i don't really know
what happens biologically
in the give of skin and nerves and flesh
against blade
i know the chorus in my head-
the cuts- bright, blinding slicing
i could draw the lines over and over
until it doesn't hurt anymore
until i quiet the voice by the name of selfishness
and a thousand other titles; pain
hatred
guilt
i know the difference
between a slit that can leave a scar
and one that will disappear
i know the pattern of the lines on my skin
and the diluted red
down the drain
3h ago
Jun 5, 2026 at 12:25 AM UTC
i hate what you did to me
but what's worse is i let you do it
21h ago
Jun 4, 2026 at 6:02 AM UTC
a list, again:
all our texts
our voices caught in the cobwebs in my room
old monster cans stacked up in corners
our memories covered in posters on my walls
the scrapbook with i love you written what must have been a million times sitting my trash can but i know i'll never throw it away
the coraline top i borrowed and you said you didn't want it back
the arrietty sketchbook, for my thirteenth
the notes we passed in class
the feeling that you're somehow still here
with your cold gaze
and hands around my neck
1d ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 6:52 PM UTC
Everyone was scared of the monster under the bed.
I used to lie on the floor and look into his eyes.
They didn’t seem threatening, only lonely and afraid.
We would stay there for hours,
both of us listening to the crack of cans opening in the other room,
wondering what they would fight about tomorrow,
what they would blame me for as their eyes went glossy with *****
We lay in silence, not enemies, just two living things caught in the same war.
People think of monsters as something outside themselves,
but sometimes the monster is what you grow inside yourself,
or what you learn to live with in the dark.
1d ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 6:45 PM UTC
sitting here in front of another half-finished poem,
essay, poster, letter,
mirror with another blade in my hands
i'm so ******* sick of myself
i'm just done
shouldn't there be more
than the whisper the murmur the scream in my head?
more than red?
why can't i get over this?
get over you? i keep reaching and reaching
and i'm so close if only you'd unshackle my wrists
from the place in your heart where you keep me, to stay
why don't you see how much more there is?
how much beyond falling?
why don't you see that whatever you do
however much you care
i'll come back here?
it's not your fault.
3d ago
Jun 2, 2026 at 1:57 AM UTC
like calls to like and therefore
i am park swings and spring weather
taking the lightrail downtown
the retro game store and keychain shop
your leather jacket and my docs
sharpie-inked arms and covered scars
monster can tabs dropped in a jar on my desk
helping you dye your hair red
wicked for good at imax and spinning around
and around at school dances
black lace and your blue striped sweater
drying your tears and you saying
i'm so lucky to have you and i hope you know you did have me
even if i wasn't who you thought i was
i hope you know i want to hate you
but god, as hard as i try
it all comes back to you
3d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 10:02 PM UTC
that word seems not enough
to contain you
and your millions
4d ago
May 31, 2026 at 5:48 PM UTC
or maybe i should say
i loved you since the day i met you
and now i try hate you most times
but sometimes
in the glimpses of your smile
and the flick of your brown hair
i still love you
i still love you
i still ******* love you and god i don't know what to do with that
4d ago
May 31, 2026 at 5:46 PM UTC