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5.8k · Oct 2013
Don't Mess with my head
Temitope Popoola Oct 2013
I know you only wanna loosen the bolts in my head,

But i won't give you the pleasure of seeing me cry in my bed!

But what exactly do you gain?

Deliberately making me go through pain!

For crying out loud, I call you my friend!

So why did you turn abruptly towards the end?

I don't even know who to talk to,

because the you I used to know in black and white suddenly became another hue!

Now my only resort is to put my thoughts in declamation,

Because telling the world what I'm going through'll be like exaggeration!

But feigning not disappointed aint true,

So I'll take this as one of the major lessons to be learnt!

But know this,don't take me for a fool!

If you do, you'll be suprised to know the magnitude of the kingdom I'll rule!

I just don't understand why people take one for granted,

Hmmm,believe me when I say no one knows tomorrow.
Some old poem I stumbled upon! It's 2 years old. My mind has always worked in a funny way I suppose! Might have to check my diary to know what's up!
5.7k · Aug 2013
Unusual?
Temitope Popoola Aug 2013
How could you love someone this much and allow your parents' decision and choices to mar your future? Why does this matter anyway? Hasn't this happened several times and are the people involved not happy? Can't everyone just pretend not to see things and carry on with their businesses? So many questions played in Fiona's mind! There were answers, but she was unsatisfied! She wanted things to go her own way! She parked a few metres from her house and stared into the thin air!
Keji, her friend had told her "Babes, you gotta do what gotta do!". She chuckled, when she'd told her that; it sounded like a slur! But now that she's faced with the reality of making that decision, she'd gone bizarre! Flayed emotion and uncollected thoughts. She took a deep breath and started the car,  what does it matter anyway? She's an adult, and at twenty six she had the right to live her life and live it to the fullest!
She drove into her parents' house and  was received warmly! She'd called her mum ahead of the visit and was pleased to know her father wasn't home!
"Look who we have here, Fiona!" Her mum had said heartily hugging her. She raised an eyebrow, something's definitely up! Her mum sure could act!
She settled herself into one of the comfortable chairs as her mother excitedly moved about!
"Remember Jude? He's in town and I heard he'll be around for long. He asked after you." Her mum offered her juice and eyed her, searching for her reaction and waiting for her response! She got it, Fiona was clearly irritated and moved restlessly in her chair.
"Mum, not again please! I could make my own choices! Stop making me feel like I have a problem hooking up with men." She blurted out. Her mum wasn't surprised, it was just the anticipated reaction.
"You sure don't. Considering that you've never brought anyone home as your boyfriend" her mother answered, sarcastically.
"And every of your friends' sonos are always showing up in town and asking after me. I met Emeka under the impression that he was after me and I discovered he'd never heard about me and was treating me with pity! Like I had an issue with men. I do not like it" She explained to her mum, her voice laced with emotion.
Her mum bowed her head as if in deep thought, let out a sigh.
For minutes neither of them spoke! Fiona's beautiful face was shielded with the long peruvian hair that hung carelessly on her head! Her eye ***** were huge, and looked like they were going to give in to tears any moment from now. She'd worked at different companies before she finally settled with a top oil and gas company. She'd had different challenges with guys and wasn't willing to try anymore when she met the man she'd actually gone home to tell her mum about!
"There is someone and I want you to meet him" she walked around the house. Her mother's face lit up and then concern crept up it. "Do I know him? Is it serious?" She answered, "He's nice, caring, and loves me"
Smiling nervously, she picked her clutch bag and moved to the door. "You would meet him, tell Dad. And mum," She paused "Please be nice"
She was glad that phase was over. She told her fiance about the outcome and prepared him for the much dreaded visit to her parents' house.
They decided to make it on a sunday, her father, Lieutenant Joseph was home and was so pleased to see his daughter after all. He looked at the man beside her on the sofa and gave her a meaningful look. She shifted uneasily in her seat. The mother joined them in her sweeping gown and looked suspiciously at her daughter. She had on her the look of 'I smell a rat'. She sat beside her husband who fondly pulled her to his side. They watched a popular soap opera, Edges of Paradise and for a long time everyone seemed caught up in the family opera.  Fiona's mother coughed eerily, and everyone's attention was forced to her, she batted her fake long lashes and spoke "So?"
Fiona picked it from there, "Dad, I came over some weeks ago and told mum I was going to bring over my fiance so..." Before she could complete her statement her mother cut her short!
" Yes, you did Sweetheart, but don't you think it's rather rude for you to rush us by bringing in his father instead? You should have brought the young man instead" Her mother said eyeing the man with contempt.
Fiona was shocked, how could her mother refer to her fiance that way? Yes he's older than her but what? Does age hold the key to happiness. She looked at her father quickly, pleading for help with her eyes but he seemed somewhat humbled by his wife presence and speech.
"Mother, that's not fair. How could you speak about him in that tone? This is the man I want to marry." She said with heat. At that moment her fiance was getting uncomfortable, he tried holding Fiona's hand but it was hot, his too was moist with sweat. He didn't expect things to go too well but at the same time he was caught unaware! Her mother shifted forward in her chair, "Now gentleman may we know you?"
"I'm Victor Okon, I'm an entrepreneur and run a chain of businesses within and outside Nigeria. I met your daughter few years ago but we started seeing each other two years ago. I like her ma and would be pleased if I could marry her." He stated flatly. He was tired and didn't like the way both parents stared at him. To him, he was doing something noble by going to their house but the look they were giving him made him feel like a child molester. Would they have preferred it if they'd met in another way, like him going there to say he's responsible for putting their daughter in the family way?
The father didn't say a word and that made him wonder what kind of family they were. Then he gave it another thought and concluded perhaps, it's the way of military personnel. When it comes to family they are always cool headed but duty time, they are as hot as hell. Occasionally, when they let out their anger, they are unrestrained. Fiona's mother's eyes narrowed as she started speaking again.
"How old are you?" She had hit the nail on the head. That was the bone of contention and Victor Okon rubbed his hands. His hair a mixture of grey and black had somewhat given him out. But there was no point lying, if he ended up marrying her they would have to know sooner or later. He was a man of integrity and worth who didn't value recklessness. He was responsible.
Fiona took over, taking the bull by the horn,"He's forty-five, younger than you by three years, so what?". She spat out, a look of disdain played on her face. Her mother retorted " If he's young enough to be my brother then he's old enough to be your father" that stung, drop of tears rolled from Fiona's eyes. Her father, who'd let the conversation flow for a long time spoke,
"You ladies should keep it cool in here, why don't you go into the kitchen and get us something to drink in here? We want to have a tete-a-tete." Fiona jumped from the chair and stalked out of the living room, her mother followed swiftly. Even as the kitchen door closed, one could still hear their voices .
Her father spoke with Victor and he found out he really liked the man. But he was concerned about them understanding each other, relationships like that most times comes with huge load of commitments. He was worried about her future, and how long it might take for them to really connect. There were lots of people in the society with that kind of situation and they were doing fine. Some too on the other hand had failed at it. They spoke for a long time and Victor was able to voice out his mind. He felt it was a normal reaction for the mother, considering the fact that they were about to give him their eyeteeth. They heard a crash followed by a loud sound in the kitchen and stopped abruptly, Fiona stormed out holding her hand to one side of her face, she picked up her hand bag and asked Victor to meet her at home. She left the house and Victor rendered his apologies. He shook the father's hands, nodded at the mother and walked out calmly.
He met Fiona outside crying, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. He drove in silence, she played with her fingers and finally let out a sigh, she was scared of losing him and said,
"I'll do whatever it takes, I will" He didn't say a word, he just nodded!  
He wondered in his mind, what's there loving someone older or younger? Isn't love the most important thing?
In Nigeria, the society kinda frowns at stuffs like this and age doesn't grant one liberty from parents' guiding eyes.
5.1k · Jan 2014
Discipline
Temitope Popoola Jan 2014
As much as my body screams to be touched I won't let you
As much as I long to be held in your arms while the fire cackles it won't happen too
My desires has brought me so much pain I forgot what it was I felt in the first place
And finally it seems I've been able to control my emotional pace
It's my body, so why should it lead me on and ditch all sane thoughts
I really want that kiss but if I got it I'll be tempted for more
I'm afraid of myself, of what this one touch would do to me
It'll happen eventually and would come with waves of emotion
But when it does, I want it to be free of future regrets and depression
Some random thoughts
4.2k · Oct 2013
God Save Nigeria
Temitope Popoola Oct 2013
I don't know what you could call this exactly,
I was at a musical concert in one of the states
And a school filled with children of less than 13 years of age
Presented a song which I could call a petition.
They were praying earnestly for God to save Nigeria
From lawless people, bloodshed, assassination and a list of other wreckless things
It touched me that finally, it has gotten to this! When children start to file a petition to God against our leaders saying for their sake God should save the nation
It's a bit disturbing that even the kids know that there is a problem with this nation.
Do we have to ridicule ourselves forever? The children who were in the ***** and groins some years back have come to understand the situation and are crying out.
The educational standard is falling to pieces and the threads would have to be carefully woven together if we wanna make something out of it again.
It's embarrassing to know that there are so many sectors that has failed, absolutely nothing is working.  
Our leaders still apportion blame. Roads are not good and then you get to hear one is a federal road one is state owned. Does it matter who owns the road if it is in their country?
Why aren't everyone looking beyond their noses and see what's wrong. Our youths have resolved to fraud when hard work and talents aren't appreciated.
Universities have been shut down for months now in the name of strike and the government officials could afford to eat and carry on their daily activities!
Aren't they meant to be in the hospital, complaining of one illness or the other as a result of the unrest the matter has caused? Disheartening! Even the hospitals go on strike and innocent people are left to die as a result of no medical attention.
I was moved to tears when these children sang. The nation's unrest and matters have become prayer points in all places of worship. God should indeed look down from His throne, have mercy on us and save Nigeria!
The children sang this word
"God save Nigeria
God save Nigeria
From wicked people,
From bloodshed,
From assasination,
From lawlessness,
For the sake of the children oh Lord,
Save Nigeria. "
3.4k · Oct 2013
Unfaithful
Temitope Popoola Oct 2013
Tell me you couldn't do it anymore and had to leave
Tell me I wasn't what you bargained for and the feeling isn't real
Tell me I'm stubborn and maybe too ambitious for you to deal with
Tell me I'm naïve sometimes and can't seem to keep up with your beat
But never tell me I made you leave
Never tell me you tried to get even by going for my friend
Never tell me I had roaches in my cupboard,
Never tell me you left because I was unfaithful.
3.2k · Oct 2013
The confession
Temitope Popoola Oct 2013
It had been a good morning. I woke up feeling beautiful and full of life. I'd called my very good friend Fola for our usual morning chat and we had teased ourselves over the phone. She got drunk the night before at the club and some random guy had taken advantage of her drunkenness! He was about to start fondling her ***** when I came into the picture! She was giggly and flirty and that probably gave the guy the green light.

