Don't hate me cause im beautiful
Try loathing me just because im me.
Oh wait that's to easy
How bout love me cause Im conceited
And make love with everything that rhymes with me
May 29, 2020
May 29, 2020 at 3:29 PM UTC
A deluge of torrential what ifs like an eclipse of locusts
With vengence an direction found me in my safe place
A drift in a sorta melancholy solitude
marinating in whimsical impossibility
Pretending to not know that the schism
Where i linger upon the precipice
Is a self induced illusion.
Like the unknown comedian
I wear the disguise too well
And become the demure secrete self saboteur
Muddy the waters and ill be in basking in the riptide saturate this bottomless sea with self defeating piranhas
A give me the key to success and tell me there ill find happiness
Cool thank you ill see you on the shore
I get it
I got this
I think.... .... At ..least......
Im............pretty.
sure.......
May 29, 2020
May 29, 2020 at 3:10 PM UTC
Just got out of harbor view Its been oh
Gosh i dont know .uhhm.....lets see
Uhhh geez
Has it realy been.
a year .
No wait ......damm its been two
Wow. Two years. Now i know i dont need these crutches
Sometimes i wonder why i keep them ........................other times ...........
When i have ...........a
....... reality change........
Its like im tryin to convince my self
At times that i am so sure this is not real this isnt happening. This
Doesnt fit within my reality
Im so sure its not but it so real to me
It surreal and when i open my eyes its the norm and im trying to reform to this new unreal surreality
Tripping back im stung glistening with this dumb look like i wanna fit in and im having some difficulties getting along with who i need to be which is who i dont want to be
And the hardest part is remembering which one i really am
And now out of the blue an familiar knock
On my window i look out clutch my chest
Instant hysteria im paralyzed my first
Paranormal experience and i fient
When i wake im feeling dizzy and cant focus and when lucidity and coherence congeal and my ability to decode the audible signal i receive
My vision awaking the apparition
Im terrified and speechless what i thought was a reflection apparently was not it was a siren or a banshee
A ghost or something..
It was kneeling above me saying hey. .......look at me ........
Are you ok?
The familiarity is what gripped me so tight i couldnt breath.
Its oh My God its ...........its you.
I see you and its you.
I see the icy you and you are being warm and gental i dont know what to do ?
My God you are beautiful
Then i woke wit this broken heart in the I.C.U.
It. Was. YOU!
May 26, 2020
May 26, 2020 at 8:41 PM UTC
The waves ................................in everything is litterally mind numbing
from the miniscule feeling, emotional,physiological
Touch see hear feel ,our transmitional end.....l...basically its a matter of out put feed compared to in put recieved
Is a combination of electical and chemical
sending signals through synapses
in our brain to the ebb and flow of life
there is always dependency ,
a certain elasticity,
from the amoeba to the krab Nebula and to the distances beyond the mass vastnesses of emptiness which surpass time and our conceptual reality bristling with unconscionable
Diversities there one unifying thing .....................................FREQUENCY
Before we begin ,
Bassically it seems sorta obvious to me but thenagain iv never been accused of not being crazy ,you may agree or maybe youre actually an fractured splinter of my psycee,remember this only barely Reveals one frequentiality
Each society begins in slavery to someone or something
We shall view it plotted out sequntialy
1 slavery ,
This is thee epitomy of a conundrum ...........because it seems deplorable stemming from some sickning defect within the inner core of our fundemental matrix?or an elementary conditioning painfull as it seems ,purging the weakness like Thors hammer bearing down
Were trapped upon the torments fear ensues then impact
While the hammer swings back the first obvious thing we see is the loss the second thing painfully is the weak and frail are impurities cast out in the dross the 3rd thing still stinging and seeing the sparks flying
All these revelations setting in so quickly almost simetaneously the sequence of acceptance taken on basic instinct
4 another impact
The clarifying
Sorry forgive me
Im off track
