#ineedyou
i've lived with you all my life
you've been there through the laughter and the heartache and the tears
you were always physically there
but never emotionally
i am your daughter through blood, but not through love
i never had the comfort of being close to you
you were always just my mother
hearing other people talking about their relationships with their moms hurts
bc i've never had that
always disappointed for my mistakes and never praise for my achievements
you were always too busy to talk
too preoccupied with my other siblings to listen
too tired to comfort me in my time of need
i've always had a mother, but i've never had a mom
you are so checked out of my life that you cant hear my cries for help
but its just a normal teenager thing, right?
Nov 12, 2021
Nov 12, 2021 at 12:22 PM UTC
Tonight is a Terrible, Silent Respite
From The Cruel, Cruel March.
The Brilliance of Sunlight's Beauty
Begins to Scar With Cracks of Dark .
The Echoes Of The Universe
Are Few And Far Apart,
And In This Of All My Treasured Moments,
I Wonder Where You Are?
The Pillars And Foundations Sometimes Fall
From So Many Things That Were Beautiful
And Tears I Weep As Light Escapes,
Kneeling Before The Fireplace,
To The Flames, Whose Soul Burns to Embrace
The Many Broken Parts Of Me,
That Can No Longer Be Replaced.
Jul 11, 2021
Jul 11, 2021 at 10:20 AM UTC
You can’t spare a laugh
when I need one
to make me feel
that much better.
Spare a laugh
For me
When I need you
To lift me up
Into the clouds
Just for a second.
Jun 8, 2021
Jun 8, 2021 at 7:52 PM UTC
I only pray
You keep your promise
To never leave
My broken soul
I know its hard
I know i'm not easy to love
But say with me
Until our pictures are old
And there fraying at the edges
After all that was your promise
You swore you would stay with me
Even when its hard
Because the sadness from you
Abandoning me is a sadness
I could never recover from
Feb 10, 2021
Feb 10, 2021 at 10:35 AM UTC
here i sit
watching
watching you make new friends
whether or not they're good for you
i sit here watching you make one bad decision after another
but i don't say much in fear of upsetting you
in fear of drifting farther away from you
in fear of you going off and informing people of my worrying
here i sit
watching you tell people things that weren't yours to tell
watching you drift farther away from your innocence
farther away from your true relationships
farther away from me
here i sit
while you yell at me
while you tell me to not worry
while you tell me you "love me"
while you tell me that you will be okay
while you cry to me
while you vent to me
while you tell me you don't care
while you laugh at me for caring
while you tell me you hate him
but then tell me you miss him
while you tell me that i need to care once i say im done caring
here i sit
crying
crying because of how much pain this is causing me
crying because i can't do anything
crying because you are fine with this
crying because you are fine with them
crying because im tired of feeling this way
crying because what happened to always?
what happened to
ill never leave you
ill always love you
i would never do that
just one more
trust me
i would never lie to you
im sorry
i should've listened to you
you're my only true best friend
you're my person
here i sit
exhausted from the mental pain
being forced into feeling numb because im tired of feeling
missing what we had
what we should've still had now
what you tell me we still have
...
but we both know that we don't
Nov 6, 2020
Nov 6, 2020 at 8:01 PM UTC
im scared
im scared that one day our long embraces will evolve to just a faint smile
im scared that one day we will merely wave when we see each other
im scared that one day we wont even wave
we might just glance at each other
not so long ago, we spent every waking minute together
not so long ago, i laid in your bed and laughed all night with you
not so long ago, we dreaded for the time i had to go home
not so long ago, we told everything to each other
not so long ago, we always had something to talk about
not so long ago, we would go on long walks just because
not so long ago, we would sneak off at 2 AM to watch the stars
not so long ago, we laid on my shed roof in the middle of the night
just to watch the sky and talk
not so long ago, we laid on your kitchen floor rolling in laughter
not so long ago, we cried in each others arms
not so long ago, we composed hilarious songs in your room just to belt them out so that your dad would hear how dumb we were
not so long ago, we laid together and watched the fault in our stars
not so long ago we say
but it seems so long ago
it seems like a distant memory
Nov 2, 2020
Nov 2, 2020 at 10:52 AM UTC
I remember the taste of your lips.