She was a bit embarrassed when I brought it up but Fola was a cool headed person so she laughed it off. I went through my daily routine like a zombie, it was the same old thing; dress up, go for lectures and then see what else we could do with the day. The week was usually like that. We take turns to sleep in each other's room, we were always together. She had a serious relationship! At least it looked that way at the time and I wasn't envious, I'd never been that kind of person. But I was just a free lady, men didn't appeal to me much but occasionally I get some that are my type but they always come with a price. In came this guy, I'd met him through her. The kind of guy that goes with anything and anyone. He speaks well and before I knew it, he became my addiction. She wasn't comfortable with it, but it was harmless! With her relationship she sure was heading for the alter so I discarded all the pointers I saw. She couldn't be in love with Scott, it would be farcical. Weeks later Raymond asked me out and I said no. I didn't want anything that'll get in the way of our friendship. And considering the fact that he was quite controversial, I didn't want to be his fancy woman either.

However, I found solace in him and discovered he really had ears for listening. He made me calm in the most ugly situation. He was my rock, I depended on him. We had it going for a while and one day he offered to take me out for dinner and I didn't hesitate. I unwittingly got into a situation I would have preferred on a normal day to be a nightmare.  He had a friend with him so there was no need to be nervous. We had a civilised conversation, nothing unnerving. I was starting to have the idea of me and him together, a happy ever after kind of story. I was wrong, I was in for it and sure took the bait. Time passed so quickly it was late! There was no cab for me to call and he said he couldn't drive me home! I wasn't sure, but the probing between my thighs wanted to explore. We got to his house and we settled.


