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#funny poems

2.9k poems containing #funny
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MagicRead this to yourself. Read it silently. / Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. / Listen to you
@bo-burnham1m
84.3k
No to DrugsI said no to drugs once. / I looked a bag of weed right in the face / and, like a loving but firm fa
@bo-burnham1m
84.2k
The SquaresThe Squares lived happily, / in their square houses, / in their square yards, / in their square town
@bo-burnham1m
81.5k
Kiss YouI want to kiss you all day. / I want to start at dawn. / I want our mouths to dry out by breakfast.
@bo-burnham1m
66.6k
I F--k S--tsSluts! Sluts! I fuck sluts! / Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts! / No ifs, ands, and/or buts! / I f
@bo-burnham2m
65.9k
Confession"No one understands me." / it slipped out in / a timid whisper / as she combed her beard.
@bo-burnham1m
55.7k
I Want to Beat You to DeathI want to beat you to death with a blunt object. / I want to grab one of those high-end fashion mann
@bo-burnham1m
54.8k
ScarfI wear a scarf / to keep my words warm. / So you will smile when / they smack you in the face.
@bo-burnham1m
42.4k
FortniteI hitch a ride on the Battle Bus, / Everyone else jumped out, I must. / I deploy my parachute below,
@HelpingHand451m
41.2k
Subtexthey / sup? / nothing. u? / im ona date with u know who / dude I thawt u and her were thru / i did 2
@bo-burnham1m
39.1k
On Poets and FartsWhy do poets always talk about the ocean's waves, / about their single file march to shore, / and ye
@bo-burnham1m
38.5k
Hold the CheeseI'll have a cheeseburger. / Hold the cheese. / Hold it in your hand until it melts--- / until it bea
@bo-burnham1m
36.3k
Roller CoasterOur love was a roller coaster. / It had ups and downs and I sat real close to her. / It had a real s
@bo-burnham1m
36.3k
Haiku 3Old people's skin sags / Because it is being pulled / To the Underworld.
@bo-burnham1m
35.2k
CrazyYou think I'm crazy? / HA! That's real funny. / If I were crazy, would I have written a twelve-hundr
@bo-burnham1m
34.5k
NineteenThe likes of you I can't describe, / Yet I love to eat between your thighs. / The melody you spake t
@martin-narrod1m
33.2k
Her EyesHer eyes were like fire. / They weren't red or anything. / Not particularly warm, either. / They did
@bo-burnham1m
33.1k
They"Well, man, you know what they say." / No, I don't. I don't know what they say. / I don't even know
@bo-burnham1m
31.6k
SexThe most awkward five minutes of my life.
@aaron-knockovich1m
28.9k
IncomparableYou're incomparable, like a.. / Shit. / Like a...
@bo-burnham1m
28.8k
Our FatherOur father, who art in heaven, / hallowed be thy name, / hollow be thy promises / and shallow be thy
@bo-burnham1m
28.4k
An Unexpected EndingTo you, the ground beneath my feet / Every step I take, / you support me. / You stand with me, / in
@ca-smith1m
27.2k
A Final WishCremate me, please / and sprinkle my ashes, / pinch by pinch / . on strippers' eyelashes.
@bo-burnham1m
27.1k
UsI'll love you until I'm dead on the outside. / I'll give you every one of my mortal seconds. / I'll
@bo-burnham1m
23.2k
Your Dirty MindEvery time I pull it off / it goes off in my face. / It's in my eye and / on my lips, / I look a rig
@SazKells1m
22.5k
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