For all that ensues, I will heed

Drinking on individual circumstance
Apprehension swims
Manipulating his fluids

Liquid intentionality
Soaked in contamination
Justified with wounds

The wetness of iniquity
He is glossed in it

Questionably bitter.

     *

After ALL this,
I'm still drowning in his adoration

I'm treading his thawed spine,
until his fleshy affections have (also) started dripping

My body, slippery with him
Readily tasting the drips

Somehow, his dampness is so candied
I'm honeyed with each lick

He is very, very vivid to all that is me
He managed to preserve his fragrancy

Unquestionably sweet.

i have gifted my anatomy with wholesome, organic nourishment
i'm left unaligned
i have gifted my form with stimulating and beneficial exertion
yet, i'm still left cognitively discontent

my ears (and my mind)
have a constant flow of incongruent content from that above
and that, simply, is my revelation

i am blessing my organs
while doing no favors to my mind (and my soul)

this became prevalent following a fresh, introduced energy
the things you read, write, listen to, and say are potent creators
no matter how health-giving you are to your physical form
the content flow is the omnipotent

My own thoughts presented at the flesh steps
Shockingly frightening
Introduce to me, but not necessarily by me
But by my own familiarization
These steps are not all my own
Just momentarily
It started as a small seemingly unimportant puddle
Under my tongue
Slowly poured out on the steps
Now dampening the home
Should soon be entirely wet
Washing out all construction
The thick sensation of security
Now only a veil

My uncertainties I speak aloud
Mysteriously mute
I have even composed it, here! for you!
But it still seems to be inaudible to you
My dreams manifesting into violence
I know I’ve become accustomed to the unnecessary
I have reigned over my thoughts, for years, until you

You have very well tailored flesh
Cultivating your features
These flesh mirrors,
reflecting the enlightening distortion
The illusions of the red
An ostentatious color
Your staggering amount of obligation
Strenuous on your fitted eyes
Perceiving so efficiently,
that your multi-spined flesh suit is wet

a musical facade, an internally strident tone
playing artfully, an out put of a hushed orchestra
composed individualized intentions
every tune, singularly silent, like that of a revelation
hiding the sharpness of the precise melody
individually unusable
tunefully mute
i imagined licking it
i cannot hear its notes, but I desire to
maybe I can taste it?

A construed connection
The dampness of my soul
Glistening on his declared, steady skin
Repelling my dripping grasp
My slippery infection
Now, somehow
slithering to a ripe apifany
An intricate abnormality
That is me
A remodeled intellect, grasping for fresh ventilation
Panting in all the raw air
My  quivering inhales, so pathetic

they claw at the inner sides of her artificial smile
her teeth are the first to decay, put on display
that pinkish mouth
full of an orcastra of 28 filthy tooth bones
her intricate assortment of teeth have concocted an unreal tooth throne
leaving a cesspool of blood under her raw tongue
an immemorable happiness vale
these teeth composing a uneasy melody
reflecting that of a replica smile
but never grinding the ripe silence of her soul
her teeth have rotted and they are sleepwalking down her throat

doubtlessly swallow the certainty that
i was nothing but necessary foundation
nothing but your essential stabilization
for your cruelly selfish character to devour
i will continue to conduct my silent sorrow
you couldn't even start to comprehend
so obviously unbeknownst to you,
that this, is the heart, that you grew  
and if you ever bother to read this,
it will still be inaudible to you
i condemn my miserable heart
for individualizing this devious,
oh so lonely creature

you wont bother to read these until i'm ******* dead will you?

grasping pure, vile, blood from me
she is all i can compose
she is my mutilated melody
that i've been waiting for
an isolated life i've lived
under this disfigured cloak i call the sea
i truly fear, that she sees nothing in me
perhaps a view of a decomposer of me
nothing but a glimpse, nothing to see

how far have you ventured into your sexuality
those especially sickening cracks in your filthy bones
a bouquet of dead blood, curiously, impurely artful
relish in the red
as the watered down blood settles into its collar bones
an indecent puppet, on a missing string
feel the alluring wrath of luscious disgust
curious sickness is plentiful here
this now red liquid is slithering down its throat
ahhhhh this dead, red, sea

shutting this lustful devil up into a statue
this is what i must do, to disguise my mutilated view
the ends of its unexperienced mouth tremble and twitch
as i force myself deeper and deeper into its abyss
and those live cheeks, curiously immature
turn to an indecent pink, in my repulsive, quivering hands
this statue i have concocted in my intellect
with these incomplete slots in my brain
there are no boundless alternatives to my, unsettling masterpiece
simply produced and seduced by me