Later things got really emotional and we started to kiss. I was on tenterhooks. My hands roamed his body softly, afraid I would tamper with something delicate. He explored my body with confidence, my ******* were taut when his hands found them at last. I made sounds in my throat and he giggled! When his mouth found my *******, I gasped! He ****** them as he spread my thigh and fondled with my honey spot. When he finally took me, it was ecstasy. He was mumbling reassuring words and I responded with passion. We were at it, somewhat changing positions, I was embarrassed and he laughed at me. When he came, he tried to stop himself from shouting by using my shoulder. He left me ******* bite marks. I nursed the shoulder for a few days and that was all.


When my friend called me, she was somewhat disappointed and insinuated I'd been used and it shouldn't have been me. I was dumbfounded, I shed hot tears and couldn't stop. Could Ray be the kind of guy who kiss and tell? I heard words I've said to him being replayed and aired by various audience. My relationship with Fola became estranged and there was nothing we could do about it. We stopped sharing thoughts while I hurt! Fola knew me better than anyone in the world, but this particular pain I wasn't willing to share. I felt foolish.

He'd made the bite marks the reference point and evidence. The incessant calls, texts and affection was just a coy. I was broken beyond repair. I didn't wanna get healed. I stopped trusting and couldn't see beyond the hurt. I lost the desire to live. There was nothing to say to those who knew about it, it was simply an emotional mire.
In the end, the possibility I created in my head- of us being together was nothing but a mirage!
2.3k · Nov 2013
Chase them catch them
Temitope Popoola Nov 2013
Dotun yawned noisily as he stretched. He walked sleepily to the bathroom, relieved himself and made some funny face to the mirror. He looked himself over, raised an eyebrow, checked the transformation in the mirror then tried the other eyebrow. He kept doing this till his phone rang and he went into the room to pick it.
"Guy, what's up? I'm fine. ...". He went mute for a while, listening to Fred talk and give him certain information on the other line. He paced the entire length of his room till the call ended. One hour later he was ready to leave the house, all fresh and clean. He drove out in his Range Rover and headed to work. He was often referred to as a chauvinistic, cocky man. The initials in his name Dotun P. Ajala had been turned from Phillip to Player. He had a history with women and was proud.  He was simply incontinent when it came to the opposite *** and the fact that they flock around him made matters worse. His upbringing had been a bit cool, born in penury, luck suddenly smiled on them when his parents won the American visa lottery and they had to leave. They didn't let go of the training and experiences life has taught them, hence he wasn't mollycoddled as a kid. Ego was another aspect of him that was tantamount to his habits with women. He simply hated being turned down. He entered into his office without paying any attention to anyone, it was habitual and they've all come to understand. However, nothing ever goes unnoticed.
While he did his work with an air of insouciance, he couldn't help but ponder on his conversation with Fred. In between, he'd stopped and laughed derisively. It was simply impossible. How could he be made to face such allegations? It was farcical.
Linda had been nothing but a one night stand who incidentally traded her virginity the first time he met her. As usual, he was ready to move on to the next one but she kept pulling some emotional strings and wouldn't let go. She had brought up different issues but he was undaunted. He stopped picking her calls and finally placed her in his past where her type belonged.
She'd gone to Fred freaked out and not willing to accept defeat. Most importantly she was pregnant and wasn't willing to do anything about it. Dotun scratched his head and wondered how he'd managed making it to the office acting cool. Fred had informed him that she said she was going to create a media noise and make sure his parents hear about it. That was way too much. He just couldn't take it, he was being blackmailed.
"****, **** ****" he cursed aloud and kicked his waste bin so hard it tumbled and made some crashing noise. A young lady rushed in on impulse to see if all was well but the look he shot her sent her in the same direction she'd emerged.
He'd never been cajoled, much less from a 21 year old girl who now became his biggest problem. She had him confused, she was naïve.
He picked up the phone and dialled some numbers, barked some orders and parked his stuffs. He was out of there before anyone could say jack. He went through lawyers and tried to see from the legal view what the case was going to look like. Linda seemed to have had everything strategized and he had a lot to lose in turn.
When the Ajalas got to know weeks later, they were so pleased they immediately agreed to let the engagement party for Dotun and Linda take place in their home and without further delay. Dotun didn't like that things were becoming formal but there was little he could do. Linda's growing baby bump was noticeable. Thus, they became couples. Linda was satisfied, her baby would grow knowing its father and she most importantly would not be a laughing stock. She cared less whether Dotun touched her or not, his baby was growing within her.
Dotun's status became the talk of town and ladies avoided him like he had a plague. The few who stayed around did at their own risk. He got tired of the person he used to be, Linda made his life hell. She had a routine for him. He had to get home before a certain time, failure to do so would result into some argument, then make her land in the hospital. It was like she did it on purpose. Each time she was at the hospital, it was for nothing serious. Then the bills come astronomically for ordinary bed rest. He gave up everything for her. She trounced him. Things remained like that for a long time till he met the woman who changed his cards.
Tokunbo had entered his life swiftly. He had stood transfixed at the supermarket where he went to get baby things. She was gorgeous and looked like a make-belief model. Everything about her was icy and she didn't try to correct that impression with first timers. She just didn't have the time, and knowing the effect she had on people it was balanced. He walked up to her with some prepared lines in his head but when she faced him nothing came out of his mouth. He couldn't take all of her beauty in.
"Do you need help with the diaper in your hands? You sure look like you could use one yourself" she said eyeing him all over.
He was taken back, no one had ever talked him down like that, let alone a woman. He  was furious but something about her struck him, her accent was funny and it thrilled him the more. By the time he could put on his player boy demeanour, she had turned her back on him. He wasn't ready to back down.
"I think you're a bit rude, I just wanted to let you know you are beautiful and this colour you have on suits you" he stated flatly.
"You walk up to some chic holding baby diaper and you still wanna psyche her? Why don't you try your luck elsewhere?"
The irritation registered on Tokunbo's face could be read easily. She dropped the shopping basket and left. Dotun was embarrassed but he made up his mind that not even the myriads of insults he got from miss-whatever-her-name-is would make him give up on her.
He narrated his ordeal to Fred who had laughed hysterically. He asked him series of questions about this chic and he couldn't even answer. As far as he was concerned, chasing her was futile.
"Look Dotun, you are married. Why not let things stay that way? Running after some hot chic with your wife in that condition is just not right."
"But for the first time in my life I met someone who feels right for me. Someone I want to live with forever." Dotun defended himself, he was brow beaten at his own game. He'd had that kind of attitude towards girls in the past and to think that finally he got his match was too much to settle for.
Fred's raucous laughter annoyed him.
"Well, if you'd been more calm and cool headed, things might not have turned out this way." He chided.
"Or what do you have in mind? You want to search for this lady, propose to her or what? And considering her double edged tongue, you would be dead soon." Fred concluded.
Dotun's phone beeped, the look on his face gave him away. He answered not pleased.
"Linda. She wants me to buy her Suya, and in five minutes." Fred had another bout of laughter.
"You are hooked man, go home to your loving wife" he said patting him on the shoulder. If there was any word that would have described Linda, it sure wasn't 'Loving'. Dotun threw him an exasperated look and left.
It's prosaic, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.
1.5k · Sep 2013
Guilt Extended
Temitope Popoola Sep 2013
How do I begin this crazy tale?   
Because each time my thought's' reassembled I get pale.
Here is a situation I can't bear with grace
But glory be to God I'm in a quiet place.

