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Tatiana Jan 2013
Every step is painful.
in this unbearable situation.
I am walking on thorns,
countless large, sharp thorns,
that twist down into a long, dark path,
that has no end,
and it just keeps twisting away,
into an aching misery.

I'm choking back my tears,
no more crying
Not in front of so many lives,
many small, young lives.
Their fearful eyes are following me,
as I walk on thorns,
my blood flowing freely from my feet,
like the life that flows out of their eyes.

I want the thorns to disappear,
off this long twisting path.
I want this path to have a beautiful end,
not the dark one I am seeing.
I want those eyes to stop being scared,
The children should be allowed to be children,
not empty, fearful shells of their former selves.
I want this all to end,
is that too much to ask for?
Tatiana Jan 2013
I made my decision,
after much, much planning,
and the opportunity came,
to stand up,
for what I know is true.
What is true is,
were not friends,
she did too much to hurt me,
and I had enough of it
a long time ago.
But,
I didn't make a move.
however I showed her,
that I didn't want to be friends,
and today,
today I hope I put an end to it.
She was sticking her nose,
in where it didn't belong,
and I told her so,
she had the audacity to say,
that she cares about her friends,
and she starts walking down the hallway,
and I get up and yell,
"If we were friends,
you would have never treated me like you did!"
and I stormed away.
I came back later,
to see my friends all ready to support me,
and trying to comfort me,
none of them went with her,
to go comfort her.
I guess I was worried,
because I didn't know,
what my friends would do,
and now I know I have true friends,
who would always stand up for me,
because with them,
there are no secrets.
And with her,
she doesn't share anything with us,
and her secrets,
her untrustworthiness,
make her uncredible,
and also,
i've known all my friends,
for years,
and she's only known us,
for one year.
But today,
I did it,
I finally decided to take the risk,
and fight back,
and now my stress just evaporated,
off my shoulders.
I'm not going to force
her away from her friends,
within our group,
because that would be mean,
and it's not my right to do that.
I don't wish her any harm,
all I wish is that she doesn't talk to me,
and just stays out of my business,
If I wanted her to be involved,
I would have told her.
But the thing is I don't,
I don't want to be friends,
because i've already tried that,
and she just pushed me away.
She pushed me away,
and now i'm doing that to her.
But I did it,
I finally did,
what I said I would,
and that made me,
happy.
Right now I just feel so empowered because I fought back, I wasn't about to get walked on without doing anything about it.
Tatiana Jan 2013
Cry your eyes out,
till they're red and dry,
and no tears will escape,
those soulful eyes.

Lay your head down,
and wait for night to come,
where the peaceful dark,
will become your home.

Wake up to the morning,
and slowly rise,
your eyes feel dead,
yet your body is somehow alive.

Look into the mirror,
try to recognize your face,
let the feeling come back,
when you knew your place.

Cast aside those thoughts,
don't let them bother you,
get set for today,
because today is new.

It's time to fight back,
not silently but out loud,
your glares can combine,
with the strength of your words.

They will not get away,
with their games this time,
because your eyes will catch,
their every crime.
Tatiana Jan 2013
Dunes on my left,
and the ocean on my right,
I walked in the middle,
on the hot sand.
My feet were burning,
but I didn't really notice,
I was on a mission,
to keep walking along this shoreline,
till I came up with a plan,
to resolve this problem.
Only hours before,
I was sitting on a chair,
staring at a wall,
sorting out my life,
and where I stand,
and if I could fix all the problems around me.
The more thinking I did,
the angrier I got,
I was frustrated,
I couldn't weigh all the options,
by just sitting here.
I left the chair,
and the blank wall,
and walked along the shoreline.
I said before,
that I was on a mission,
to keep walking,
until I came up with a plan,
to resolve a problem.
The one big problem,
everything else,
is silly in comparison.
But there seems to be no solutions,
and I think i'll be walking,
forever.
Tatiana Jan 2013
Coming home,
to see blank eyes,
on a young face,
is an even greater pain,
than seeing lifeless ones,
because,
blank eyes means
that he's just not living,
there is no joy,
and no hope,
that should be filling his young
soul,
there is only fear,
blind, panicky, fear.
A type of fear no child should ever
feel.