My mind is abusing today
Anything that anyone has said to me
Is rattling in my thoughts, it is torture
I will not leave myself alone
The words are ******* endless
So unbelievably reoccurring
I cannot cease my wounding thought process
I feel perfectly helpless, angry
I want to be ruined
I know it will make me seem better

Dead blood pours out of me
Out of this contaminated being
That is now me
Infecting my precious sea
My stale blood ruining it
Like it ruined me
I believe it's my heart
That makes this lonesome carcass
So utterly repulsive
Or maybe I've been in this sea too long
It has eaten away at me, now I'm rotting
And there is nothing left of me to see

With my limp over watered body in your arms, You escort me to land
You sweetly place my body on the sea shore, I try to stand and stay with you, but I'm stuck in this sea kissed sand
The tide is coming for me
My long sea legs aren't meant for land, you leave me on this shore, I knew this sea would be the last of me
The tide is coming for me
You lead me to land, I've strayed from you my sea, please forgive me!
He gulled me, he fooled me, I had hope in we
Please don't let it take me! I'm afraid, I don't want to be with the sea
You made me desert my sea, you gave me hope in not just you, but me!
Now, I'm left alone on this shore, stuck here in this horrible gore
As I knew, and will always know, here is the sea, always waiting for me
Oh my, here comes my tide, just before I die

As this thought was infecting my heart
'I wont want to go, but it will be time to leave
He will be in my heart, forever with me'
I crawled to the only man I will ever love again
Him in a drunken slumber oblivious to the world

This whisper is the lightest, calmest, thing I've ever spoken
Over and over, on and on, "I love you so much"
The quietest thing you have never heard
So lightly spoken that not even God could hear
But this inaudible love was heard by two persons
And two persons only, and he whispered back
"I love you" and I knew no one else could ever hear

He is a man, and I am a girl, I know my thoughts are
Undergoing my mutilation, and I imagine
In my twisted, disgusting intellect, what he thinks of me
With his seemingly invisible gestures of his speech
In the merciful cloak of darkness, would he
Take advantage of my tight, pale body (i think he would)
I want to live this nightmare I have concocted
Over and over again, I constantly tease the pleasures
Of my creepy mind, my too pale, flawless, 18 year old legs
Impudent and childish sprawled across his lap

I resign myself to death, simply because,
The sight of her hung over me like a revelation
The glimpse of her red, wet lips that I have obtained
Will remain in my eyes for weeks, she has possessed me
I crave her so much, that I don't exist
And with my pre-death dreams of today
I know I will only gaze upon her again,
I stare as if she is the only thing I have ever seen
Her cheeks so full of lust, they smelt of,
Crushed grass and spit, I imagined licking them
She is sooo sun kissed, sooo light and red 
The merciful sun, shined on her chest, through her dress
Through her blue eyes, making them glisten like after a good cry
This view of mine, makes my heart sore
Totally revealed, she is more than perfect, I smile,
With rotting demons behind my teeth, she will never be mine
Her tiny, pinkish mouth, her vocals that produces that lustful noise
Her giggle, any noise rattling out of her delicate throat  
That is the melody I have been mutilating
She is the only thing I hear

She finally peaks her head out from her watery love
And I watch her breathe in this human air, alllll this fresh air
And this I swear, is more then I can bare
Seeing her face, eyes, damp and dark from the sea
And I wonder what the sun feels like to her against her
Pale, flawless skin, this thought made my heart sore for weeks  
The color of her blue eyes in the sun, as pretty as the sea
Her eyes hold the sea, she is the Goddess of me  
The sea has spared me from this, beautiful, scare
The sea gave her thoughts of we, she sees me  
She is extremely perfect, with faded skin, perfect eyes  
With the most lightest blonde hair strands,
you have and will ever see
I cannot say whether any disease of love of the heart
Caused her cheeks, her lips to need the sea
But she is the only thing I can see
Her eyes once soooo full of the sea, she is lonely
She actually misses me, the sea listened to my plea
In her heart lives the slightest thought of we
I'm sure she lives a lonely life under the sea
As I watched her visit me secretly  
As I watched her perfectly hidden, I watched her heart changed
I saw in her eyes, not only me but the sea can tell
That for the first time, her mind thought that the sea
Wasn't all she sees, the sea is slowly draining from her eyes I think
Her eyes see something in me