When this guy and  I met,
I knew there was no rooms of gossip to let,
He was almost everything I ever wanted in a man,
Still, he can't be compared to my handsome Dan
Who left me gasping for breath with a silly fan.
Life with my neophyte love was great,
An appointment wit him I wouldn't be late.
I could get there and keep smiling like a fool,
He wouldn't know about my nervousness so we'll get through.

Moments quantified in decades rushed in on us,
Yet in reality we were only months old and so rust.
Problems splashed in like a mighty tidal wave,
That our only solitude was our emotional cave.
One night I woke up so tired and sick,
I called him and he wanted a fight to pick.
 I said "Life couldn't be all sleeky and silk",
He said "Yes,  you aint so creamy as milk"
My temper flared and my mouth raced.
He said "Your voice with me should never be raised",
My heart beat quickened, I was so amazed.
And gently and arrogantly, the receiver was replaced.
I held my own receiver in hand, with mouth gaped,
Eyes bulging out as if I would be *****.
Recalling that night, my emotions I thought I faked,
But I made up my mind to show him I was fully baked.

The morning came with dew, yet at me it snarled,
I've got no option so at it too I drawled.
I dabbed my make up on with red on my eye brow,
And to what gave me my sober reflection, a bow.
I stepped out of my house located in a ghetto,
And the only noise heard was from my stiletto,
People passing by thought I was off to a show,
But my pouting lips adorned in red said it was a row.

Got a good cab and off I went.
Reached my destination and hopped out.
The driver expected his money but I aint got honey,
So I looked at him with nose wrinkled and funny.
He hurled abuses at me before he sped off,
I knew better than to waste my time on him.
I reached my guy's room and kicked the door with a rim,
He came out angry as if he wanted to sing a war hymn.

I bounced into d room with ******* galloping,
Checking the room till i found her groping.
She hurriedly dressed up and made for d door.
I stopped her and told her "You are a sorry *****".
The following between us ensued.
Him: For doing this i could get you sued.
Me: oh come on, I'm trying not to be rude.
Him: What just happened tells you I'm a dude.
Me: So that explains seeing a girl in your bed ****?
My temper rose and fell while he squirmed,
My trust and love in my face was tossed.
I told him he was ***** and dingy,
He said my love with him has been very stingy.
My resolve broke and reminded him how we met,

He said " I don't care so go to hell",
I knew i'd see him there ringing the bell.
I pushed him so hard dat lanky him fell.
He managed a subtle laugh as he was burning.
I got scared and eventually tried running.
I knew it was the last episode of our affair,
Even though he hasn't been so very fair.
" I thought you were going to be the  man I'll marry,
but you'll make me go singly to the party.
People said to me our love will indeed tarry,
and now that it has ,i aint so happy".
When he met me months later,it was for vendetta,
but I thought of him as being in a state so mental.
Yet he was ready for a show or drama
But he said "Hey ******! Your son lives with your grandma".
I broke down and wept feeling dizzy,
For I kept that one thing to him a secret.
If I had been open so far, we would have had a purpose,
But Dan's coming to take his child and propose!
1.3k · Sep 2013
I Stand Alone
Temitope Popoola Sep 2013
I stand alone, no friends but foes
I eagerly stand in a corner on my toes
Listening, waiting and full of patience
Not because I'm such, but because I've learnt from life
Finally, life's gotten to me and I'm broken
Broken because I've given my all and none have I gotten
Loved and gave so much without holding back
All my care and affection have been tossed in my face
I stand dejected, like an adult who's wet his pants publicly
Tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth,
Words have failed me for I know I've failed myself
Trusting and urging everyone while I unknowingly lost myself
Now I'm left with nothing but regrets and pain
Green cards and cameras flashing in the faces of those I've inspired
No pang of jealousy in me, neither have I sown the seed of envy
But I just wished I'd invested the excess energy I've given in myself.
1.1k · Jul 2013
My Life
Temitope Popoola Jul 2013
I'm black and proud,
My skin is rich and has veins of integrity!
My heart is soft,beautiful and not gritty.
My eyes are intent,yet filled with warmth.
My lips are full and give out smiles that melts the heart.
I might have had challenges,
Might have seen things worthy of pushing one to the edge,
But I won't lose my head over those things!
Standing tall and overcoming is the best option,
But indeed,life could be so cruel
The one you expect so much from could disappoint Ʊ in a flash.
What is this world that the material things have gained priority?
Mscheeeew,"vanity upon vanity,all is vanity".
And if Ʊ hate me because I'm rigid,then so be it!
My principles will not change,they'll remain the same.
That is what makes me.
Some things are logical,and it is only normal for one to do them!
I would not sell my birthright over a plate of porridge!
I will not let down my guard over things that are not worth it!
I am me! And I am black and beautiful!
And the blood of modesty flow through me!
1.0k · Sep 2013
As it comes
Temitope Popoola Sep 2013
My life has taken another course,
Every emotional thread squeezed of its strength
Bravery and patience washed carefully from my soul
While servitude has become my must-play role
Why have I become a bitter person?

