There're a series of silhouettes standing still in my backyard.
They are the ghost versions of my former selves.
I stare into their dark.
A number of moments go by,
then all at once -
they come alive.

This one jumps his leg.
That one is falling down.
Gyrating in a pattern that isn't quite clear.
That one lights a cigarette.
This one sips a beer.
Circling as if playing a game of phantom music chairs.
I see one buckling over.
Another lunges out.
A patchwork design of folly and crime -
I can't decide what it's about.

If only I could get a top-down view,
then maybe I could see
the purpose of this pointless motion;
this parade of all that's me.

No one has told me
I should feel anything but
worthless

I used to think I
Simply had to try harder
Now it's too hard
To try at all

One day I was happy
The next I was sad
The day after I was gone

There is a certain heaviness to the air tonight. It fills my lungs with some indescribable feeling that I once had a name for. I know nothing save for the fact that I am completely alone in this concrete graveyard. Shadows of trees take on human form, their limbs bent at unnatural angles. Lights blur and my eyes lose focus.  Airplanes turn to stars, turn to dust, frozen in space, sending signals that cannot be read. Our frequencies travel at different speeds and in opposite directions. Intersection is unlikely, but I believe we will meet again, someday. There isn't a cloud in the sky that doesn't spell out your name. You have dove deep into the depths of my being. My thoughts are tainted, contaminated, and I can no longer separate them from yours. There is no peace of mind. You are the song stuck in my head, the stain on my shirt, the dirt under my fingernails. I head out onto the highway, into the oncoming stream of headlights. Nothing makes me feel more alive than being this close to death. This is me letting go, this is my release. I am here in this moment; you are lost in time.

Come one!
Come all!
Come have the time of your life!
The Modern Human Zoo presents:
A Creature of the Night!

Watch him angrily pace his cage by day.
Frustrated and oppressed as he's forced to earn a wage.
But at night, my friends, that's when he really comes alive;
(Midnight showing tickets cost at least twice the price.)
Feast your eyes on this beast's desires.
His rapidly unwinding mind.
His constant need for things unfathomable.
Constantly seeking the undefined - inevitably denied every time!
Stopping at nothing to find but one thing that satisfies.
Nothing ever satisfies!

Come see our finest display to date.
The pride and joy of our collection.
Our latest and greatest prize!

I keep wondering if what I did was okay.
If it's okay for me to take so much of you
into my left hand, then my right hand and
squeeze, and feel two motherly dots in your centres.
I wonder if it's okay for me to grasp
at your smoothness so much, from head to toe,
**** to *******, heart to lips; and breathe
all over you: I'm scared
of it. I'm scared
                            of you,
of me,
            of us,
                       your moans,
          the dark,
my moans,
          the light,
          the day,
          the night.
It all frightens me, and I wonder if it's okay
to have suddenly grown up in the ludicrous
space of time it took to leave two obvious bruises
on your neck. I'm scared that your parents
will actually send you (back) to India but laugh
because I'm sure they won't- you applied foundation
to blot out my purple lust scars.
Love bites they call them.
                                               Love...
I'm wondering if what you did was okay.
If it's okay for you to take so much of me;
every non-penetrative, ridiculous, amateur
******, and every saliva strand. Every whisper
of afro-hair that falls out of your hand-combs,
and your tongue, which -my God- is now mine.
I said I picked you, I pick you, but here,
bodies somehow body,
you are me.
                       Innocence lost
is when a short skirt
represents a different type of freedom.
And my hands under there,
is my best worst decision yet.