Funny how love and your name both have four,  
I don’t like love, but with you, I want more.  
Hearing your name makes it feel real,  
Makes me crave something I don’t want to feel.  

I long to feel you, your warmth, your skin,  
The way you pull me in, where do I begin?  
I don’t want just texts, I want you whole,  
But I know you don’t care, you don’t feel my soul.  

Maybe if I was thinner, prettier, a little more bright,  
Would you see me then? Would you see me right?  
What’s wrong with me? What do they have that I lack?  
I give and give, but I’m always turning back.  

I love you, but you don’t even see,  
How can you be blind when it’s so clear to me?  
Am I a fool for loving you, for wanting this touch?  
Or are you playing games, knowing I care too much?  

I love you, I hate you, all at once in my chest,  
I hate myself more for putting this to the test.  
I try so hard, but you don’t even try,  
And I’m left here waiting, asking myself why.

Your eyes sparkle when you’re happy  
I hadn’t noticed before.  
I usually catch those little details,  
but with you, it’s different.  
Those eyes, so intense,  
so full of emotion,  
tell a story I’m desperate to read.  

Yet, you remain a mystery.  
I remember that look you gave me
innocent,  
but laced with something deeper.  
It felt like you wanted us closer,  
to breathe the same air,  
to let the silence speak.  

But I hesitated.  
Fear kept me rooted,  
and I left you there,  
wondering what could have been.  

Then, I saw you again,  
in that same place,  
the one where we first met.  
Your eyes found mine once more,  
and I felt it, the pull,  
undeniable, magnetic.  

I watched you from afar,  
but I couldn’t stay away.  
When I approached,  
your lips began to move,  
and every word you spoke  
made me want to close the gap,  
to be so near  
that we’d share the same breath.  

I long to taste your words,  
to let my lips speak instead.  
Just say the words,  
tell me you feel it too.  

And when our lips meet,  
time will halt,  
the world will fade,  
and in that moment,  
you’ll know the depths of my desire.

He used to look at me,  
eyes meeting mine like secret words,  
quietly folding over our small world.  
A laugh, a smile,  
a glance that lingered just a little longer,  
like we were caught in a whispered story.

But now there’s nothing.  
Days pass like a dimming pulse.  
No messages, no mentions,  
just the cold echo of everything left unsaid.  
The warmth once here has slipped away,  
like it never even happened,  
a memory erased before it had the chance to stay.

I wonder if I imagined it,  
if the closeness was just a flicker in the dark.  
He’s here and gone, like a fading spark.  
And though I wish it would light again,  
I wait in silence, shadows,  
just the ache of where he’d been.

Life is ******, it’s truly a mess,  
I mean you’d have to be twisted to love right?
You’re caught in a game that never ends.  
its a cycle almost clinical

Love is a gamble, its either you win or you lose,  
There’s no in-between, just choices to choose.  
And if there were, you weren’t really playing,  
Just drifting along, while the real hearts are swaying.  

As a teen, you’re vulnerable, naive,  
Chasing a dream that’s hard to believe.  
Love can be beautiful, yet it cuts like a knife,  
It’s a dangerous dance, full of chaos

Dive in too deep, and you’ll feel the sting,  
Love is nothing but lies, wrapped in a ring.  
It pulls you in close, then pushes away,  
A truth in the games that we play.

Love is a gamble, you win or you lose,
No in-between, just painful choices to choose.
And if there were, she wasn’t really playing,
Just drifting along, while his heart kept swaying.

She thinks love’s beautiful, yet it cuts like a knife,
She’s sick of never being loved, or not loving enough,
Of feeling like she’s broken, too hard, too tough.

She wonders if it’s worth staying another day.
She’s tired of hurting, tired of the fight,
Her mind is a war that rages at night.

She dreams of letting it go, of silence,
Of peace, from the chaos she knows.
She’s sick of the ache that swallows her whole,
Of feeling like love is something she’ll never control.

If you asked me what I like about you,  
I’d say something simple, like, “your humor.“

Because saying,  
“I love how deep and emotional your eyes are,  
how they pull me in,  
make me want to uncover the depths of your thoughts,  
the words you’re too afraid to speak,”  
would be too much, wouldn’t it?  

