Turn the mirror closer
So there is nowhere to hide.
No veil of explanation
Just what cruelly meets the eye.
Feeding yourself lies
Day after day
Searching for any way
To alleviate the pain.
Swept under the rug
Hidden from the light
Danced around on toes
But tripped over at night.
Searching for a way out
The easiest of ways
Hoping for the best
And waiting for the day.

But the day never comes
And the numbers pile high
And I’ve been standing all alone
Can’t even say goodbye.

Don’t tell me this is the end
When it never even began.
All I wanted was to have you
But that I never can.

You never wanted love
Just something to fill the hole
Where your heart once beated
Before your soul grew old.

The first time I skipped a meal, I spent the night with a gnawing pain in the pit of my stomach.
The first time I cut myself, I threw up at the sight of my own blood.
The first time I made myself sick, I cried.

The first time is always the hardest, but it only gets easier after that.

Years down the road now,
I can see the beauty in what I've done.
The breath-taking wonder found in decay.

Tonight I sit on the pavement
outside my apartment.
My fingers curl around the
rusted chain-link fence.
Sharp edges of broken wire
left cuts not nearly deep enough
on my arms when I squeezed
through the hole next to me.

I don't live anymore than the metal at my back.
Just like the fence I am merely existing.

Months from now,
my kidneys will run
the risk of failing.

Already my teeth are
stained and eroded from
stomach acid.

My bones knock against
one another from shivering,
and the pavement underneatth
me chews at my tailbone.

When someone asks for a picture of me,
I give them the grainy photograph of the hole in the fence.
Just like it I am rusting. Breaking down piece by piece.

There is beauty in dying. In the natural course of slow decay.

When doctors ask me
why I did this to myself,
I will show them the scars
on my stomach.
I'll show them my
barren womb and
protruding rib bones.

I'll tell them that in trying to be perfect, I found what we're all really looking for.

I discovered that we're
born to die, and that
the beauty of life is
our slow descent into
the darkness of death.

You 
You're like a storm
Bringing rain and destruction
Then leaving after you're done
Looking back at all the chaos you've caused
You 
You tricked me into thinking you cared
Until you found out how I felt
And you left
Like it was no big deal
You
You ignored me
Ruined me
You stopped talking to me and started talking about me
You
I loved you 
Now I  hate you
I was so stupid to think that you would ever be mine
I felt so dumb that i couldn't get you out of my mind
You
 You fooled me
Abandoned me
I still loved you
I missed you,even though you were never mine
You
You hurt me, left scars
But time heals all wounds
I've gotten over you,but not the things you've done
And I don't think I ever will

The word lover

Is all

Is beautiful

Emerges on soft sheets

Gentle to touch

Soars

Takes refuge

Among plain words

Caresses

Persuades

Seduces

Haunts

Words

Dream

Activa­tes vibrant

Lucid

Imagination

Gains access to

The essence of

[   ]

Locked up
Held in
Call the preacher for all of your sins

The lord cant solve your problems There permanently there
Etched in you like a canvas
You numbly stare

Oo bite the bullet
Bottle it up
Theres a bomb inside you
And its blowing up

Forgive me father
I have sinned
Fighting battles trying to win
Fighting for freedom
Striving for truth
But the true monsters their inside of you

Yeah there deep inside of you

So tell me
How do you slay the beast
When the beast is within me
Will it absorb the best of me
Or take my pain away

Fight your demons
To find your soul
Do it quick before they swallow you whole

Every day is like walking thin ice
Any move could be your last
So you better think twice

Forgive me father
I have sinned
Fighting battles trying to win
Fighting for freedom
Striving for truth
But the true monsters there inside of you

Yeah there deep inside of you


Swallow the unforgiving truth
See what the demons have in store for you
Fate its impossible to chase

No matter how you try
You cant erase
The future drawn for you
What youll have to face

All I've ever wanted

is a hug and a kiss,

a shoulder to lean on

in times like this.

Funny how life is,

I can't stand to see myself now.



So if you wanna love me

just show me how,

because I didn't know then,

and I don't know now.

I'll just keep waiting,

for the right one

                   to come

                          around.



Sound,

      sweet sound,

             can you hear my words?

Fill her ear,

       with a sweet song,

              since all my words just hurt.



Caught in the moonlight,

                    that comforting touch

     yet again,

               again,

                   I've thought too much.

A telltale tome of the telephone ringing,

      spurred sad singing to a somber melody

Of solace,

         silence,

             and sadness.



Silence thickens into walls of solitude

'Round this tender heart I hold on tethers

Searching for a light in the darkness

A sun to be embraced by the empty depths of a damaged soul.

I remember the  rainy summer days -
my feet caressing the clean stones,
each and every of the simple ways
of walking on the copper tones
of our sunsets.

The air was sweet and mild
and I was running freely, careless
my hair was flying wild
and I was wearing my mother's dress
Fluid soft silk - and orange tinted
with Japanese roses printed.


I kept on falling
for it was too long,
My skin was drowning
in the salty drops,
and life was growing
bold and strong
breathing.

The road had little lakes,
I can see it clearly now -
my present gently breaks
in front of their muddy scent -
I feel these clothes too heavy,
These sunsets incandescent...

How I long to feel again
That innocence so dearly;  
To get off this villain train,
and run away from this mess

Wandering freely,  
Wearing my mother's dress.