#j
I'm in love I say
as her eyes gaze at mine
my love for u will stay
until I perish or fall
or have a sword straight though my brain
My heart will not grow small
As u help my heart beat once more
my spark was once ash
Like a smoke all done
Like flower in the winter
i was like a dead son
But u grew my spark
And now i can love
I love you
I love the way you are
I love the way you talk
I love that you don't blame me for my insecurities
Or tell me to shut up
I love u J
May 12
May 12, 2026 at 9:37 PM UTC
cold in my chest where charcuterie burned
pages of lifelines now crackle and moan
prayers for a future never returned
and silence within, the loudest I’ve known
Aug 19, 2025
Aug 19, 2025 at 12:09 AM UTC
i've learned a lot of things in the last ten years
and one of those things
is that a 9 1/2 years isn't long enough
to stitch back together a wound
made of broken trust
and lust
it's just...
festering.
still.
there is salt on my lips to this day
making the fragile skin crack and bleed
blood is also salty, you know.
they were wrong about bloodletting.
all these years and the poison you left behind still sits
heavy in my veins.
do you know that i still think about those roses on my windshield?
or that rough kiss in the elevator?
or the way you grabbed my arm, firmly,
because you knew i didn't want it.
the fear,
sweeping my nervous system like frost across a window,
as i walked out to my car at night
and found evidence that someone else had been there.
quickly locking my doors behind me and trying not to cry
more salt.
too much salt.
i need to rid myself of all this ******* salt.
you salted the earth behind you.
it wasn't consecration.
it was devastation,
designed to prevent anything beautiful from growing in this place.
it worked, for a while.
but i don't flinch when he kisses me anymore.
and i spent 7 years turning roses into something beautiful
for somebody else
so they could stop being a reminder of my own
hell.
so the wound isn't fully healed, this is true.
but less and less do i think of you.
they say the only cure for salted earth is time.
3-10 years to be exact.
i'll be rid of you soon.
Jun 9, 2025
Jun 9, 2025 at 11:51 PM UTC
Every time I shower, I stand froze on the bathroom floor,
my gaze locked on the wall.
The water dripping down my hair,
the little voice whispering,
"Was any of this even fair?"
No matter how many times I try to figure this out,
I never got the answer. Only tears.
Maybe it's because I bared my heart
while everybody around me was busy tearing it apart.
- J
Mar 10, 2025
Mar 10, 2025 at 10:38 AM UTC
Jesus- has got to be the foundation to get others to Heaven
Others- a lot easier when Jesus is the foundation
Yourself- to love others as yourself you have to love yourself
= JOY
Dec 23, 2024
Dec 23, 2024 at 10:03 PM UTC
You are the strength that built my spine,
The steady hand, the guiding line.
Through silent nods and quiet care,
I’ve always felt your presence there.
Your lessons shaped the life I’ve led,
Your words still echo in my head.
Though time may change the paths we tread,
You’ll always be my hero, Dad.
Dec 20, 2024
Dec 20, 2024 at 8:17 PM UTC
Say you'll remember, my love, my dear,
Through every moment, far or near.
Kiss me softly when you go,
Like a breeze that whispers low.
Kiss me sweetly when you're back,
Under stars in the velvet black.
Let your lips tell stories true,
Of the love that binds me to you.
Love me till the morning light,
Hold me close through the fading night.
Hearts in rhythm, two souls align,
Forever yours, forever mine.
Dec 4, 2024
Dec 4, 2024 at 3:08 PM UTC
I too ...
am grief stricken
& wanted of wear
I'm still haunted by
that place ...
where the Truth lies
& Souls be ******
without hope
or care !!!
Oct 18, 2024
Oct 18, 2024 at 3:10 AM UTC
I lay down every night wondering,
is this all i will ever get in love?
is this all i will ever receive?
I lay down every night thinking,
With only one thing in my mind.
It starts with a J.
I wonder if he lays down in the same way,
with one initial in mind,
would that initial be E?
or would it be another letter in the alphabet?
Oct 16, 2024
Oct 16, 2024 at 7:58 PM UTC
I know that I love you still,
because every time I pray to the Lord,
your somehow in it.
Weaved into my prayers of health, my prayers of love, my prayers of happiness, is your name.
Because your somehow forever in my life, as a memory and as a figure, and I don't know how to accept that.
And even though I hate to admit it, I will pray for your love until the Lord pulls me the other way.
Oct 13, 2024
Oct 13, 2024 at 10:21 PM UTC
Walking through the park
Light pores through trees and leaves
Two swans stand casually preening themselves
Their white feathers lifting gently then settling, then lifting in the wind
A heron parks on a wooden post in the pond
Signets busy themselves on the surface
Just being, being there to witness this
That's all that is needed today
Being..