I searched in panic
Trying to remember the last place
I put you.
Turning my pockets inside out
Conscious of the last time you were here
on my lips
Consciously knowing that I need you now.
It's been twenty-five minutes already
& I am craving the way you lick my lips.
I am in awe, your body pressed between my fingers.
My lips swallowed by your tongue.
I stand in silence.
Punished yet unpunished
The taste of your lips swirling against my lips
Patting my pockets then looking up
To see you've been in front of me the whole time.
Whether several seconds or several lifetimes
I am in constant protest.
If I were to lose you, consciously knowing that I need you now
Unconsciously knowing how much is left in you.
I stand in silence punished yet unpunished
Giving my lips to you
Until one of us parts
Mar 3, 2020
Mar 3, 2020 at 4:34 PM UTC
That's the difference
between myself and autumn
I can't let you go
Sep 23, 2019
Sep 23, 2019 at 12:48 PM UTC
You are the light of my life
My morning sun and my evening moon
I want to reach you and stay by your side
Too bad you’re just “not in the mood”
Too bad “you have better things to do”
Because the only thing I do
is think of you
I dream
of you thinking about me too
May 15, 2019
May 15, 2019 at 3:05 PM UTC
You lead me on and gave me a dream,
Full of fantasy’s the pleasure has been redeemed,
I looked into your soul it was beautiful and bright,
You truly loved me cuz you never gave up not a day or night,
I let you in now deeper than ever before,
Something broke free and inside I could now explore,
I want to kiss you and get high off your love,
My pleasures are now sparked high and above,
Push in and pull me close,
Give me your love so I can overdose,
Touch my body everywhere,
Glide those fingers even down to there,
Kiss down my neck to my ******* as you please,
Now I’ll let my tongue and lips explore you and I know where to tease,
You’re my fire and I’m your flame,
At this moment not a soul was tame,
Breathe on my neck and pull me to your chest,
And up inside something pressed,
The movement was right,
And the pleasure took flight,
You and me were up all night..
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 9:21 AM UTC
I miss the days....
When all I had to do
Was scream your name
And I would know that
You would be there
In less than a second
Because you would never leave my side
I miss the days...
When all I had to do
Was say I had a nightmare
And I would use that as an excuse
To cuddle with you
In bed
But
Those days are gone
And now I have to wait
For you to show up
You tell me that
I'm old enough to face my fears
But
I don't think
You realize
That I'm growing up
And I need you the most
Because I'm facing
Everything I'm introduced to
Alone.
Dec 11, 2018
Dec 11, 2018 at 7:51 PM UTC
im sorry my love
even if you don't think i am
i really am
i love you, you know i do
im happy whenever you sleep over
im happy when you cuddle me
im happy when you kiss me
im happy when your around
im happy in your arms
im happy with you
but we aren't ''together''
please take me and make me happy
do you really love me like you say?
please do, you mean everything to me
i don't know what i'd do without you in my life
thank you for being there
and im sorry for hurting you in anyway
i wanna make you feel like how you make me feel
i wanna kiss you
i wanna kiss your neck
your cheeks
your nose
your hands
your everything
i wish you were mine
but there are people in the way
people that i like too
ones who like me
ones who will hate me for getting with you
ones who will hate you for getting with me
ones who like you.
we have rules for each other
and well... you know how that ends when we break them
im glad i met you
im glad you're still in my life
please don't go
i need you
i love you...
i hope you know that
Aug 12, 2018
Aug 12, 2018 at 9:40 PM UTC
i need your love babe,
Guess you know its true
Hope you need my love babe,
Just as much as i need you.
I need your presence babe
as much as you do
i did everything i could
but still not enough for you.
I need you..
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 1:28 AM UTC
"Can I be your Brother? or just a Friend?, because I can be always with you," he said.
"But Love one?", I murmured.
He got no answer.
So I guess being love one, 'we fade. '
Mar 3, 2018
Mar 3, 2018 at 2:05 PM UTC
Everything is killing me.
Slowly and softly.
I am here fighting a battle.
Against me, myself.
The sharp weapons of my enemy.
Are cutting deep.
And I know without help,
I won’t be able to win.