Was it not I  who was full of vigour some years ago?
Then why has circumstances and events made me so?
I'm not afraid to make this confession. No, I'm not
For denying myself the freedom truth brings has made me rust

I've been spiteful, seeking vengeance and expecting apologies!
Wanting to correct every wrong and be free of those worries
Being used and abused in all ways because I let them
I see the devil behind their looks and I still hold on to their hem

Believing and trusting the love I express will be reciprocated
Confusing vile hard thrusts with love thought to be unadulterated
Heartbreaks became dirts in my skin that couldn't be washed
And the aftermath was pains that didn't wanna be rushed

Everyone's had a role to play and has left their marks
Some are sores I'm still nursing, others memories I hold dear to heart
I've consoled myself many times by saying "Que sera sera"
It's high time I took an action that'll truly put behind that era

So now I'm just going to act and play the game "wild and free"
And I implore everyone who knows about my sooty pasts to let me be
This newly found freedom has a temperament that wildly burns,
And I'm going to take each day brightly or as it comes!
1.0k · Jan 2014
At some point
Temitope Popoola Jan 2014
At some point he must have liked me enough to call everyday,
Thoughts of me clouded his sanity and I liked it
He could barely go 6 hours without hearing my laughter
*He made me laugh even harder
He was my rainbow, I was his sunshine
Does he now live shrouded in darkness?
Or has technology provided him illumination?
I had the best valentine with him,
He made me feel special in everyway then,
Am I still that wonderful person he used to talk to?
Or these words we said to each other were vain and empty?
How could he go on and ignore me like we never happened?
Is it normal to feel this broken with constant thoughts of him?
I guess I was just some girl who thrilled him at some point.
1000 · Feb 2014
Entangled mess
Temitope Popoola Feb 2014
Right from the start we were an entangled mess
Worked really hard to create what could not be
I'd always known my own weaknesses but I didn't wanna dwell on them
I told him my fears and he looked like he could deal with them
I said 'yes' because I was optimistic
We barely lasted a day after that.
He wanted to know what was in my head
That way he revived the memories of the things I left dead
He pushed me so hard that I broke
I just didn't think I could cope
I don't do well under pressure tainted by jealousy
And I surely can't stand being ordered around (I should add that to my resume)
So I'm at that same spot,
I'm not happy things didn't work out
And I'm not sad it ended either
Maybe within me it's a conflict of emotion
Maybe my assumptions have always been faulty
But I was right when I predicted we were an entangled mess
Nevertheless, I have beautiful memories of us to hold
984 · Jul 2013
A different kind of love
Temitope Popoola Jul 2013
He held her gently and looked into her eyes
She looked away and threw the dice
"Look, it's a four" she giggled
He looked at her and this time around he kissed her
She blushed and realized he wanted to talk
"What is it Luke? Are you alright?"
He looked stressed like he added another twenty years over night,
"I'm not going to be around for long" he said softly
"Are you leaving me?" The light drained from her eyes
"No, not that, you need to get a life" he said blatantly
Holding a hand to her mouth, she wept quietly
She sniffed in a few times and pulled her rebellious hair behind her ears
He loosened his hold of her, "Sarah, I'm an old man, I don't have your kind of strength"
She screamed as she cried, "But I love you, what is the matter with you?" For some seconds she held her breadth
"Who is she? Who the hell is she?" she asked quietly,
He looked at her in wild disbelief and grunted, "Oh Sarah"
"Is she older, with grey hair like you? Does her belly sag? Has she done surgery or something? Someone you met in your college back then? Or she sell books?..." Her list was endless. He watched her with interest, their relationship was unusually right. She was the daughter he never had, just that she came with a different tag "girlfriend". And their relationship had gone from one with mutual understanding to another with undeniable thirst for love. She was fragile to him, he was soothing to her! He'd taught her bit of things he'd gathered from his life experience and her youthful vibe and energy had pushed him beyond limit. They complimented each other in a crazy way. She would dance and drag him all the way, his weak thrusts she accepted gratefully. She was contented, didn't want more!
"Ok, it's Cancer" he cut her off. She twirled around,
"That's her name? Really lame! I can't believe this" she walked away from him and stopped abruptly.
"Cancer? Oh my God! You are sick?" She blurted out. She looked like she was going to faint.
He tried to calm her down as she went hysterical, she didn't wanna be alone and begged him not to die. She sprayed his hair with dye and cooked healthy meals, everything just to make him stay. He asked her to leave many times but she swore never to, at least not in his trying times.
Weeks went by and months followed swiftly. In his last days, she never left his sides. He looked healthier than her, she made jokes that made him choke with laughter. And finally, she resolved to silence. They communicated with their hearts and eyes. The nurses admired her courage and wanted to know more.
"Sarah, your father would be fine" One had said to her. She chuckled, her eyes never leaving him as she answered, "He's the boyfriend that never took me to the alter"
The nurse hurried away. After he passed on, her life  took an uneventful turn.
921 · Sep 2013
As it comes
Temitope Popoola Sep 2013
My life has taken another course,
Every emotional thread squeezed of its strength
Bravery and patience washed carefully from my soul
While servitude has become my must-play role
Why have I become a bitter person?

Was it not I  who was full of vigour some years ago?
Then why has circumstances and events made me so?
I'm not afraid to make this confession. No, I'm not
For denying myself the freedom truth brings has made me rust

I've been spiteful, seeking vengeance and expecting apologies!
Wanting to correct every wrong and be free of those worries
Being used and abused in all ways because I let them
I see the devil behind their looks and I still hold on to their hem

Believing and trusting the love I express will be reciprocated
Confusing vile hard thrusts with love thought to be unadulterated
Heartbreaks became dirts in my skin that couldn't be washed
And the aftermath was pains that didn't wanna be rushed

Everyone's had a role to play and has left their marks
Some are sores I'm still nursing, others memories I hold dear to heart
I've consoled myself many times by saying "Que sera sera"
It's high time I took an action that'll truly put behind that era