I hate how the darkness of the sea
Brings out the blue in your terrifying eyes
But the sea isn't made for, any other human
(but you)
You could be with me above sea
If you would only try
But your stuck in the sea, no
With the sea forevermore
So I will continue to come visit you until I die
The only thing you will ever touch isn't me
It will be, the sharpness of the sea
Your hair floats perfectly
(of course with the movement of the sea)
Sadly the sea makes you, you
You are all I ever wanted to see
(but I cannot breathe in this sea air)
So I swim away and try to remember
Your too soft, golden hair
The only time I could truly recall happiness
In your crackly, small voice is when you cried
"I'm so perfectly under, with the heavy secrets of the sea."
Now I can't even remember what you sound like
And barely what you look like
My eyes aren't made for the sea, I cannot see
******* sea! You've taken her from me!
You should have let her be! With me!
I plea, give her back at least
the slightest thought of we
Her eyes see nothing in me

Extremely perfect, with large, faded, gray eyes
With the most lightest blonde hair strands,
you have and will ever see
I cannot say whether any disease of amore
of the heart caused her cheeks to be so red
But this is the only thing I can see

I feel the sea, is the last gift I'll ever receive
I will be given nothing before it
And definitely nothing after it  
As soon as it glosses my skin I will leave
Sink into the known hate of my blood
And fall in love, and only believe in sea
And never feel the need,
For anyone, or anything else but sea
I can imagine it now as I close my eyes
I can see the darkness not of the skies
But of the sea, and I feel like breathing and...
I breathe in sea air, now,
I know, there is nothing else
I will ever care for again

away away, to the salty sea
away away, from all that is we
away away, from men and he
away away, from love indeed

away away, at last from land
away away, even from the sand
away away, from where i can stand
away away, to the sea i am banned

away away, and now i drown
away away, i am finally crowned
away away, at last i am alone
away away, in the pits of the sea on my throne

As I came seldom shore
Fairly for me, away the salty mist
Away, away, lays the blue vale
Further from salty touch, the more the pale

The sea does call me, I search and lick my lips
The salty taste draws me to the abyss
Land you have eventfully failed
This icy wind, I will again never inhale

And I come now to sea
Land is pretty, but not as pretty as the sea
Gratefully wonder back to its whispering
melody, sea you are the only remedy

Maybe my heart will stop and play its final tune
It is tangled in golden fleece, trapped forevermore
It is owned by a king, and guarded by the trees
This golden fleece will never release me
And outside of this grove there is a dragon
Horrible and beautiful in its way
It's the second force guarding my heart by the bay
Of course still by the sea, but too far stuck behind these wooden bars
Stuck behind this violent thing, the king
The king brings me this pain, and I strain
And Strain until there is nothing more
Nothing more the this golden fleece
And death more then you could believe

I am the Goddess of the sea, bound in this gruesome carcass
By the one who loved me
It has and will always be, torture in these bones
Surrounded by blood, and not the blue flood
Cut off from the beautiful sea
Cut off from all that has ever truly loved me
Mastery of the sea, cannot be achieved!
Even without me, the sea, will be free
You will never tame the sea, these bones are not me
The one who loved me, the one who took me from the sea
The last thing they will ever know, is how cruel the sea can be

i have lingered too long at the pearly gates of the Sea.
these Sea-carcasses have finally untold the tale of me.
as i swim up, and by the lustful Sea’s view, a gulled you,
i see, allll the wonders of the Sea, (surrounding me)
and as i believe i’m swimming up with the intent to find air,
i’m caught in awe, and start to know, (the Sea is all i can bear)
and as i think i’m swimming up, i could possibly be swimming down.
this Sea keeps me undrown.
i will forever (in this Sea) see this glorious, pearly town.
a endless affair, which i can easily bear.
i swear, the Sea constantly flooding me, (tastes like the stars)
i need to swim back down, and find those pearly bars.

As I see, I see this view
My heart has become the blue
My heart is now this, dreaded, sea
That I use to find comfort in, you see
Now my beautiful, lovely, poetic sea  
Is now the sea, I never wanted to see
You turned my heart into the sea
My once beautiful sea
Is now nothing but an endless,
Infection of me  
My heart is flooding into me
Overflowing into certain parts of my body,
Where it shouldn't be
My heart is nothing but this sea
That I never thought it could be

Please, I plead. Eat this flesh,
for I pump dead blood.
Right down to the bone, leave nothing behind!
Oh god. Please, take this lonesome heart!
Eat my flesh! All of it!
Why do you leave this heart behind?!
This thing wasn't always mine!
Please, feast, dine!
Eat all my flesh!
Consume this heart it shouldn't be mine...
Even these scavengers, these pits of the sea
Want nothing to do, with this part of me

So long to meet this unique twist
I wish I could have known him sooner,
Being alone with him is nothing but a rumor
I want to continue with this excursion,
With him, I'm only a fresh ******
As I secretly listen to his voice,
I hear a crack of his beautiful noise  
Him and I are walking onto a masterpiece,
And he says, 'this is strictly fantasy'
This fantasy, is overflowing me, flooding my days
Angel, my twist, please never end this bliss
Keep this twisted Angel on my side
This secret love potion he slipped me is making me blind
I don't want to be healed, please, gull my heart some more
I want to play with him in this storm even more
And a gentle kiss, from this twist
I'm here at last
What a lovely, and lonely way to view
'Am I alone with you?'

