Everything is killing me.
Slowly and softly.
I am here fighting a battle.
Against me, myself.
The sharp weapons of my enemy.
Are cutting deep.
And I know without help,
I won’t be able to win.
A war against my mind, my feelings.
There is not victory.
Without your help, I’m lost.
But you are not here, not with me.
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 18, 2018 at 9:16 PM UTC
There was a girl I once knew. A girl with cheeks like roses. Lips as soft as petals. Eyes, as green as the forest. Sometimes red from all the tears.
She would walk the streets silently, lost in her world. She would loose herself in her thoughts every time it was not necessary to be here. To forget the pain.
In this cold, cruel world she would wander. With a mind as beautiful as a flower in the morning after a heavy rain. With a soul as old and wise, far beyond her age. And a heart, caring and loving. Heavy as a raindrop on a leaf.
After everything she had to endure. After everything that let her fall to the cold, hard ground, she would get up again. She would dust herself off and continue walking her way.
Giving chances, giving love wherever she could. But with each time, with each fall, she would surrender into her world, letting fewer eyes in. Showing less of her true self.
Until one day, she would look at the reflection in the mirror, not knowing who stares back.
Feb 2, 2018
Feb 2, 2018 at 7:50 PM UTC
I stood on the top of my world
I saw as far as the human eye could
I smelled the flowers and the trees
I heard the birds and the leafs
I felt the wind on my skin
The wind was playing with my hair
The noises took me away
The scent made me dream of flowery fields
The sight took my breath away
I heard the waves crashing
I tasted the salt on my lips, my doubts falling apart
The sun was blinding, but I was still
I was watching with my heart
Thinking about everything and nothing
My world was small, but beautiful
A stunning view, which cleared my mind
Which opened up my soul
I stood there on Cherry Tree Hill
Jan 25, 2018
Jan 25, 2018 at 12:59 AM UTC
I’m like a bird
Flying away
Being free
Enjoying
I’m like a bird
Singing away
Being self ruling
Excited
I’m like a bird
Travelling away
Being released
Mindful
I’m like a bird
Dancing away
Being unconquered
Free
Jan 14, 2018
Jan 14, 2018 at 8:58 PM UTC
Lost
I have done it again
I have been here many times before
It comes down on me, like heavy rain
It feels like war
Help, I have lost myself again
My mind is poisonous, my enemy
Poisoning my being, my soul
Neglected, distressed, not loved
I am not enough
Jan 14, 2018
Jan 14, 2018 at 2:52 PM UTC
Why do you not want,
The rose that’s in front of you
Why do you have to
Go into someone else’s garden
To pick a different one
Because the one you have
Is not enough,
Because my Patel’s don’t excite you,
Anymore
You are creating my thorns
Sharp, long and ready
To defend my Patel’s
Because I’m not enough, never
In your garden, I’ll wait
Until you pick me
Until you destroy me
Again
Jan 9, 2018
Jan 9, 2018 at 7:34 PM UTC
How could you do this to me?
You did nothing and still too much
Not physically, but mentally
You caused pain!
The voices in my head are coming alive
They are getting louder, violent..
My heart is in pain!
A pain it can hardly take
Betrayal. You betrayed me.
Worse then by flesh
I was gone and you considered. You caused me pain!
Pain, that haunts me!
Pain, that destroys me!
Pain, that torturers me!
It’s poisoning me...
You made me cry
You turned my life around
I trust you when you are with me
But when you are gone dark thoughts emerge
Can I trust you? I don’t know
Do I want to? I’m sure I want too
Don’t make me feel this way.
Please, don’t hurt me
Jan 6, 2018
Jan 6, 2018 at 8:17 PM UTC
You don’t know how much you hurt me each time
Each time you say no
When you laugh it off and say later
Without you even know
Later, later, I cannot hear it anymore
Each time of neglect
When I ask you to kiss me, touch me
Without a single regret
Hurt, piece by piece, shattered and destroyed that is how I feel
Each time you say no
Why is that you don’t want me?
Do you even know?
Your well-being is my priority
I do everything for you
My heart is tortured like a stormy sea
Just because of you
Nov 26, 2017
Nov 26, 2017 at 10:24 PM UTC