..........lets see oh
The frequency of societies
Ok
1 ******* as time and atrocities continue the strongest survive and nothing will ever subdue the hunger for freedom
2 the day will come
The united forged to fight will always emerge victoriously breaking the oppressive kingdom and as independent free men never looked down on again begin ...........only the purest of heart thee elite ..........the ferocious, tenacious the bravest the vigilant
3 these .......the legends still coverd in blood lived it first hand unfoutunatly cant escape the grave now the generation all past and this new one has never been slave although has been trained is more of a cast rather than a forging strong like the real thing **** a forgery keepin the dream and principals sadly its compromised because its not breathing for the same reason
4 in due season each generation capitulates becoming liberal taking liberty and theyre forefathers dream for granted ......the violent carnage of battle crushing the tyrany covered in so much blood the soil became mud an flooded the streets standing tall iron clad face grimaced giant gladiators pupils dialated notstrils flared eyes titanium white a stark contrast from dark thick blood and the past as the story gets handed down it losess the pain and becomes just a story then a fairy tail
It happens so fast and treachery and capitulation sets in like an infection
5 sorta breathing becoming lazy and cocky false pride starts breeding
6 rich and fat pompeous making enemies unaware and dont care bringing them right to the doormat
7 extravagant weak minded oppulent every thing spent borrowing everything unashamed as if were gona get the glory days back sticking our nose in uninvited an un celebrated with entitalment
8 the principals an unity went literally to me ...... no me ......me. me me mee meeeeeeeeee and so quickly the working class is small compared to the governing the couldnt see them becoming slaves
9 eventually we will be forged an rise to the ocassion and fullfill our destiny becoming the pinacule of a peak within our frequency.
May 23, 2020
May 23, 2020 at 4:47 PM UTC
cant go im busy running toward my own memories looking back at the
Path behind its quickly getting shorter than the one in front of me
And the sea of regret advances
Death do us part
I made a vow
And currently
Im feeling the under tow
******* me its so seductive
I want .......im succumbing
I...... Icant. ... Im letting go
My heads swimming
Icant fight it im being swallowed
The current
The tides taking me.....
The mordant received from the infidel the hell of halucinations
Seducing my mortality
Hear the boards creaking as i waddle blindfolded towards the gallos
The short fat man reading my requiem
Now i feel the beckoning
The ground is fallowed
No more tomorrows no more sorrows
No turning back the halls to narrow
Im fractured i cant move i feel the damp soil leaching
Slowly mixing with the marrow im hollow
Im destitute within without solution
I cant defend this incomprehensible
Delusion
The firing squad is my love my only witness the prosecution my soulmate and the one who throws the switch at my execution
Tunnel vision dirt infusion shallow grave i feel the worms writhing .....i did my part she broke my heart
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020 at 7:08 PM UTC
I have trouble sleeping at night ,
Insomnia PTSD
I try to be everything
To everyone
Except me
I oversee always
Watching ,I see triggers,tells,contradictions ,I analyze,search youre feelings ,I hurt them and record emotions
I check youre alibies
In privacy I give you more than you can handle, take it all in ,hold it,if you can, tell you lies
make you
Swear to secrecy then put you in the hot seat
I wana see loyalty
Dont wory
I will I will see you leek
Interrogate ,
My OCD I categorise,everybody has something special ,especially for me a potentiality to be unique unfortunately the elite of which we speak are few and far in between
Categorically speaking
Category
Basic rough first meeting
A mere no frills off the cuff outline
Unrefined
Them
Me
Me friend
Them friendemy
Subcatagory A
1 A,needy ,wanting, attention seeking
Overly friendly...............fickle
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020 at 10:14 PM UTC
Dingdidading ! KLANG!
Dingdidaling..^¬KLANG¬^
Liberty
Taking the.chains that that enslave
Symbolically
DINg....DIng...Ding..ding.