Nov 9, 2022
Nov 9, 2022 at 6:01 AM UTC
this is how i love you;
darling, i would defy all of it
i will contain the universe inside me
so it might stop expanding towards oblivion,
so time could stop putting oceans between us
as i foolishly believe that there is something
much more at play here, more powerful than fate,
more contagious than magic or the universe's energy,
more concrete than science, more transcending than art,
something more than love---more than a feeling that can
be contained by the beating oddity caged by our fragile
frame all tender flesh, sweat, and sinew, laid to rot
once time comes full circle. because i foolishly believe
that even after death, whatever this is will continue to
bloom through the cracks of the earth, haunt other empty
hearts until it finds a love reciprocated so fervently
that it will forget residing in loneliness here in my own heart.
this is how i will love you; constantly even if it is only from
the safest distance i could manage. i will love you in all
languages my heart is fluent in; in sudden epiphanies, in bad
metaphors, in incoherent murmurs of joy, in silent tears, in i love
you's tucked in nightly prayers. even if your heart isn't capable
of comprehending the way i love and even if it never reciprocates.
-w.
Apr 10, 2022
Apr 10, 2022 at 2:57 PM UTC
It'd be easy, to call U an Angel.
Or a Vision of Love, sent My Way.
I could start, by painting your Portrait
and end up with, a Sculpture of Clay.
I cherish all those Moments.
They are safe, as a safe can Be.
A Heartbreak cannot afford to lose them,
Your memories will forever last with Me.
I wish I could describe the feelings,
each time I think of U.
U were a source of Energy and Healing
and a bit of..... Inspiration Too.
If I had the Words to Deliver,
How really I feel about U.
All My Feelings and Emotions,
would Gift wrap Myself to U.
Feb 27, 2022
Feb 27, 2022 at 8:01 AM UTC
Waiting is tedious
Waiting is more than the passage of time
Living is easy
Waiting is hard
Waiting implies a goal
An award
An achievement
Waiting is strenuous
Waiting requires patience
Patience is virtuous
Virtue is not easily attainable
It requires effort
And that, is why waiting is rare
Most just pass time
Those who are willing to wait
Are worth waiting for
Aug 31, 2021
Aug 31, 2021 at 4:39 AM UTC
when we say I DO.
feeling rush and no matter what I believe to be true.
it's always finding whether or not to become like I say you do.
Even it just this moment when I neither choose either of you.
just the way you are is perfect than the way you wish upon the stars.
I'll love you or either of you.
If you promise to be the way you are even if it's still true.
Jul 18, 2021
Jul 18, 2021 at 3:27 AM UTC
i am a beautiful bout of starts and sky
compiled into a confounded heart, left
reasonless in the dark so many times
hold me gently, like you promise now, when
we finally form a union, beautiful motion
scrubbing off the dirt and rinsing off my feet
hear me, my tired soul
hear me
forgiving the unkind parts of me
and respecting my needs,
recognizing the demon’s sins
seeing my ardent potential
chaining up my loose lead mind
promising a golden future for no one else
but me
Dec 21, 2020
Dec 21, 2020 at 2:52 AM UTC
you’re the kind of high i like,
the one i can’t get enough of,
you are my favorite flower.
and i’ll watch you lay on a blanket,
and wrap your arms to cuddle me in,
let our emotions ride the waves
feelings all so raw and real.
and i’ll inhale you deeply,
hold it in,
plant the seeds to grow a
garden of you.
your aroma, your scent,
it thickens in my memories,
my lungs tastes of you.
and exhaling all that anxiety,
my mind has turned a switch
and all the noise i once drowned in
are muffled whispers going into silence.
and i smile by the way
i’m addicted to you that
all i want is more of you,
i don’t want just the bouquet
but the paradise garden that is you.
Oct 4, 2020
Oct 4, 2020 at 12:31 PM UTC
Is it about you or God,
Does your religion teach hate,
A bed of roses may not be your life,
But it is was Jesus who wore the thorns of strife,
Don't judge but show love everyday,
God will sort us out on judgment day,
Live your life so when you die,
Nice things people say won't be a lie,
If you're going to be religious,
Instead of a nut be a fruit spiritually delicious,
It's good to talk the talk,
More pleasing to walk the walk,
If you keep your eyes on God above,
Then how can you not know love.
