A beautiful nightmare,
Soft and poetic, honest and sad.
A bittersweet memory relived again.
Recognizable, however, twisted in your
Dreamy trance.
Stir in your sleep,
Awaken in cold sweat
You rattle.
You remember.
Freezing is not cold enough.
Hell's fire could not warm you.
Just breathe.

For a moment
You are nothing
and You are Everything.
All at once
You are calm
Tranquil
Peaceful
Quiet
Until your nightmare
repeats.

Pale, you lie in the moonlight
The breeze offers a chill
You accept by allowing the hairs
On your neck and
On your arms
To rise

Breathing softly, you are peaceful
With the tranquility of
Perfect Meditation
You really are not present
Not near to me at all
Rather somewhere better
And more beautiful

You open your eyes to find
You have not left where you began
Disappointed, you sigh and
and look down

But I look at you
One glance that said,
"I love you."
A distant memory of mine,
A message you'd never receive.

Last night I dreamt of you.
I did not see you, but you were there.
You could call it a nightmare,
I suppose,
But only because I could not find you.
The sad fact being, you did not want
to be discovered.

“Seek and Ye shall find.”
But I have sought
and have not found.

I was looking for you.
You, who has hurt me worse
And more often than
Anyone before.
Broken my fragile heart
Into five billion pieces
Time and time again.
Yet, I always forgive.

Perhaps I was not looking for you,
But for an answer instead
To a question that has been
Burning
In my head and in my heart.
*Why?