's left of kin, tethered chords have left my skin, better sore then septic limbs,
I just never saw..........
You clever sorts you veterans, you leather ****** your treaturous.  Who don't endorse and don't condemn, were never friends at all.

Demonstrating is endearing making statements stated clearly but when waiting makes us leery and some changes ain't appearing, then a protest will take place now we throw it in your face then we're rolling up your road and all we're holding is our rage.... And if Justice is just and no one is corrupt then why the **** it's only us that's ending up in cuffs?... And I understand the riots I even incited violence then I see what we become cannot be reasoned with for kindness ..... In the middle of the madness if I catch my people looting any business that is local it's those fools that I'll be shooting all I'm saying is that patients is the way we started out now the hatred it became has made its way into your house

FEMA's going to need a sneaky reason for these caskets. Freedom isn't leaving even seeming like it's havoc. Rewinds of these demons public preaching turns to habit.  Recently it's treason disagreeing held as captives. We must see deceit when what they feed us they've established. Please believe that we should fight not Flee or die a Savage. Life invited me to Bear my teeth and cry in madness. I would die at peace provided we could guide some past it.

Placing your people and training a stand-in. Not through the door but you've just got your hand in. Changing the rules for your own expansion, and walking around like you live in a mansion. I taste the stress of the rest of these people. I'm doing my best in a test made of evil. The masses in classes change slow as molasses, and the poor sweeping floors when they should kick some *****.

I am getting hacked or GOT hacked and my fb page and email address are in accessable to me.   I am running from the law and haven't sewed the hospital for my last death yet..  i am all alone and outnumbered right now. I live in my car and i am expecting no one to come help me.  But if u ever were a friend on here just know i miss u and love ur work