Sep 3, 2020
Sep 3, 2020 at 4:58 AM UTC
www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4UqMyldS7Q&list=PLbM5LMVZad0YmCXr99fAtAHetTUX2BWj8&index=2&t=0s
Jun 12, 2020
Jun 12, 2020 at 1:02 PM UTC
Love
Penchant
Lifes poetry
Heaven cent
Ohhhhhh thhhhhhe pessimistic violent
Cathedrals of woe went
so seductively silent
instantly for me the enchanted evening we met
i bit youre lip you bled
and i became youre accomplice
we let our yearning wet
skin slide and become passionate drenched in blood in the intimate
act of ******
together we killed the word regret
colliding while the animal side
broke the chains and ran wild untamed
in the rains of our sweat
A deluge of succulent desire
Liberated forever from the binds
of fear that we could have missed this close encounter
That night ............delving deep into mystery
You flowed out of an ****** effervescent fantasy
Causing Chemical unbalancing
My chalice is filled with love
it can never be emptied
Meant to be consumed
It springs from a well within me
Its an esensuality
In throes with love.....
I'm so in love with love
it is almost sickening
My quiddity is amorist
And you are nothing short of Deity
The inspirationalist of me
Because of you my life will be eternal poetry
Of empyrical quality the essence of you from fantasy of fabrizia
Every day i find you simply breath taking
Untill now i thought only
i could love -me that passionately
May 7, 2020
May 7, 2020 at 12:56 PM UTC
Love
Penchant
Lifes poetry
Heaven cent
Ohhhhhh thhhhhhe pessimistic violent
Cathedrals of woe went
so seductively silent
instantly for me the enchanted evening we met
i bit youre lip
and became youre accomplice
we let our yearning wet
skin slide and become passionate drenched in blood in intimate
act of ******
together we killed the word regret
colliding while the animal side
broke the chains and ran wild untamed
in the rains of our sweat
Liberated forever from the binds
of fear that we could have missed this close encounter
That night ............delving deep into mystery
You flowed out of an ****** effervescent fantasy
Causing Chemical unbalancing
My chalice is filled with love
it can never be emptied
Meant to be consumed
It springs from a well within me
Its an esensuality
In throes with love.....
I'm so in love with love
it is almost sickening
My quiddity is amorist
And you are nothing short of Deity
The inspirationalist of me
Because of you my life will be eternal poetry
Of empyrical quality the essence of you from fantasy of fabrizia
Every day i find you simply breath taking
Untill now i thought only
i could love -me that passionately
May 1, 2020
May 1, 2020 at 5:45 PM UTC
HIS NAME IS J RIGHT?
ALL I NOW I KNOW HE ALWAYS ON MY MIND
WISHING HE WAS MINE AND OH MY MY MY
NOW I KNOW HE MORE THAT A LOVE THAT RHYME
HIS VOICE IS SMOOTHER THAN WHAT MAKES WINE
KNOWING THAT HIS PIANO GROOVES ME MAKES MOVES ME MORE THAN THE HOURS SO SOOTHE ME TO IT DROVE ME TO THE MOMENT THAT KEPT ME ALL OVER NIGHT LISTENING TO THE SKIES FALLING OVER ME IN THIS TIME.
Apr 2, 2020
Apr 2, 2020 at 12:21 AM UTC
There's things I never want to feel again. Not for them. Not for me. Not for no one. Not for no situation. There's things I never wanna see cause it'll be hot flashes of what used to be. Things I used to do. The person I used to cater too. The person I used to be. The person whom I've shed. That ain't me. Thats dead. Those aren't my feelings. Those aren't real. They're not real. I've healed. I've healed. They were. Believe me they were. But not no more. Those feelings don't belong to me, they don't right? Not more, no sir. The one with untended emotional wounds and unmet needs. The one you never tended, prioriorites you didn't feed. They don't belong with the new me. With the new year. With the new skin. They belong with the broken. The old me with kinks, swollen bottom lip. The teary eyed, the big brat. With the small hands that fit perfectly into yours. That's the old me with the old you. May they rest in peace. But they keep me up on nights like this, tell em please stop calling me. Please **** stop calling me.
Jan 6, 2020
Jan 6, 2020 at 3:42 AM UTC
i want to be independent
but i become enticed in the feeling of having others build me up to make a 'better me'
but people are unreliable
they love you till they see all your vulnerabilities and your flaws
then they blast it for the world to see
and they wonder why i no longer make the effort to talk
i distance myself
i create a world where i need to be independent
because no one can be trusted
Dec 8, 2019
Dec 8, 2019 at 7:18 AM UTC
Not a horseman, nor a coach,
The horses are down the high pitched coast;
Only a weak whip-like reproach
Made the horses run from their own ghost.
Down the hill, the horses flying
Into the deep like doomed pegasuses' *****
The neighs and waves are crying,
Replying the peaceful song of a fiendish siren.
Before the dark water turns to scarlet,
It paints a mad reflection of them horror haunted;
A demerited dark life-span mindset
That vanishes in the wild waves delighted.
Oct 6, 2019
Oct 6, 2019 at 11:52 AM UTC