^×KLANK×^
Symbiotically
We absorb each blow so painfully
Graining
Kling kling
-KLANK-
Solidarity
As one we align united in due time we find strength do what were destined to
Integrity
_KLINGK ........KLINGK_
Duty
Honor
Courageous
Bravery
From the unmovable mass of the
torments,and the heavy weight swing
Let the victorious sound of tbe untamed dead ring and let the feeling of freedom choke out the tyranny
KLANG
KLANG
KLANG
LET US ALWAYS FIGHT
FOR THOSE WHO CANT
LET US NEVER FORGET THE HEROS WHO DID
UNCONDITIONALLY
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020 at 12:09 PM UTC
There will never ,ever
Even till the end of eternity
Which coincidentally
Is an incongruent term and quite possably
The most contradictory oxymoronic statement
Concerning time that shall transcend beyond eternity
Wait I take it back
Actually the statement made after that will be
And speaking of incongruity
If you dig enigmas explain this
In the absence of anything
There lies a state of nothing do you follow me?
Correct me if I'm wrong there cannot be kinematic
In otherwords the change in position of an object with respect to its surroundings in a given interval of time
Whether time flows and we roll with it
Or we flow through it
I believe it is thee quintessential core of a three faceted quantative illusion in alows reality to exist and not only "be" a perpetuating matrix of quantum flux incorperating a ductile with minimal elasticity time space continum
OK then if eternity or even time has no end then it could have never began
Within this level of experience
It would be, then not be, then be
Then never not be
Or existforeverolid state suspended animation in witch
Everything existing never knowing
Wouldn't that be something
You could actually hear nothing
Nothing could then exist
Yet when nothing can be conceived or conceptual believed or deceived then nothing can decay so
Essentially every thing existing all at once forever
in cognitive self awarness ,or this mind based reality using only signals from external stimulus
It limits us by only allowing lucidity agree with a time base frame of reference
A sorta two way street black and white right or wrong
And unfortunately for me this is how my functions in a hypothermal state
I'm really still trecking up this mountain well past the Snow line
As I began to say there will never be a way to describe the emotions I'm incurring
For lack of better terms its shear repubate mind stupiditry
And a plethera or dumbly done things
Plus I'm feeling guilty because I insulted the sun because she ran behind this mountain there went all the heat
May 15, 2020
May 15, 2020 at 12:31 AM UTC
Trudging solo~ee
In transition slowly from a state of shock to fate of vulnerable lucidity
Infused with fridgid droplets of Pain each came introspect relecting
accountability
my only safety
taking solice in my innocence it seems
Nothing is left sacred lacerated by infidelity
Infuriating
Seeing my loalty turn against me
every deploreable thing done to me
from my confidant i kept in Connfidentiality
Creating this delusion where in shes the victim confusing reality
Bruising my paradigm a legion of Allies premeditating alibies
Insanity don't know how to play this game
forces me into the gravitation of blame
Sickening
im feeling a fever my psyche
each pain full Step jars my back
and intermitantly makes my teeth clack
and from this sicknes i lack in defenses succombing to ickness sporn from an injury inflicted im infected with rejection that belicose ***** bit me and her venom teaming with discordant seeds incubating festering a contageous strain by which turng every person on my side against me inducing seclusion and the thought of uxorcide gurgaling burgeoning at the verge of emerging
Im trying to stave it
To my demise i can see its so seducing confusing im craving the thouhght of looseing it
In delerium the poison leaching joy and bleaching all color from my eyes
Still determined i faulter onalmost to my knees
Begrudgingly the greyness above me clouds darkening
enveloping in black and white are like the serpents belly
Over taking me in my defense i cannot speak so low
solo
nothing below
Not even gravity wants me im delerious go on *** ......leave me.
Un victoriously this is all so beneath me
clemency i violently bequieth thee
Silently no one worth hearing me
Quietly im screaming
its not me
I'm solo
No !
I cant go
Death do us part
in my mind im not alone im so shallow
Engulfed in my shadow
Slow alone
Lowly
Im gone so long me..
..sorry!
May 12, 2020
May 12, 2020 at 2:42 PM UTC
Why does ice taste funny when it melts
And why does it float
Then inner me ..............Idiot!
Isolated alone dumb down
Blend in have sum fun
Its overated become the clown
Bound to the character you've created
Now you're down congrats you've made it
forced to perpetuate this stupid persona
Now you feel stupider cause you hate it
May 11, 2020
May 11, 2020 at 5:09 PM UTC