#fml
When you say those look like they're healing up nicely
I did those in December
They've been fully healed for months
Yet they're still red and potent on my skin
You didn't need to wait a week to see them
They've been fully healed for months
But if you were to ask me to lift up my shirt
Or pull up my pant leg,
I think you'd be in for somewhat of a shock
Since those pulsating wounds,
Won't be healed for days
Nor hours nor months nor even a full year
Say that they're deep
Say that they're bad
Say that they're not superifical
Say that they're something to worry about
Say that they mean something more than cutting.
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 9:20 AM UTC
i'll run my fingers through your hair
and it will fall apart.
you'll run yours through mine, for all i care,
but it was over from the start.
your scent is oddly comforting,
i think, as i glance down at your pale legs
but the look in your eye, telling
me everything. Don't be someone who begs
me for love at three in the morning
i'm probably watching lesbian ****
when you talk, i always find myself yawning.
and i guess, your heart will be torn
into tiny pieces.
it's completely my fault
that our conversations will soon cease
i love you as much as i love salt.
Mar 2
Mar 2, 2026 at 4:11 PM UTC
you know-
i'd catch your blood, every
drop
before it hits the ground
and you can have your
pain
pool in my cupped hands
you know, i
could take it for you
since you deserve so much better
than me
Jan 3
Jan 3, 2026 at 8:15 PM UTC
as much as i'd like not to be
i'm absolutely ****** up
Dec 27, 2025
Dec 27, 2025 at 9:21 PM UTC
How strange
For the chemical composition of my brain to be so dependent upon the countenance of someone who doesn’t even know my name
My name is my identity
I am certain I know the ingredients of your soul, and yet to not know my name is almost as if you do not acknowledge the existence of mine
A stranger who can bypass every measure engineered to keep me stable
I feel like an imbecile, giving a thief the key to break into my house
Except it is self-inflicted
You are not a thief —you never asked to be let in
So why am I falling apart?
It’s a game
A cruel game, really
A race to indifference, except no one is running beside me
And I am above ground
If I stopped I would certainly fall to my death
I wish to love you out loud, with all of my being
But that’s weird
So instead I will look for you in every room I enter
I will wait to see you knit your brows in that adorable way you do when someone says something that confounds you
I will hold my breath until you do something that reminds me why I fell in love with you
And my love will crescendo with every endearing action
I will timetable my stares
And pray you are doing the same
But you are not.
I see you and my longing deepens
I feel my love pour into me like crimson out of a crystal decanter
Meanwhile, is your love diminishing?
When you smile, I yearn for your soul
When I smile, do you wish I were dead?
Or worse…do you feel nothing at all?
I want to trace the map of your idiosyncrasies
‘X’ marks the spot is my love to the power of infinity
I crave the intimacy of understanding on a cellular level
I want to lay on your chest and feel your heartbeat and know that you are real and I am real and my love was justified all along
Even when I had no clear indication you were anything but a projection of my overzealous mind
I think you looked at me
But it was in a public setting so I cannot be certain
In a room of so many souls, how can I be sure it is mine you are speculating about
What do I do with the earth-shattering possibility that you are not?
Moments like these are worse than rejection because they give me hope
I find I must balance the hope blossoming in my chest in one hand with the weight of reality in the other
But my heart is in my hand
So one of them has to give
If only you’d take it from me
I am ashamed
Do others feel things so deeply
Or is it just I,
meandering with this bottomless well of love in me
With no one to draw from me and lighten my load
Sometimes my love takes a hold of me and wraps around me so tightly, my vision stars
Have you noticed?
I feel it leaking out of my orifices
Ultimately, I will wait
Perched at the rock within my mind
And when you walk in and illuminate everyone and everything
I will hope your light reaches me
How sad
The pain of yearning for a light that will never shine on me
Apr 7, 2025
Apr 7, 2025 at 8:52 PM UTC
pre-extraction nerves
found a seat to ground myself
anxiety spiked
Sep 7, 2024
Sep 7, 2024 at 11:14 PM UTC
Those moments in life
That staccato heart beat
An anxious mind and the release of sleep
The tightness of a chest bound by woe
Picks up the phone one last time
Feb 5, 2023
Feb 5, 2023 at 9:48 PM UTC
Surrounded by a solid foundation
Not certain if it's for my protection
Not certain if it's for your protection
All these questions and blames games
But you never questioned or held blame
for the one you selected to be your president
It's easier to just stroll through a phone
and bicker about nonimportant messages
Don't save her. She doesn't wanna be saved!
He ain't a good teacher. Why does he get a raise!?
So, why you are dealing with the same life lesson?!
**** everything I have to say, unless it's relevant
I could put emphasis on that, but instead of f***ing this whole chain up rather remain celibate.
Everywhere I turn.
Somebody is trying to f*** me.
Without the ****
I'm not the begging type
but "fool, give me a break" PLEASE.
I can be calming and surprising
like the summer time breeze
Keep memories in heart company, when feeling unease
The feeling which is oh so lonely
Have you remembering talks of nostalgia
with your parents, like when you first discussed
"The Birds and Bees." Master these elements, summoning great power of one's eternal beyond to receive grace from deities.