A war against my mind, my feelings.
There is not victory.
Without your help, I’m lost.
But you are not here, not with me.
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 18, 2018 at 9:17 PM UTC
I pour it into the cup
And take a long sip
the mix of regret and hope fill into my stomach as I drink the last bit down to the bottom,
I eagerly shake the cup and act like if I shake it any longer and harder, it will shake the feeling of my love back into nothing.
Nothing is what I wish I would feel when I hold the cup with every inch of my soul and the strength of my tiny weak hand,
I cannot stand why you left me with the inches of fear getting to me,
I walk down the path of regret and I drink from the fountain of shame as I stand before the thing I’ve always hated the most about you,
your love.
It was the same love that made me believe that nothing turned into something so beautiful,
even the heavens are jealous of how much it shines,
the thing is our love for each other shines brighter than any hope in the sky.
After awhile the hope left and so did you
and I’m not surprised if you don’t show up ever again,
You see I’m still trying to shake the thought of you coming back like I’m shaking the cup,
Harder
and harder
I shake and shake and cry until I cannot feel anything anymore,
I grab the bottle of memories but accidentally spill the regret,
the same regret I wear on my sleeve whenever your around.
It’s not like this is the first time though, drinking the remembrance of our love until I throw up, no sweetheart, it’s only the beginning.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 11:32 PM UTC
We fought like the rough sea slashing rocks in our path . The tide whispered to me and slowly pulled me away. The ocean fell silent for decades to come. And only then was it to late for me to realise how I missed the rough sea that is us.
Feb 9, 2018
Feb 9, 2018 at 3:11 PM UTC
It's 2:22 in the morning.
I am sitting here thinking.
I am thinking of you.
Our mushy little texts we would send.
Our kisses we'd share on my front porch.
I am sitting here remembering everything we had been through.
That night our family argued.
I thought I'd never see you again.
That day I snuck you into my house.
That was our last day.
I cherish it, I cherish you.
I will never forget the memories.
I will never forget you.
Oct 21, 2017
Oct 21, 2017 at 2:28 AM UTC
What is love?
Love is knowing it won't last
What is love?
Love is dreading each day without her.
What is love?
Love is suffocating on the familiar scent of her perfume.
What is love?
Love is crying yourself to sleep every excruciating night without her
What is love?
Love is listening to the same song over and over again because it was our song.
What is love?
Love is wondering if she even cared at all.
What is love?
Love is trying not to fall apart even though there is nothing left to hold onto.
What is love?
I don't know, but I know she is the love of my life but she will never be mine again.
Oct 21, 2017
Oct 21, 2017 at 12:33 AM UTC
Those three words
of a sudden
pounded in my ears,
and echoed searing through my vessels;
They tumbled all
the way
down,
to find within my breast
a rusted, sleeping drum:
*
My entire body rang
like a pinched nerve
with that familiar crystalline magnetic
that weaves the restless dreams of skyward eyes,
and drags our seizing hearts into the night,
that floods the weary’s lungs with scent of rain,
and ***** the ears of midnight wolves to give them pause.
You woke me, and I kissed you hard and warm;
I thanked you, for I didn’t know
If my eyes would ever see again.
Mar 4, 2017
Mar 4, 2017 at 2:46 AM UTC
My heart is a black hole now that you're gone
I lay awake in my bed at night
Thinking about what we used to be
How we made love right here
And when you used to sleep next to me
I think about you in bed at night
And cry myself to sleep
Oct 27, 2016
Oct 27, 2016 at 4:55 PM UTC
You are the sun I orbit,
Ice and freezing temperatures
Flee from your touch;
I'm flooded with warmth.
As not to scorch
My fragile skin
You never slumber.
I rotate around you,
Though you're far
I remain here
Dependant on you.
You love
You care
From a distance.
Snow and icicles
Become
Blossoms and waterfalls.
A never ending cycle,
You healing the wounds
Inflicted where light is foreign.
You give life,
Without you, I'd be bare
And bone dry.
I'll orbit you
Till the end of time
Or till we're
Swallowed by black.
You're my sun,
I need you...
l.v.s
Jul 14, 2016
Jul 14, 2016 at 2:50 AM UTC