A world of people
Who thinks she's weird.

When she meets someone she likes
She opens one of the gates up.

They still have a while to go to
See who she really is.

She's hapless at romance,
Not getting a chance with anyone
Because she merely watches
Romance from the side lines,
Only able to analyze it,
Never truly experiencing it,
Not knowing the full reality of it,
Basing her decision to be closed off
From only observation.

Maybe someday a guy will
Sweep her off her feet,
But who will he be?

Because of miscommunication she cannot
Get her feelings across.

Apparently she keeps her
Feelings hidden far too long
Because she wants others to
Be happy.

She is shunned for her
Want to make everyone else
Happy before herself,
Making her the lone wolf,
Who merely observes,
Watching from the woods,
Howling at the moon,
Sad to be alone,
But not sure if it'd make a
Difference or not in happiness
If she were to be placed together with another wolf.

She likes her freedom, but
Is pulled like a rope between
Freedom and commitment, trying
To find a balance.

She's not sure, but not patient
With the matter, she likes to
Push it deeper into herself, to ignore
The loneliness, and look into the future,
Hoping it'll be better than the miserable
Balcony that she stands on, watching
Couples kiss and hold hands,
Frowning and then smiling,
Having conflicting emotions.

he made me bleed
it trickled down my legs
red warmth on white skin
he cut me mentally
tore through my head
like a rabid dog
i can not think
without him haunting me
without him hunting me
without him
he cut deeply
with cold words
with cold stares
liquor hinted murmurs
pressed against my neck
his heavy cigarette breath
lingers with heat against me
it still tastes sweet
his eyes pierce me like a slow burn
going through parchment paper
dissecting my movements
dissecting my thoughts
the ones that go unsaid
the ones that are never uttered
the ones i wish i wouldn't think
the ones that i will never admit
to having

my eyes hurl meteor metaphors
towards the gravity of your gaze

upon impact, passion ignites poems
in the starlight of your stare

connected in constellation,
we read

the funny thing about time
is the way it grinds your bones to dust
while they’re still sitting in your flesh

we can all feel it,
we pretend we don’t, but we do

you feel it when you wake up in the morning
having dreamt of your childhood
and the sound of your sister’s laughter is still ringing in your ears

you feel it when you look up from a book
and its not your brother sitting in the chair next to you
but a strange fellow with a deep voice
and a nose that looks remarkably familiar

and strongest of all, you feel it when at the dinner table
your mother asks you what you’ve been up to for the past 18 years

see, the funny thing about time
is the way it grinds your bones to dust
while they’re still sitting in your flesh

just the other night, I pressed my palms together
and I called on a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile,
to ask where he’d been

he told me he’d been spending time with my father
because the man really needed some company
without his oldest son to talk to

oh and while I have you, he said,
your mother called
she told me to tell you
that your bed is made, if you ever want to come home

I want to breathe smoke
I want to dance in the rain
I want to redefine what it means to be insane

I want to tear down the walls
I want to flip the script
I want to rewrite the laws in a way I see fit

I want you to love me
I want not to care
I want to sell you your madness
At a price that's unfair

I want to cure all that's ugly
And purify the soul
I want to build you a maze
Then tell you which way to go

I want to stay young
I want to grow old
I want to disprove all of the lies you've been told

I want to be brilliant
While still being bland
I want to make love to you
I wanna hold your hand
I want to decipher all of the things that you don't understand
I want to reveal to you God's "Grand Master Plan"

I want to say all the right things
I want to control what I think
I want to find your battleship
And make that mother sink

I want another cigarette
I need another drink
I'm having such a hard time
Just trying to fall asleep

I want to inspire
I want to get inside your head
If I'm so tired
Why can't I just go to bed

I don't want to retire
I don't want it to end
I'll keep stoking this fire
I'll sleep when I'm dead