Tales of a Broken Girl

Tales of a Broken Girl Nov 2013

When I was little
All I wanted to be was a
Singer
Not a *Binge Eater.

Tales of a Broken Girl Nov 2013

Honestly
I'm back to square one
I tried to avoid it
I tried to fix it
I'm done talking to people who say they can help me
It just makes it worse
And it's not even a matter of if I should take the pills
It's a matter of when I take them

12 Tylenol's , 18 Sleeping pills, 15 pain killers and anything else I can find
Off to Wonderland I go....

Tales of a Broken Girl Nov 2013

Wonderland

If only I had a handful of pills right now
To take me to...
*Wonderland

Tales of a Broken Girl Nov 2013

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time
There was a boy
A stupid, messed up boy
A boy
Who's mom thought the pipe was more important
Then her own kids
Who believed in drinking away the pain
While watching the Sunday game
But we didn't have a tv
So she left us
Every Sunday
To watch the game
With her next customer
Use the money on coke
Instead of food
Taught her children that love is *******
And were all destined to fail
And this boy
Lived his life
Learning from her
Thinking its ok to do something
If you really want it

So it was ok for this boy to use me
Because he really wanted it?
It was ok for this boy to let his friends touch me
Because he needed to pay his debt?
It was ok for him to break my innocence
Because he was broken?
That was ok?
I was his flesh and blood
And yet
He was
Using me
Bruising me
Selling me
Telling me this is how life works
So young
I was so young
And yet
So broken

This is the most honest poem I have ever written....
And every single word is true

Tales of a Broken Girl Nov 2013

Reasons

How long will I have to go through this
How long will I have to wake up everyday
Dead
The only reason I'm still here
Is because
Somewhere in the deepest part of my heart
I have hope
So small
It's barely there
Just passing bye
But always there
Holding me together
So thin
Yet so strong

I know why I want to die
Reasons so small
They make the ants on the ground
Look so tall
They're so small
No one can help me
So they wind themselves around my heart
Squeezing
Draining
Killing
Every ounce of hope that I have left
Making my life hell on earth
Everyday
Life is pain
But pain is life
I didn't choose to be here
A women
High off of ***
And a man
Willing to pay brought me here
I guess they didn't get the memo
That when you bring someone into this life
You're supposed to stay with them
But they didn't stay
So why should I
Why should I stay in a world
That tells me I'm worthless everyday
Its simple
*I don't

Tales of a Broken Girl Nov 2013

He is a Narcissistic *******

It started as shivers
And many moths
Cute little hiccups
And tiny coughs
But watch out
Bring your own grave's shovel
Because his heart is like ice
*He's worse than the devil...

Tales of a Broken Girl Nov 2013

Little Me

She lived in the shadow of a lonely girl
Her cry's were so quiet
They didn't hear a sound
Always talking but was never heard

You could catch it if you looked in her eye
I knew she was brave but it was trapped inside
So scared to talk but she didn't know why

Wish I knew back then,
What I know now
Wish I could somehow
Go back in time
And listen to my own advice,

I would tell her to speak up, tell her to shout out,
Talk a bit louder, be a little prouder
Tell her she's beautiful, wonderful
Everything she doesn't see
Little Me

But hands on the clock only turn one way,
And now that girl is gone
And here I am
Broken
Beaten
Bruised
Dead
And it's to late to be saved