So now I'm just going to act and play the game "wild and free"
And I implore everyone who knows about my sooty pasts to let me be
This newly found freedom has a temperament that wildly burns,
And I'm going to take each day brightly or as it comes!
875 · Jul 2013
Bolder and Stronger
Temitope Popoola Jul 2013
Thy word is indeed soothing,
It nourishes my soul in times of distress
And puts a restraint on my lousy and hot tempered spirit.
Even in trying times,
I find a perfect solitude in thee.
Thy word is like a gentle breeze
Which blows a calmness on my troubled soul
How intriguing is it,that one could lose a lot in a moment of fury,
The plans of the devil is always carefully woven
And it takes a divine touch and faith
To pull through the storms of life.
My works might have been tested by fire,
In the very end, it would stand the test of time,
And something generations will always refer to.
Although, in my present pain, I feel so empty and void
But in me, flows a living spring that would never dry.
His mercies have kept me and wouldn't let go
Even as I've found peace for my soul,
I pray you find one too because,
I hold it not against you
You will be my testimony!
I wrote a hundred and twenty poems for five years, I had it in a book! I wrote more than that during this period but the 120 were mine, the ones I wrote for various newspapers were not kept. It was for the public, but these were mine! No back up or anything, and someone deliberately burned the collection! I wrote this to vent.
What do you think of it?
846 · Jul 2013
Boredom
Temitope Popoola Jul 2013
This feels insanely annoying
Sitting down having nothing to do
I wanna run, jump, dance and be free
But no matter how hard I try I'm stuck
I'm tired of my daily activities
I need a break while I take in the fresh ocean air
I want to soar on the wings of the eagle
I just don't wanna be locked up in this room
805 · Oct 2013
Broken Wings
Temitope Popoola Oct 2013
When i love, trust and respect you it doesn't mean I can't be cruel.

When i keep quiet and let your words sting,it's not like I couldn't be rude.

It's because I love you and I don't want  you to see my other hue.

I don't do things for pity

Like most people in the city,

I don't choose doing things by simplicity,

I follow my heart so far it makes me happy and I don't care if i ended up in d dark.

Don't I deserve the right to be bad?

Even if it gets everyone mad?

No, I don't. I'm made of fine stuff and my manners tell me I shouldn't be rough.

Here I stand in a world shroud in thick darkness

While my heart wails loudly and my ears can't pick the sounds,

My body shake vehemently while my head tells me I'm lost.

Tears sting my eyes while my cheeks feel the warm torrent.

 Oh my! How did I end up with broken wings?

 Yet, I didn't partake in activities called flings.

 Is it a crime to have trusted and believed so much in you?

 Oh,where then is the love?
Another old poem! I remember this one...youthful exuberance?
800 · May 2014
RIP Maya Angelou
Temitope Popoola May 2014
Death is inevitable,
Your passing isn't something I like,
Your writings filled me with inspiration
Your works simply intimidates me
And thank God I had the opportunity of reading your work here on Hellopoetry
I really can't explain how it made me feel to know you once shared this platform with us
And it's really sad to lose a writer and poet
She was exceptionally good, such a rare and talented writer
She was simply phenomenal
May God rest her soul
She would live on in our hearts
Adieu Maya Angelou.
792 · Oct 2013
Hopelessly hopeless
Temitope Popoola Oct 2013
It's been a long time I've felt this way, hopeless.
I feel like my life's a total mess. And there's this desire to cry out my pains and rejection,
Something's wrong somewhere but I can't place it

I feel funny and don't know why!
It couldn't be that this would be the last poem I'll write? I'm not suicidal and there's a thought somewhere that I'm not gonna last.
Maybe being successful is just a facade after all

There's something I crave for, something beautiful and I don't have it.

Moments like this make me realize how empty I am
There's not a single soul I could call that'll make me feel better,
Have I finally hidden myself and this seclusion is destroying me?

I'm afraid of being intimate with anyone because I feel they'll always leave,
Am I being crazy? I mean who decides his or her own fate?

I don't even have the right to. But there's this emptiness that is quietly crushing me and being subjective to loneliness.
I wanna cry, I wanna let the tears flow
Maybe it'll make me feel better you know?

And if you call it moodswing nothing has triggered this mood
My mouth is so bitter I can't take in any food.
I don't want to be this bitter person, I don't want to be empty within.
778 · Aug 2013
August 20th
Temitope Popoola Aug 2013
And like yesterday, here I am grown
Comparing my development with the rate at which time has flown
Thankful for each moment of pain and toil
Recalling the times I've been burned and ridiculously torn
Relishing the first hand experience I've gained with it all
For there was nothing as adventurous as that
For the times I beamed with excitement
When my eyes danced and laughed with my lips curled in smiles
When tears of joy raced on my standard-tracked cheeks
Or times when I just gaped in wonder, humbled by God's greatness
It's been Him all the way, leading, guiding and full of love,
Inspiring, encouraging and tenderly pushing me forward!
Words elude me, expressions fail me because He hasn't left me
I'm grateful because He's been my more than enough He
A wonderful happy birthday to me!!!
751 · Oct 2013
Heaven is inside of you
Temitope Popoola Oct 2013
Have you ever thought of that possibility?
That the heaven we all crave and dream of could be inside of us
I do not want to poison your minds with my silly thoughts
So think about it carefully  and make your conclusion

First of all, I'm not a pagan and I believe in God
And I pray as always never to in anyway incur His wrath
I believe in His son and could recite the nicene creed
And my faith in Him is bigger than the mustard seed

This world is full of trials, troubles and tribulations
People living their lives in reckless abandon and with less gradation
Taking each day as it is, forgetting they are part of something noble
And has been called even unto a greater purpose

When we are desperate for a miracle, we lift our eyes to the sky
Funny, has anyone ever travelled there and back? So why?
What if it's something abstract one could call a mirage?
And all it takes to get there lies inside of you.

For the ticket, build as many houses as you can or even buy
Write as many poems as you can and let them trend
Be scholarly and have many awards and trains of friends
None of these would go with you when your life ends