You are a sweet fair thing
And I envy my heart,
When it howls out your name

You know its true, for you I shine
I am only yours, and you are only mine
I want to be able to find you, wherever you are
Even if you are dead, and as far as the stars
I am only yours, and you are only mine
I wrote this entire poem, for this one line
And now from my mind these words flee
Who could love you more than me

Love has successfully hunted me down
This gruesome carcass, has found me
And It has planted this idea
I've found the monster,
behind this, repulsive idea
I have avoided it,
and surpassed it
I've cheated my way out of love
Love knows this,
now, I'm its final destination
It has shown me a path, that it knows,
I cannot resist
It gives me my most wanted, impossibility
Love, seems a beauty,
but secretly dreams of being a beast
Secretly, secretly
Love, loves in heaven, but secretly,
yearns to burn in hell
Secretly, secretly
Secretly, love rips my heart out,
and secretly, feeds it to me, secretly, secretly
Oh love seemingly seems a beauty,
but secretly, in love I am

You have this scent
The luster of you
It floods my dreams
Overflows me, and I wake up
And I truly ache for you
So I don't sleep, trying to avoid,
this ache, this horribly perfect scent
Successfully avoiding my dreams
But this scent,
is slowly flooding into my days
This scent of your chest
Is overflowing out of my mind
Into my days
Maybe if I sleep, and give it a chance to breathe
Maybe this scent of you won't flood me

I feel like, I always fall into a love, a fearful love.
In doubt I have been, and am.
And fear has flooded my love,
in fear I have been, and am.
My heart feels this seemingly endless, toll.
When I'm in my fearful love.
Endless I have been, and am.
My heart aches with bountiful, fearful, love.
No, no, my ribs have not failed me.
Secure I have been, and am.
No, my soul, my weak, disgusting soul.
Feeds this horrible woe,
this bottomless pit of fear.
And to think, this all started with,
this idea of love, love.
In love, I have been, and am.

We need to talk...
To say I miss you is a lie
To say I want you is a lie
To say I like you is a lie

Truth be told...

I don't just miss you...
I ache for you like nothing else in my life I want to be with you so bad I feel sick when I think about us being apart and it hurts when I can't be with you

I don't just want you...
I need you you're my everything I can't live without you you're my heart and soul you're my whole world you're everything I need and more I would be completely lost and incomplete without you

I don't just like you...
I love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone you're mine forever and ever and nothing will ever change that you will always be mine and I will be yours and only yours

Intellect sores, bountifully, higher then God
Nefariously bottomless, I fall then Hell
Eventfully, ill angels impel my ascend to Heaven
Fiendish demons walk me back
As I depress, I depress beyond saving
As I advance, I advance beyond saving  
The Devil, nor God can believe what I've become
I can't escape this
I am fastened in this blending line
And in between the insidious two, I am willingly blind
Hell and Heaven are consolidating
If the ill angels in Heaven
Are like the demons too
Heaven is the worst of the two

Bottomless values and forever floods
Into a sea that lacks shores
With skies of lone blue,
without grounds, of heaven too, but only in the Devil's view
And down below in the blue lone
Of the most stormy heart was condoned
In this land that has become sea
In this endless infection of me
And only when it was in the Devil's view
Was my demon in the blue
And in my tale of the sea,
that was never untold by me
Because heaven forgot, it impelled me
To foretell the tale of me
Until my demon,
was perfectly drowned in the blue
Only then would the Devil unfold and stay in my view

I even have to remember to breathe!
In my house by the sea.
I only drink the saltwater from the sea.
Somehow I continue to breathe.
This water has infected me.
This lonely water from the sea.
I've let my heart sink so far into the sea.
That not even the ghost of me.
Could recover my heart and flee.

I even have to remember to breathe!
In my house by the sea.
I only drink the saltwater from the sea.
Somehow I continue to breathe.
In my house of elegant gores,
in my house by the shore,
in my house that has a creed,
with the deeds of the sea,
which are signed by me.
This water has infected me.
This lonely water from the sea.
I've let my heart sink so far into the sea.
That not even the ghost of me.
Could recover my heart and flee.  
I've spent my entire brief life by the sea.
And the deeds of the sea, are my deeds indeed.

