Love is risk
Against all odds,
I will still want you
Love is time
Every time I look at you
I'd still choose you
Every distance that separates us both two
I'd still wait, patiently for you
Love,
I am scared of the uncertainty.
You don't ever know because
If it's meant to be it will be.


If one day my soul leaves my body,
would your heart be shattered and wounded
as you grieve for me?
We don't have the power to decide our fate
if you love me please
please do not grieve too long
for the soul may only heal with the remembrance of Him
I may not know till when I shall live
but as long as He wills
I will stay and love you still

When you first step into love, it’s like walking into your room with feet freshly washed, and you haven’t even dried it yet. But you climb onto your bed anyway, your feet--- left hanging on the rail across the bed, waiting to dry. You love the sheets, and you fear the water dripping from your feet would mess the beauty of the seams.

          The same thing happens with walking into a relationship, you’re scared of giving it your all, of opening up to a soul you have not synced with. And you just keep holding back from feeling comfortable, from being vulnerable. But when you finally want to delve into the mess of it all, you let it all out and you snuggle your soft feet in the blanket and the sheet.

This is for mom-
If love had a smell, it would be your scent.
If love had a face, it would be your visage.
If love could be seen, then it would be your grace.
If love could be felt like an embrace, a warm bunny hug, it would be your caress.
And love has nothing more to give but itself, hence that is you.

If you love this air,
I will breathe out everything that is in this cage, so it can be converted into fresher ones, until all of them leave this body. And I would not be at ease, until all the morsels, atoms, come into one with the particles of your being.

If you love the city,
I will build one from scratch, bare hands, stones thrown everywhere for a place of love. With these knuckles bleeding, my blood will then turn into a clear river that runs through the cracks of the town.

If you love the colour green,
I will cut through sticks and stones, to make up a whole grassland, splayed wide enough for a town to come alive, and half a space for a meadow. For the picnic we will have at every noon of every sunny day, just like the ones at the prairies.

If you love the rain,
I will learn to sit still on the pavement, to not quiver and run when it rains. I’ll play in it, regardless of the fear I deeply have for the thunders and lightnings. When it finally comes, I’ll stay closer with you, to feel like I am home— even when standing amidst the chaos that the sky brings.

And if you love me,
I will be me, even when being myself is something I despise at times, when hating myself seems most comfortable. I will start and bring good to myself, to love every piece of my actuality that is scattered like the remnants of a hurricane that stops by every 5 minutes. To be delicately in love with all I have to offer. Because you love me.

I am allowed to break.
do not tell me that I can't break in one second because of a person.
because if the person is someone you give your heart to and someone you're risking your heart to then
I am allowed to break. to shatter. to mourn.
but dear tell me
That breaking helps.
if breaking is the only way for me to be close to God then by all means I am fine with the pain in dunya hits me like this
it damages the bad side in you
breaking my heart into pieces
and to be formed into a new piece
into a new self
to be broken is a blessing in disguise.
you just have to find those blessings despite your damaged heart
sometimes when the dark side of life hits you
that's when you can see those stars light up the sky
and when you're drowning
that's when you can actually breathe inhaling the truth and exhaling the pain.
so hey. don't tell me not to break
teach me instead how to live with a damaged heart

Dont say sorry
as if it's going to make me feel better
dont say sorry
as if it'll make my shattered pieces come back together piece by piece
dont you say sorry
as if it's going to erase everything that we had
as if it's going to erase everything you've ever said to me
as if it'll make me stop crying late at night. sobbing. hurting. it hurts so bad and all you do is stand there and say sorry.
don't you dare say sorry
as if you regret
loving me.

my body feels peace
but my heart is shattered
I am half dead
and half alive