*Your character, faith, good deeds and other beautiful attributes would be your judge
This has been my thoughts for a while now! I don't know if it came out well. I hope I don't confuse anyone with it too.
710 · Sep 2013
Mother Don't spite me
Temitope Popoola Sep 2013
Game time, read and follow the instructions! Here's a chance for you to contribute to this wonderful story, fix your own sentences by dropping your comment and it will be added to the story! "Mother don't spite me"- www.temiwrites.wordpress.com
I've started the story though and it might just be fun doing this as a writer, good luck with it!
670 · Aug 2014
Leave
Temitope Popoola Aug 2014
I can't believe it took us 6 months to be here
After the talks and moments of laying bare
We wrecked each other emotionally
Just leave already.
I'm not going to cry or croon
Neither would I play Adele's "Someone like you"
I'm going to get over this like it never happened.
661 · Jul 2013
Sonnet: Paint me a river
Temitope Popoola Jul 2013
Paint me a river with beautiful colours
One that tells of a certain kind of love
Don't forget to add the brown sand
That tells of the richness of the land
Paint me a river with a beautiful sky
With the kind of nature that makes one cry
And forget not the webbed feet creatures
They add a certain warmth to the features
Paint me a river with an open view
And through it I want to see you
And feel everything you felt painting it
You don't have to include the newt
Paint me a river and I'll sing you a song
One that portrays your imagination as being strong
654 · Sep 2013
Empty
Temitope Popoola Sep 2013
Failed promises mourned with soft moans and muffled cries
Words that once creased my face with smiles, now turned lies
Broken spirit have made my body go numb and unfeeling like ice
And I'm left with an ache so enormous in size!  
You don't have to read and click the button 'like'
I just wanna pour out my heart and not get psyched
See if I could like a pond build around my heart a solid ****
If it would ever make me secured, tsk!
But really, is it normal for me to feel this depressed?
Those who's lost it a long time ago think I'm blessed!
Maybe I am, on the brighter side but then what's with this foul mood?
That has made me non-chalant and rude!
I don't like this transformation that has made me sobersided
Not like I wanna lallygag but I'll just love to be free-minded
Not to feel this emptiness that is frustrating me
Just wanna be at peace with everyone and still be who God wants me to be
Went through some old messages and this came up! I'm trying to find peace for my soul!
640 · Aug 2013
Success
Temitope Popoola Aug 2013
You could be a galaxy of success, all you have to do is bring out the stars in you!
637 · Oct 2013
Reality of life
Temitope Popoola Oct 2013
Life is beautiful.
We make so many wonderful memories!  
And the houses we live in aren't just empty spaces
Such beautiful moments have been had in it.
Children playing and growing. Ragged dolls stuffed in corners
Late night sneaking out of teenagers, kisses and curdles in the sitting room
Occasional making out sessions in the garden.
Parents screaming, trying to drive their points home,
Children crying, defiant.
Birthdays and anniversaries celebrated with love,
Most importantly, everyone's made their marks and the space in the house isn't empty after all.
Grandparents passing on left a void in our lives, so does the loss of loved ones
And as surely as life goes on, we move on too. Remembering them in one way or the other.
Pictures of them remain with us forever! And suddenly, there's no proof of them being here in the first place
It's like some good artist sat down and created paintings of a particular image
Adding colours of grey to their head to show they are ageing
Or perhaps some lines on their faces to show that the stress of this world got to them too,
  an extension of the corners of their mouth to show happy moments!
It just doesn't make sense any more.
Discovering someone you've known all your life has vanished and would never come back
And you clutch desperately to albums as if that would keep them forever in your hearts.
Hmmmm! The memories are important! I'll make mine too.
637 · May 2015
Inner thoughts
Temitope Popoola May 2015
I've been living my life like I'm on edge
Being on the verge of tears every single day
With this darkness around my heart how could I feel the day's ray?
I feel broken and empty, lost and dejected.
How could I give up something so real and beautiful?
Allowing sentiments and "what ifs" to define me
I found love when I least expected it
**** happened, it left me and I became wrecked.
Depressed and miserable! The tears stopped flowing.
I took a bolder step and immersed myself in alcohol.
Not even alcohol could knock out the pain gripping my heart.
Or this constant pang of guilt that I couldn't fight for this love.
Family is important. I lost this fight to them.
But in the process, they threw me to the wolves.
For the warmth and love I used to get from them grew cold
As my heart stopped beating when they made me quit.
Vengeance. To hurt them i'll hurt myself first,
Don't get it twisted I'm not suicidal,
Though it's become really hard living without him.
No words of comfort can mend the walls of my broken heart.
Some broken hearts, Don Williams said never mend.
621 · Apr 2014
No Bargain
Temitope Popoola Apr 2014
He said he's tired of the hate and bitterness
I said I've found peace my own way
And I'm not interested in whatever he has to offer
He was part of the people that made me lose myself and become this hard, cold, cynical woman incapable of expressing love
I don't like this new me, and I don't need him to psyche me and tell me I could have been a better person.
He should let it go. Someday someone beautiful within and outside would make the hate go and melt the pain
Temitope Popoola Feb 2017
Dear baby, your mother is a drunk.
I have tried in every way possible to show your mother what good lies in drinking water
But she prefers to take drinks that can make everyone responsible end up in a gutter
I have also tried to make her understand that both of you are like bread and butter
But safety is a word that makes her blood boil hotter.
Dear baby, your mother is a drunk
The nasty smell I have to put up with is worse than that of a skunk
But to get a chance to feel you move within her, I'd stay with her in a dunk
This is evident with the way I sleep on the top bunk
I have tried severally to tell her that drinking with you inside is wrong
But I honestly can't tell if the love she has for you is strong
As perturbed as I am, please note that I have enough love for you at the long run
Even though I pray for her to get rid of this thorn
Dear baby, I have a little favor to ask of you
Is it possible you pinch your mother a little whenever she takes that slow poison?
Just so she knows what danger she puts herself in
Do not forget to hold on tight if the alcohol ever tries to melt you,
I only hope you will not develop strong affinity for it that you would beg to have your first bottle filled with it.
But in all sincerity baby, your mother is a drunk.
607 · Aug 2013
Just Remember
Temitope Popoola Aug 2013
When life becomes cruel and utterly mean
When storms and waves tend to break you
And there's no escape into some warm inn
Just remember that His love is everly true

When sadness and pain weigh you down
And tears fall down your face unrestrained
And with shame, you want to hide in the ground
Just remember that His love, He's never feigned

With men being human with heartbreaks
And you never seem to get over the pain
And every true love is as good as fake
Just remember that His love would forever rain

God has a way of teaching and dealing with us
With every of His action in our best interests
And our future He'll never bring to rust
Just remember that His love gives us rest.
594 · Oct 2013
Writer's Block
Temitope Popoola Oct 2013
It took me like a month to overcome this hurdle
Helpless because I had things to write but putting it down was a struggle
This block was pulled down by a group of children who sang with passion
That I could feel the need to write with great tension
These days I've been doing more of mental thinking
That soon I'm afraid people might call me the clock that's always working
I didn't even have the time to say hello to my dear good Chuck
Or to tell my literary grandpa Nat Lipstadt, you rock.
I'm going to write this to everyone so you know that I care
And a few solid mental blocks wouldn't give my love towards you a tear
I've been here and there, trying to make ends meet
And in so doing I totally got caught up in the heat.
I wanna read more poems from dear CarissaKoons
The kind that gives me such strength I feel I could beat the goons
Such wonderful memories from being here, I could never erase!
I feel great knowing that I'm healed and ahead of the writers' block's phase.
Thanks to everyone who checked on me while I was away!
585 · Jul 2013
Just let me be
Temitope Popoola Jul 2013
I may not be the most beautiful girl,
I may not have the riches that eventually leads a man to hell.
My name may not in some's ears ring a bell,
But i am indeed an incredible damsel.

