#hesitate
Something about the fact that I’ve been patient
Keeping my thoughts and actions all to myself
Why do I hesitate so easily
Like I’m not proud of myself
Why do I give up so easily when I know deep down I can make it
So much self doubt within
Sometimes I hate it
Should I be who I’m destined to be
Or should I let this side rot
Building up on years of telling me I should stop
Breaking down every barrier
Cause this time it’s to late
Never will I hesitate at my own fate
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025 at 9:52 AM UTC
Riding my motorcycle,
music whispering through my AirPods,
the drizzle kisses my skin,
but I keep going.
Then the rain thickens,
thunder growls like a beast in the sky,
and I don’t speed up.
I let the storm catch me,
daring it to take me,
wishing, maybe, it would.
But deep inside, I fear it too.
Not the dying
but the thought of not dying instantly.
A cruel hesitation,
a war between surrender and survival.
How pathetic, how fragile.
I was only going 20 km/hour,
while I Love You So by The Walters
played like a farewell,
or maybe, a reminder
that I was still here.
Mar 3, 2025
Mar 3, 2025 at 9:28 AM UTC
I know my face is feminine
I know everyone 'knows' I'm a girl
I know in this confusing christian society
You have to keep to the binary
And so I don't expect them
To look at me
And say "He"
But just once
Maybe they'll hesitate
Before saying "She"
Nov 26, 2020
Nov 26, 2020 at 11:27 AM UTC
the tired eyes
and sluggish hands
in a late night rendezvous
that starts with a touch
that explodes in your chest
the fire at your fingertips
that splatter all throughout
and it's the sparks in your lungs
the brightness against a groggy gaze
which fills the spaces between your words
the ellipses between your sentences
the pauses between each breath you take
every hesitation
and never seems to end.
Sep 15, 2020
Sep 15, 2020 at 10:47 AM UTC
Yes, I’m done talking.
Oh, no, one more thing—
Nevermind, you’re not listening.
Aug 1, 2020
Aug 1, 2020 at 1:54 PM UTC
A pause..
The pulse quickens
Throat swallows
Tension thickens
A breath follows
The silence weighs a ton
An everlasting duration
To the silence between someone
The sound of hesitation
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 3:37 PM UTC
the way you stand in the mirror
with eyes full of tears
because in the wrong lighting
you so easily declare yourself frightening
claiming no one, not even yourself could love you
but it's a scary thing when they say they feel it too
not knowing how much you actually care for them they so
easily say the same thing you do
breaking your heart slowly
and unknowingly
you tell her I hate you
and without hesitation, she repeats, I hate you too
Jun 1, 2020
Jun 1, 2020 at 11:50 PM UTC
To fall for a person
With hands of bird bone
That quiver and flutter
And like water, break stone
Winter blankets branches
It asks
Does frost taste bitter or sweet?
One step forward,
One retreat
Each step stepping
On someone’s feet
If I held those hands
It asks
Would it taste bitter or sweet?
Don’t hold birds;
Watch them flit from trees
And come and go
as they please
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 20, 2020 at 5:44 PM UTC
A little work
will make a difference.
Don't hesitate to
make a change.
Feb 2, 2020
Feb 2, 2020 at 9:13 AM UTC
you, special one, so enthralling indeed
casting fits of need with viridescent pits of greed
take me between your fists in the lifeless heat of night
break a willful bird from the fantasy of flight
what kind of crippling love do we breed
when all is good only when I bleed?
I bleed.
Dec 2, 2019
Dec 2, 2019 at 3:04 PM UTC
People will reach out to you,
for they want to earn your trust.
But there's something inside you,
telling you...
"Are you gonna trust that person?...
Sooner or later, you'll end up disappointed again,
so it's better to shut the door and lock it...
Don't let anyone in."
For your heart was far too damage,
it can be fixed...But not the way it used to be.
May 24, 2019
May 24, 2019 at 6:42 AM UTC
Why did you do it, just stop right there
To leave me standing in the cold.
I was scrapped for parts, left all bare
Spending countless nights all alone
Waiting for a sign to free me from that mare
And I try not to fight, but I’ve lost the light
I’ve fallen before, but not like this,
I’ve held my own and built back up
But something is different
It’s some how changed
The pain I once felt has left and drained
Time turns left and the sky turns blue
Dust to dust, an eye for an eye.
I slowly realise. I’d **** for you
Apr 23, 2019
Apr 23, 2019 at 2:15 PM UTC
To me flaws are as clear as day
Isn't much point in hiding them away
Heard it's supposed to be cold tonight
Freezing them til they crack isn't right
I happen to be desperate and so wrong
Search for a place where I really belong
Wander a path, can I make it straight?
Could if I hurry but I always hesitate
Trees and their leaves wither and change
Forest, without reason, begins to rearrange
To transform with is my aim
To my dismay, my flaws stay the same
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018 at 2:39 PM UTC
I feel
There’s you
In every sunlight.
Touching my skin
So warm.
I know it will burn me
The longer I’m staying
But I’m hesitating
To run.
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 5:13 PM UTC
Procrastination… by Jessie 2/07
I’ve sat…I’ve thought…Then thought some more
Strategically dissecting every move
Looking from every angle
Contemplating the task at hand
It’s evident what needs done
As I solidify my stand
Motivated by end results
Charged in anticipation
I’m getting ready to get ready
But first, I’ll review my notes
Never put off until tomorrow
One of my favorite quotes
I’m pretty sure the plan is good
As I check it five more times
Tentatively reluctant
I’ll sleep on it tonight
Bright and early tomorrow
The time should then be right
I’ve eaten breakfast
Had a bath
Feeling strong and sure
Confidant, dedicated, prepared
Wait one minute, what is this?
