I've been trying to pen down a few words
I don't know where to begin
There's a lot going on within me
Maybe its love. Again.

Love had its share of bittersweet tricks
Maybe now its my time to gleam
A thunder of questions in my head
And I don't care about any

It the magic of your smile
September love pecks on my cheek
Or is it that time of the year when
Silly Cupid goes mocking at me

Oh could it be true?
Once for real.
Could it last more than
Another September.

I have so much to say
But if I said it all I would be old and grey.

Ill keep it simple
Without any delays.
My happiness does not revolve around any vision that displaces a girl with a smooth white face.  
Or even a mansion with Pearly white gates.

My happiness resides within
that binds this restlessness and quite reckless mind
Together.

I am so much more to offer then these two.
But, until I feel the urge
to submerge from the depths of my pride
I guess Ill hide in the binds that hold me
together inside.

One day
One day I will
Find peace
I will find
Everything I’ve needed
I will
Love myself
I will
Find the strength to
Go on.
Believing this keeps
Me going.
One day I will
Find peace.


j.s.

With the light of a new day
peers just in reach,
The scars fade
and the tears dry
my lips tremble
with a seed of hope
planted in my heart
it grows, and grows
until the blossom
turns my head to to sun
and my lips point to the sky
I have blossomed
from seed, to life

We are kids,
we are thieves.
With broken hearts,
and tricks up our sleeves.

We are slaves to the night,
with a mind of our own,
and we’ll only give out
as much as what’s shown.

We are your future,
your present,
your past.

We come with a vengeance,
and hell, we move fast.

You can never forget us,
we steal your time.
Once yours is up,
it becomes mine.

We both know it's over,
Though we haven't spoken a word.

And I hear your sleeve rustle
As you run your fingers through your golden hair,
Nervously. Impatiently.
You don't want to be here.

Our eyes meet;
They match the coffee sitting on my bedside from this morning.
Cold.
Bitter.
Unfinished.

My hands rest in my lap, clasped together;
As if to pray to some obscure divinity
That can't hear me.
Gaze fixed on chipped, red nails,
Trying not to bite my tongue.

You knew it was wrong;
You knew it would come to this.
You knew all along.

Didn't you?

Jaw clenched,
You stare out a window,
Plotting your escape.

I try to remember the good times,
But they all seem so out of context now.
Your smile seems so crooked now,
Your eyes seem cold and distant now.

Your charm,
But free deceit disguised as cheap love,
A poor alibi for worse decisions.

You don't love,
You lust.

Because that's all you've ever known in this world,
That's all you ever learned from your sick father figures:
I want.
I need.
I have.

Human connection,
A waste of time.
Love and affection,
No worth to speak of.

So, tell me.
Was she worth it?

"I love her," You say quietly.

"I know," I reply.