How am I going to tell you
That everything we have is going to end
I can't
I know it will hurt you
Because it hurts me too
More then when the razor cuts my skin
More then when my brother took everything I had
More then when the person who brought me into this world
Who was supposed to love me
Left me
This hurts more
Because for the first time in my life
I knew you felt the same way I did
But my sweet love
It has to be the end

Just like the movies
When the screen fades to black
And you sit there wanting more
But you can't so you replay the last hour and a half in your mind
So do that
Remember and know that I love you
And I forever will
But we have to stop
Because I've fallen to hard
And I know
You won't be there to catch me
No matter how many time
"I love you" leaves your mouth
You won't be there
Right when I need you most
So be careful what you say
To the next girl you give your love too
Because ultimately that's what will happen
I leave
And you'll find someone new
Someone better

Every things slipping
Right out of my hands
My life
My grades
Everything I ever cared about
Is just slipping and falling
Is it because I held on to tight?
Isn't that what you're supposed to do?
I wanted so desperately
To keep everything the same
While I fell apart
But I realized
When you fall apart
So does everything around you

I never meant to disappoint anyone
Its just who I am
It's just
What I do

So I'm sorry
Because this isn't even the beginning
And everything's about to slip
But I guess it already has
So I'm preparing myself for the shock
Because everything that I worked so hard to keep
Is about to crash and burn

I just wish I could do something right
That I could stop being
A waste of life
Thats what I am
Thats who I am
And thats what I'll forever be
A waste of life
I just take up space
At least thats what I'm told
They say I'm the definition of ugly
That what they say shouldn't hurt me
Because I'm not human
They use me and bruise me
And they don't even know
The torture they cause me
Everyday
Because my smile tells them a different story

In movies
They make death sound so bad
Like its the end
But for me
Its my escape
From all the torture
From all the pain
From all the things that make me wish
I could just slit my throat
And every time
I pick up that razor
Or a hand full of pills
I always stop and wonder
Would it be worth it?
To have it all "end"
For me yes
And I always want to tell myself
It gets better
Or so I've heard
But it doesn't
It can't
And it won't
Because everything they say
Is tattooed on my arm
You just can't see it
Because what I do is different
But that doesn't mean I am different from them
I just have a better way of hiding it
It's all in the smile
Because once they see that
It's a green light from then on
They see it as the "ok"
To call me things
Things that are so minor
But are so major in my life
Those things are what keep me on the edge
Because if they saw
What I really feel
They would be shocked
But is death really the answer?
Yes
For me... It has to be
Because if it isn't
Then what is
Nothing
Death is the only way to escape
I just have to plan when
When to do it
When to leave
Because its forever
But
I already have my answer
So please don't try and stop me
Just give me my space
Because if you ask me why
My answer is...
Everyone

The last tear falls down her face
Swirling on her cheek
As if its happy to be free
But then it drops down
On to her hand
Salt water mixing with blood
... And regret
Because now
She gave up
Its not like the other times though
No no
Because now
*She has the cuts to prove it

4 years with you
4 long years with you
And this is hard
Because what are you supposed to say to someone
Who hates you
Who is dying
Nothing
You can't say anything

So I don't
I won't
I won't cause you anymore pain
Because that's all I do
And since I don't know how long you've got
I'll just sit here
And watch you
*Die