He fear's
where he came from,
every time we get him,
he's covered in scars,
and bruises,
and we can hardly do anything about it.
His eyes are so wide,
and afraid,
if I go to touch his unhealthy face,
i'm not going to hit him,
but he flinches,
like I will,
and it's horrible to watch,
it's heart breaking,
I can't stand to see this child,
hurt.

I've had nightmares of what happens,
to him,
and what's hard to stomach,
is that those nightmares,
are true.
This child,
not even a child,
this baby,
is beaten to the point,
where he is afraid,
of everyone,
and his eyes,
I can't look at them,
the fear kept there,
stabs at,
me.

The knife rips through my body,
over and over again,
and all I think,
is what that child goes through,
that he's tortured,
every day,
for just being there.
But he's not the only child in this scenario,
there's a little girl,
who just turned four.
She's never been to school,
and you ask her a question,
she just stares at you,
not understanding what you said.
She doesn't know,
how to do,
anything.

My family and I,
had to teach her,
how to put a shirt on,
when she was three.
She was three,
and couldn't dress herself.
What ever these kids go through,
every single day,
all I can deduce is,
one is tortured,
mercilessly hit in the face
till his mouth bleeds.
And the other,
can do what ever she wants,
but isn't taught anything,
and she'll be set back,
so far.

She'll never rise to the full potential,
of what she could be.
God knows were trying,
to do everything we can,
to help these kids.
There used to be three
in this situation,
and we were able to save,
one.
It's possible,
but it's so hard,
and I don't know,
if we can ever save
these other kids,
before it is,
too late.
My family has already called child protective services, and we told them about what happens to these children, and we even have photo evidence of it, and all they asked was if they had a roof over their head, and we said yes, and then they said that this wasn't severe enough of a case for them to step into. What are we supposed to do! Wait for one of the kids to die before you will even notice! What makes it not severe enough! Kids not being fed, getting beaten till they're bleeding, not getting bathed, and living in a disgusting trailer, and not going to school and actively learning like a little kid should! I guess that isn't severe enough! How about every time we get these kids they're sick, not having a cold sick, I mean a high fever and coughing everywhere kind of sick! Is a non-healthy environment not worth stepping in to take a look at! And how about the idea that we already have custody of one of the kids in this scenario! That doesn't ring a bell, that we had already taken one kid out of that situation to give him a better life, and now were not allowed to help these other kids! It's ridiculous, and makes me angry beyond belief, that we can only do so much before we have to give the kids back to their parents! If you saw their faces when they went back, your heart would break in two. The kids know what they're going back to, and they don't want to go back. I'm sorry, I had to vent, this was just too much to hold in.
Tatiana Jan 2013
I stand here,
on the eve of a battle,
on a large mountain,
overlooking the valley.
Tomorrow,
I will be leading the charge,
taking people into battle,
my friends into battle,
do I have the right,
to drag souls,
into a lost cause.
Is this battle lost,
before it even starts,
and who already lost?

I don't know if we can win,
we may all die tomorrow,
but if we can make a dent,
a little change,
then could that be
a stepping stone to
something greater,
and will we ever see it?
Will we ever see,
all our hard work pay off?
Or will we never know,
because we died,
in this historical battle.

The sun is now setting,
bathing the valley in red,
and I know
it will be a bloodbath,
and it will take courage
and persistence,
to even attempt to fight,
but until then,
I must watch
the sun set,
with its ****** aura,
and ominous presence,
with a heavy feeling,
deep in the depths of my
stomach,
I stand here,
alone,
ready to fight,
to our obvious end.
I really feel right now, like i'm making my final decisions on the eve of a battle were the future is unclear.
Tatiana Jan 2013
Empty room,
dead girl,
white sheets,
with scarlet stains.
Slit throat,
****** mess,
but yet there is,
no evidence,
of the killer.
No foot prints,
no finger prints,
no DNA,
no nothing.
He has escaped,
without a trace,
and all that's left,
is a dead girl,
and a unique crime scene,
that has no leads,
and is a mystery.
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