Making sure all the contacts are informed and balanced, remaining as one in connection regardless of location. Which should've been incoperated through our history!
I been on this for centuries!
You call it business structure. I call it perfect symmetry!
I'm just another brother, which as much love to give as
a grateful mother in a world of living color....
We still burning each other alive.
Just for others to shine like a diamond
in the night, oh so bright.
We got idiots roaming around
making profit and we are nothing more than discarded objects
Last time I check. You can put a price on a ring.
You can't put a price on a wife?
Yet I am the problem??
So f*** my life right??
Feb 12, 2021
Feb 12, 2021 at 3:57 PM UTC
Pills on the table. Fallen over. Not up straight.
A glass of water, half full... or is it half empty?
Lying in bed, my chest aches, the weight
of the **** of the fear of the....
Where do I go from here?
Feel sick, that twisted stomach, gut up in throat,
Knowing that there's something to say, something to hear,
Wanting to speak out, wanting to say wanting to....
Deep breathe, 1...2...3...1...2...
Can't get to three, minds wanderin'
again and again and again and....
Why do we find ourself here again... and... again... and again....
Stop. Breathe. Listen. Stop breathe listen stopbreathlisten sopibrethisten.....
Calm... calm... calm....
I can't I cant' Why can't I?
It's too much and I can't. I beg of you, I say I can't........
Where did my mind go today?
Where didn't my mind go today?
Why did my mind go today?
When will it come back?
It's easy, just think. Remember. The worst is over...
but why does this seem worse?
Why does this seem more difficult?
Is it because it's someone I loved?
Because it's someone who I thought loved me... for a time?
Is it because it happened under my nose, I didn't realise?
Is it because it's so insidious and the fear that stays in my chest, that's keeping me awake at night is real and I feel that I know the answer, the truth but I fear it?
(Or is it because it wasn't the only time?)
Let me let you in on a secret, the clowns that laugh in my head.
Yes... That laugh the eyes that float around.
The little girl singing those horror songs. Quiet but loud, the laughing,
The shouting,
The screaming,
The screaming,
THE SCREAMING....
It's not real. Or is it? No, I'm sure it's not!!!
It's definitely not, at leastI can tell the difference between whats real and what not real. Right. Thats what matters right? Thats what matters right? Thats what......
At least the **** doesn't affect me.
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 9:53 AM UTC
Wal-Mart at 12 a.m. is almost eerie.
Silent save the occasional shopper or manager,
Perhaps following you to ensure you don't do anything foolish.
Picking out the dumbest things just because you need to smile.
Playing with your friend in the toys, letting go for once,
Just to be chased away by management.
Losing one of the squad and looking for her.
Wandering over to the makeup, glancing at the camera,
Then picking out what you want and pocketing it an aisle over.
Going to the arcade and winning for once.
It's not a secret, you needed a win,
Plus your little sibling will love the new stuffed toy.
Seeing a random family member.
Rushing away as to remain unseen,
Knowing if your parents find out you will be dead.
The general feeling of disassociated contentedness when you finally leave.
You won't remember half of what happened anyway,
But who cares.
Shopping at night is the best.
Aug 22, 2019
Aug 22, 2019 at 12:37 AM UTC
The way he walks
His smile
And his complete look.
Drives me absolutely nuts.
The way you turn red,
The way you blush.
I have to know, do you ever think of me too?
I think I've caught you staring across the room.
But it's hard to tell, with all these rules and layers built up.
Please give me a sign, if you see a spark in me, if there could ever be an us.
As of right now, to you;
I'm just another employee.
And To all reading this,
Wish me luck.
I have my heart wrapped around something forbidden
My eyes set on a cloud I can see but not touch.
I can't help it, mister.
you are the one I adore.
The one I yearn to touch.
I do hope, this won't become too much.
Jul 5, 2019
Jul 5, 2019 at 11:03 PM UTC
I wish i could do
The right ******* thing for once
But i guess i cant
Jun 2, 2019
Jun 2, 2019 at 8:07 AM UTC
this isn't fair
my soul
screams louder than the blizzard raging on outside
life isn't fair
i'm tired of this whole living thing
it's not a type of tired that sleep can fix
i don't want to feel ever again.
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 1:02 AM UTC
these words trapped in my throat
each passing second more and more times they fold over
I can't even call you by your name anymore
I wish we were different
I wish you were different
this shouldn't be a chore
you shouldn't be above me
I can't forget how I'm feeling
break
please leave me I don't want to be the villain
the love I feel for you isn't what it was
these warm rays have turned into scorching heat
you burned away at my psyche and I'm the shell of the past me
but I want to love you
I want to shelter you away from yourself
but I cant fix this
you refuse to change
don't get me wrong I still love you as a person but I don't love who you are with me
insecurities swallow you whole and you're trying to take me with you
I cant go too I've fought too hard to not go
I want to break up
Feb 15, 2019
Feb 15, 2019 at 9:51 AM UTC