The art of grasping madness is all I've ever known
I'm missing pieces of my bones
I must be careful what my intellect replaces them with
But I'm happy dragging my books of myths
Why do I have to replace?
Well, my ribs, there wasn't a trace
I replace them with my blood
What happens when it comes, the flood?
The blood will wash away with the water
My heart left for the slaughter
I could hear my blood, I knew I would never be free
All that was left was me
As my blood left, I could hear someone with it, bones in the left hand, and a string in right
At the end of the string was my heart, it was held tight,
all I've ever felt was fright  
This is an excursion I will never leave
Simple security I will never achieve  
As the end bears near I will show all my fear
My fear will be just as sincere as her cheer  
This was a seldom start
Nothing, could guard my heart

Peace runs through miles of uncharted hell
My feet swell, on burning stone  
The heat is seeping through my muscles to my bones
My heart, well it's fighting to beat
Oh how I would love to give up, I envy the weak,
how I would love to be the Devils sweet meat
But I keep on
When I find peace this will all be gone

* * *

Peace runs through a single mile of uncharted hell
My feet, they soak in the heat
My heart, well, ha, people say they can still hear it beat
Oh and how easy it was to find peace, just let the heat increase
Let it overflow your bones, eat the burning stones
They envy me, the weak
The Devil is MY sweet meat!
MY treat!
Yes, keep on, but not for too long
Like I said, when you find peace, all these elegant gores, will all be yours

today i met a man who wasn't there, and this i swear
his skin was misplaced, i pondered, he said she was graced
he said, "under my skin is a nightmare, nightmares are all i see,
                                                            ­ ­      all i am, all i will ever be."
today a man that wasn't there, told me. about his dead sea
told me it was full of skin, with a seldom dreary grin
he said weary, "under my skin is wickedness, wickedness is all i see,
                                                            ­ ­       all i am, all i will ever be."
today i met myself who wasn't there, and this i swear
i peeled my skin off and under it was also a nightmare
me that wasn't there, and this i swear, can't stand the skin i wear
i come back to my own reality, and me is all i see
and i go back to my skin spree

i say sadly, "under my skin is me, me is all i see,
                                                            ­ ­ all i am, and all i will ever be."

Sleep is my greatest misfortune,
sleep...? Is my aberrant torture
Never been consumed by something like this before
My body is at war, overwhelming gore
My eyelids are folding over my body
As I roll into my flesh bed
I'm forced into a slumber,
my eyes are obliged to unnaturally stay vexed  
I dream... or am I graveled?
My intellect is gulled, it affronts,
it soars into my heart
This is infernal, am I dreaming, or am I awake?
A vulture took my brain and put it on a stake
I took the "dream" and buried it all around
As I come back from my excursion
I am hampered, not manumitted  
I'm underground

I wish I could be the Sun
I warrant the Sun would agree, have it be done

Oh, what a pleasure it would be, to be heartless
For there to be no such thing as darkness

Oh, and how the Sun is filled with joy
It gets to play with this little human, like a toy

It hurls back in pain, what is this thing called pain?
It realizes, this human, is no little game

Memories rush into its pure mind
That has known nothing but sublime

It screams "LET ME OUT OF THIS TRAP!"
While my memories still unwrap

I show mercy
Like I do to everyone, most of them unworthy

And I'm back, I say farewell
Now, back to my memories that I call hell

I'm a puppet on a missing string
My love is to which I cling
A love that loves Unlawfully

I'm under the rain that wont stop bleeding
I take refuge under a blue tree
I didn't realize there is one place from where it feeds
And that is my blood sea
I climb and climb
Until I'm safe
I grab an apple to eat
My heart begins to no longer beat
The only thing that exist is the red night

And it is guarded by me, the dark knight

My eyelids are folding over my body
As I roll into my flesh bed
I dream, and I dream of you
I bury the dream
And I wake up underground

From the present... I fell in love.
I was off not above.
I could not love as you.
Soon... my love, would blue.
It would turn to the sea.
And that would be... be my long creed.
Pain inside me amplified by love.
Being drowned in desolation.
The only thing flooding my throat... was indeed desperation.
I unnaturally studied melancholy.
My heart was broken... from the pressure of the water.
I will never take another peaceful breath.
Love will be my death.
I quickly sink.
I'm on the brink,
Of vanity!
I've lost my in·sanity?
From the present... I fell in love.
The blue... sang its deathly, elegant tune.