Or admitting,  
“I love your lips,  
how every word they form  
makes me imagine their touch,  
the way they’d feel  
tracing paths across my skin,”  
wouldn’t that be even stranger?  

So instead,  
I settle for “your humor,”  
because it’s safer  
than confessing the truth.

You looked through me,  
like there was something you saw,  
just ours, something alive in the spaces between.  
A soft spark, a language in glances,  
the way your smile felt like a hand to hold.

But now it's silence, sharp and sure.  
Days pass, but there's nothing from you  
just the cold weight of words unsaid.  
Not a call, not a trace, not a flicker,  
like you vanished with all that warmth.

Did I misread it all?  
Was it a story I made alone?  
Or did you simply forget  
to hold onto something small and real?  
Here I am, still feeling you there,  
a quiet that only I hear.

“The eyes never lie,” they claim,  
But they don’t know you, they don’t know your game.  
I thought I saw truth in the way you’d stare,  
A spark, a feeling that we both shared.  

But those eyes were a mask, a clever disguise,  
Hiding the truth behind practiced lies.  
How can you be so cold, so hollow,  
One day close, the next too far to follow?  

You looked at me like I meant something,  
Then turned away as if I was nothing.  
A flicker of hope you let burn bright,  
Only to vanish, swallowed by night.  

You are nothing but a liar in disguise,  
A heart dressed up in empty eyes.  
They say the eyes can’t deceive or betray
But yours turned my truth into shades of gray.

Today, I stop loving you.  
Today, I move on
that's what I told myself.  

But the truth sticks,  
like gum on my shoe,  
like your name in my throat.  

I realize now,  
you might not love me,  
and if you do,  
the way you show it is twisted,  
messed up.  

You don’t love me.  
I know that now.  
Not after the poem you showed me,  
the one that looked like love,  
but wasn’t.  

I felt hurt  
because I loved you.  
The poem I shared?  
That was about you.  
But I never said it.  

Now my friends tease me.  
Every time he sees me,  
he screams your name,  
and my heart tightens.  
It reminds me
I still love you.

I wish I didn’t care.  
I wish I didn’t care so much.  
I wish I didn’t care at all.  

I wish  
I wish for too many things.  
Is it because I wish too much?  
Or because I care too much,  
Feel too much,  
Fall too much?  

Am I wrong for that?  
Was my mold broken  
When they were making me?  
Or am I just broken?  

Maybe I wasn’t meant to fit,  
Wasn’t meant to bend or blend.  
Maybe I was made to feel it all—  
Every edge, every crack,  
Every shattering,  
Every stitch pulling me back.  

If my mold was broken,  
Then I’m not a mistake.  
I’m just something  
The world wasn’t ready to make.

I don’t know how you did it.  
That day, out in the field,  
surrounded by so many faces.  
My eyes found you  
just you.  
And I never looked away.  

You weren’t extraordinary.  
Not the kind of handsome that stops the world.  
But there was something about you.  
Something I can’t explain.  
Like fate took my hand and pointed,  
Him. It’s him.

But nothing happened.  
Nothing ever happened.  
And maybe it never will.  

Yet here I am,  
carrying this feeling like a wound.  
I like you.  
No  
I love you.  
Too much.  
So much it crushes me,  
so much it feels like a sickness.  

It makes me sick to know you don’t feel it.  
That you probably never even saw me.  
That I’m invisible to you,  
just another face in the crowd.  

And maybe I’m not beautiful.  
Maybe the people who say I am  
are just being polite.  
But for you, I would have given everything.  

I’ll probably never see you again.  
But you’ll stay with me.  
You’ll haunt me every day.  
Because I can’t stop thinking about you.  
I’ve tried to leave you behind.  
I told myself,  
This year, I’ll forget.  
But I couldn’t leave you in 2021.  
Or 2022.  
Or 2023.  
And now, here I am,  
dragging you into another year with me.  

I guess we were never meant to be.  
But I’ll keep loving you anyway.  
Even if it tears me apart.