If you came into my life bcos we met on a bus,i wouldn't travel forever.
If you came into my life bcos we met in a singing competition,i would not sing forever,
If you came into my life bcos you once taught me,well then i wouldn't be your student forever.
And if  you came into my life as a result of teenage fantasy, my teen days are over!

What is it with you anyway?
Being caught up in your web hasn't given you the right to cut my days and trap my lively rays.
I wouldn't stop living because it didn't work out with you.
It only means there's one whose sky is full of hope and blue.
And tarnish not my image,for that may flip open my page of rage!
Don't even blame my actions on my age,otherwise my anger would burn.
584 · Feb 2014
This sucks
Temitope Popoola Feb 2014
What the hell is going on here?
Reading all my messages and making sure I'm faithful
Trust is something that has to be built, it's not so rare
But I honestly don't appreciate this, if I say what's on my mind you'll drool.
583 · Apr 2014
Alan
Temitope Popoola Apr 2014
Alan, the most wonderful and caring uncle God planted in my life
Your demise brought so much pain like I was stabbed with a knife
He stood for the perfect definition of love and bonds in family
That his departure almost made everyone dear to him tired of life
You taught me wonderful things with firmness, yet in love
Your happy and playful attitude, something you made us learn
You were simple and took life simply as it came
Everyday was a blessing you never failed to thank God for
I'd never felt so helpless my whole life that day you passed on,
I watched your once active body still in death and I couldn't wake you
I wanted to remove all those sheets around you and stroll with you
You were my father and you loved me like your own daughter
That image is something I could never block out  
I still don't know how to deal with you not being around,
I know this is something that would never pass easily
I don't wanna forget, because I don't want the image of you to fade
I want to place you in my heart always even though it aches
Tears come easily each time I remember the beautiful times we shared
My heart almost broke when your 3 year old daughter spoke with me,
That's a big responsibility I pray God help me to take,
You took care of us and left that little girl all by herself,
When she asked if I was coming on the phone I felt so bad,
I should have been there before she asked, she's my blood
And I promise I'm going to be there for her forever, as long as I live
I asked God to let me see you one more time, just one more time
And He did, 21 days after you died, I dreamt and saw you
I touched your hand and covered it with mine, it was warm
And you though dead, moved your other hand and covered mine too
You held my hand to your chest, it was the most wonderful feeling
I knew I ought to be scared, but no, I wasn't. I was grateful
And understand that you hold me dear to your heart.
I would always love you Alan, I would always love you Uncle.
For my favourite Uncle, Alan. Who passed on 9th March 2014. His death almost crippled my interest in everything.
556 · Dec 2013
New Year resolutions
Temitope Popoola Dec 2013
It's come to that time of the year when everyone wants to be a different person in anticipation for the new year.
I've got no new year's resolution and hold no fear
I just wanna be more happy and enjoy each day
And when dark moments come I just wanna have the strength to create my own shiny ray
It's the same boring routine each time
You make wishes and break them before the first month runs off
Every day is precious to me and each adds to my history
And as much as I want to be a better person, it's not by setting a time to do it.
Anytime the opportunity comes for me to make the change, I will.
Easy does it, and I'm going to take it real slow.
Happy new year.
551 · May 2015
Untitled
Temitope Popoola May 2015
For those days I was cold and annoying,
For those nights I turned my back on you,
For moments when you saw different shades of me
For times you begged me to drop poetic lines
What you really value is what you lose, not what you have
Who would have known we would be over this soon?
I hate that you nurse ill thoughts towards me
I pray we both find peace as we go on in life.
548 · Jul 2013
Moving On
Temitope Popoola Jul 2013
I keep wondering and wondering, what next?
He's gone and we would never see again
His words and charm caress my soul like rain
His figure never seem to depart from my head
How does one cope with an irreparable loss as this?
How do you pretend you're fine when it's him you miss?
Knowing fully well he had no power over this separation
Not forgetting he contributed to your success in this generation
After crying and mourning, what else will you do?
Pack his belongings and burn them up?
Or leave them at the exact spot he placed them adhering to his rules?
Dropping flowers, your way of controlling life?
It just doesn't make sense, does it?
The hard labour and toil now in vain,
The painful sowing and inability to eat a grain,
These thoughts seem to throw my all into the drain!
I lost someone real special today, I don't know if this came out well, it's just a fraction of what's in my head! Sad!
541 · Aug 2013
Fading pains
Temitope Popoola Aug 2013
If you're trying earnestly not to look back,
Because the past bears burden that makes your shoulders sag,
And depressing moments shrouded in clothes so dark,
Don't be afraid, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
Maybe you did so many things on impulse,
Maybe you were made to believe many things were true,
But now you know better and see things in their real hue!
The MOST IMPORTANT THING IS YOU FELL AND YOU'VE LEARNT.
There would be moments of doubts and clusters of pains,
And perhaps a solemn wish for the tears to wash away with the rain,
But if somethings never happened,
How boring would your life have been?
THIS AINT FALLACY OF SELF CONSOLATION.
The beauty of growing is not only in becoming an adult,
It's about being responsible for every action you take,
And making immense effort to be strong while living with the consequences.
BE THE BEST YOU COULD BE, EVERYONE'S GOT A PAST
458 · Jul 2013
what's this feeling?
Temitope Popoola Jul 2013
I've been broken so many times and I can't remember what love is. Emotional short term amnesia?
337 · Apr 2018
Depth
Temitope Popoola Apr 2018
Drowning in a sea of confusion, gulping the air of profanity.
No water of relief can flood this pain. Blink your tears of frustration away.

— The End —