i have not forgotten
how to put a pen to pad
but i have been absent

my hands are unsteady
my voice aching
the ink is eager to be released

i have not forgotten
and gladly neither has the pen
I'm ready,
I'm ready to start this relationship again...

It's funny
How easy a task it is
To take apart a razor
For a single blade.

It's funny
How quickly, painlessly
The blood seeps out
Of a single cut.

It isn't funny
How I still feel
Numb.

You told me you loved me
Without uttering a word
The look in your eyes
Would make some hearts flutter
But it makes mine burn
I cannot hold this candle
Your flame is too bright
My wick is broken
My matches used
I sit here freezing
As your arms try to warm me
My body warns me
Colder I become
Alone I will stay
I've been here before
No more, no more....

In this moment there is just us and the music. Slowly goosebumps find their way all over my skin, but I don't dare move; don't want to disturb the perceived peace.... It's anything but- her mind races I'm sure, as she itches her skin obsessively. She types away on her phone... Telling all to someone? I don't know; I don't ask. I just want to be here... Pretend there isn't violent winds pushing her closer and closer to the edge. The storm is not new, it has lingered behind her eyes for the longest time... It's the severity that makes her limbs tremble, her eyes water, and her mind scream. Swallowing another pill to conceal the impending doom, just to skip along in slight denial for a while longer. The blade causes solace for when the faulty fiction fades... Until she swallows more. More. More. More.

Losing control
Willpower
Urgency
Pleading me
Bleed.
What a tempting offer

I watch
As the words I've written stand still,
Bold.
The fire creeps ever closer, enclosing.
I'm mesmerized.
I've written your name
a thousand times,
And always it burns the same...
Quickly, unforgiving, gone.
Only ash, dust,
and my unsatisfied sigh remain.
You do not catch fire
As your name does
But you have left your mark
along my skin
Scorched.
Yet still I linger
Playing with the match box....

Do you know the definition
Of insanity?

Just be still
with me
Close our eyes
as we lay
next to one another
breathe softly
as our fingers intertwine
we don't need words
not even stolen glances
not now
just quiet bliss
warmth in my heart
on my skin
where yours touches mine
forget the deadlines
leave responsibilities behind
just you and me now
breathing together
simple
sweet
these are the moments
I dream about
as long as I can have them
with you.