twice
on repeat

and it's at times like that, i'd rather just walk
into unknown spaces
but at least i'm moving

as if i could

be gentle
i said
be gentle
as i'm fumbling small gestures of love
in my hands
i'm holding
tiny strands of wanting
fall between my fingers
i want nothing
i want it all
i want to be gentle to myself
when it comes to this

when really all i want
is to lay in your lap
and recite my love for you silently
in my head
while reading my favorite excerpts
of Kerouac
"The Subterraneans"
out loud

"and i go home, having lost her love and write this book"

long after you are gone
you are still here

i could sink in this daydream
for
ever
but i don't believe in forever much