Something just seems weird
Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to wait
Let’s give it one more day
What’s the rush?
Let’s think this through
Clearer days tomorrow
When plans can be made new
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 10, 2018 at 7:06 PM UTC
Surrounded by fears I can do so little
Puzzling my heart to finish the riddle
I can't tell if this is worth the tears
For tonight we only dare to dream
There's always a great grey sky I know
Haunting me where ever I go
Covering the stars for my eyes to see
Hiding the sun from the darkness within me
Now the force is so strong I can feel it drags me
Towards the light far away from the grey sky
And the wind starts to shift it's beyond me
Towards the night far away from the grey sky
Maybe I just dont know what it means
To give my arms and take something
To open my eyes and see everything
And to say yes to absolutely nothing
But what is good in keeping the world turns ?
If at the end, all you do is watch it burns
What's the point in holding on ?
When one could leave and then just gone
--
APN
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 2:52 AM UTC
Little do we know of what we know is very little,
too little to put the next step forward,
so little that we even hesitate in putting any extra effort.
With regards to drawing any conclusion at the present moment in time,
little do we know,
if anything about everything in the present,
very little.
Like happiness, even success cannot be achieved instantaneously
Only knowing that both success and happiness have got a definite place in everyone's life will not make things work,
more importantly we need to agree and accept upon the same.
Most importantly, consistent efforts need to be made in the right direction.
Initially it's need of the hour,
then later on,
of course the same becomes a kind of a habit.
Along with time, experience and expertise, patience and perseverance also play a major role in an individual's life.
Over a period of time after actualizing the right moment in time things start to take the right shape when success comes along the way.
Everything now depends upon the future, so ascertaining the future as of now is something that cannot be stopped.
Consistenly, over a period of time something goes on in the mind
There is a sort of restlessness that seeks into the mind
Same restlessness later on becomes a concern and over a period of time the same concern gets deeper,
concern is with regards to the future,
same concern also with regards to doing everything as quickly as possible in the present.
Anxious is the state of mind now, a little bit anxious and somewhat excited to know more.
More than what has already been registered by the mind an anxious mind tries to know everything in detail.
Thoughts in the mind race from present moment of time towards future,
of course, a future has always remained uncertain.
An uncertain future remains on hold and since been on hold,
of concern remains the future,
great concern.
An uncertainty about the future at first disturbs the mind, later on over a period of time there is a restlessness that sets into the mind.
What else is there as of now?
What else is the possibility with regards to the future?
Is there any other way out?
Is there a better way of doing things?
Quite possibly some kind of innovation can be done.
Little do we know of what we know is very little
Little do we know that there is no alternative to hard work and also there is no short cut to success.
Always it's better to play safe rather than to feel sorry later.
Always it's better to know everything at first instead of straightaway jumping on any sort of conculsion,
rightaway making any kind of decision,
since both of which can spoil the game.
Each and everyone plays a game in his life,
a game of his own choice,
a game which will decide the fate of his life.
Better to discuss each and everything first
Once done, then comes the final decision
Right or wrong, of course that fate will decide later.
Little do we know of what we know is very little,
too little to put the next step forward,
so little we know of what all we know that we hesitate in putting in any extra effort.
Even as for drawing any conclusion in the present,
little do we know,
if anyhing about everything in the present,
very little.
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 8:53 AM UTC
*I SHOULD NOT
FEEL GUILTY
FOR SNAPPING
TWIGS
WITH HESITATION
WHILE YOU
CRUSH BONES
WITH EASE*
Sep 20, 2015
Sep 20, 2015 at 12:21 AM UTC
Being in love with you is like kissing the snowflakes passionately as if they were your lids,
Being in love with you is like touching dandelions gently as if they were your lips.
Being in love with you is like feeling the wind by my face as if it was you singing me a lullaby and caressing my hair,
Being in love with you is like lying in a field full of blooming sunflowers in your scent as if you were kissing me there and I was sleeping in your arms.
Being in love with you is like walking on the clouds, flying through the sky and seeing the sun smiles back at me.
Being loved back by you is like a dream-come-true, it is like my shooting star was pouring magical sparkling dust all over me,
it makes me fly up and above, even more than Tinkerbell's pixie dust could make me float.
Aug 19, 2014
Aug 19, 2014 at 10:41 AM UTC
I stand
surrounded by mirrors
reflecting indecisiveness
hovering over each moments hesitation
to go on further
or to remain
how can steps
be taken
without a direction
to follow
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 4:01 PM UTC
A wicked woman told my love, **** him and you will be free."
My love paused, and the wicked woman's old twig of a finger pointed off to me.
Love walked to me with tearful eyes, as if she had no choice.
I smiled wryly and told her in the softness of my voice, "Let it be done, and be free.
No sword is long enough to show my love for thee. No dagger, short enough to match my heart's beat.
So please my love, take your choice of my death. Choose what would be fit."
She didn't hesitate, just cry. She, slowly lifting a mirror from the dust.
I don't know why I felt I must, but I wiped the tears away just to savor her touch.
I looked into her sad blue eyes, just for one more glance. Then I shut my own.
I could feel her lift the mirror, this was her chance, let it be known.
A crashing blankness came down on me, soon after the last things I heard.
"I'm moving up, and you're moving down." These were her last words.
I didn't understand them then, but now I think I know.
She will one day be in the warm light, while I'm still stuck in the cold indigo.
I'd always run up the down escalator, like a crazy kid.
She always said, one day I'd trip.
And now I finally did.
Jan 5, 2014
Jan 5, 2014 at 6:31 AM UTC